


Numb

by Jinx (jinx37kat)



Series: One Chance [3]
Category: The OC
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-18
Updated: 2005-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-25 04:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 41,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4945912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinx37kat/pseuds/Jinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan jerked his head up and stared at Seth.  After what happened that afternoon, he supposed Seth was within his rights to ask.  But it still hurt to think that Seth was still unconvinced of Ryan’s love.  <i>But, you’re no different</i>, his mind taunted.  <i>You’ve blamed the man you claim to love for cheating on you.  How’s that for being unconvinced of someone’s love?</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Numb

I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
I've become so tired so much more aware

everything that you thought I would be  
Has fallen apart right in front of you

\--Numb, Linkin Park

 

 

Seth

 

Seth cursed the keys to the house as his hand shook to unlock the door. 

 

“C’mon! C’MON!!”

 

He heard the pounding of footsteps getting closer and closer and cursed again. “Fuck, c’mon!”

 

Finally he heard the ‘snick’ of the lock and pushed the door open almost falling in his haste to get inside… get to safety. He flung the door closed behind him and ran for the stairs. Mid way up the stairs he heard the door open and crash closed behind him.

 

Shit! I am so dead!

 

He could see the door to his room. Just a few more steps and he’d be safe. Just a few more…

 

Just as he got the door open to his room and took two steps inside, he was tackled from behind and fell face first into the carpet. A foot kicked the door closed and a body started scrambling up his own, pinning him down.

 

Seth tried to wriggle away, clawing at the carpet, trying in vain to pull himself further into his room and away from his attacker. But it was no use. He was defeated.

 

Warm breath at his neck made him freeze and he gulped audibly, body shaking in… laughter.

 

“Uncle! Uncle! I give up!” He tried to turn around on his back, but the body above him wouldn’t move. Instead, a face began to nuzzle the side of his throat, nose pushing into the soft spot behind his ear, tongue flicking out to taste and tease.

 

Immediately, Seth’s body sagged and all tension fled as Ryan continued his assault.

 

“Oh, god,” Seth moaned. “Don’t stop.”

 

And as if the words were the catalyst, Ryan did just that… he stopped.

 

“Ry-aaaan,” Seth whined, wriggling his body under Ryan’s. “I said ‘don’t’ stop. What you are doing is the opposite of not stopping. Which would be stopping. Something I asked you not to do.”

 

He felt the weight lift off him and Seth turned his body around to lie on his back. He looked up into the amused eyes of his… what the hell was he? 

 

Best friend? Ryan would always be that. Whether they had taken this to the next level or not. Regardless of Seth’s pathetic attempts to de-best friend Ryan, they were just meant to be. 

 

Boyfriend? That sounded so weird, but he liked it nonetheless. Sure it was minty, but who cared. He certainly didn’t.

 

Lover? Well, they really hadn’t done anything too overt. Okay, sure, there had been the orgasm of the century the first time and, okay, the second time was pretty damned monumentous (yeah, so, that’s not a word, was it?—well, it is in the Seth Cohen dictionary, so…). Hmm, where was he? Oh, yeah! And the third time…? Hell, he was still recovering from that. And the fourth?! God!!! But… from the standpoint of nakedness? Not yet. He had yet to see a fully naked Ryan. Well, in the context of sex and that was just wrong on so, so, so, (sure one more) SO many levels. But soon, his mind begged. Soon!

 

Ryan was looking down on Seth in bemusement and raised an eyebrow. “Nice conversation?” 

 

Seth grinned. “Always.”

 

It had become a joke between them… Seth would have these internal monologues with himself and if Ryan caught him at it, he would always ask if Seth was having a nice conversation. 

 

“At least you have a captive audience,” Ryan snickered before leaning down and burying his face in the curve of Seth neck.

 

Seth’s retort died on his lips as Ryan buried his face in the curve of Seth’s throat, tongue drawing a strip up to Seth’s ear lobe. Seth groaned as the lobe was sucked into Ryan’s mouth. Ryan suckled for a few moments before moving up the back side of his ear, laving a particularly sensitive spot at the bottom.

 

Seth slid his arms around Ryan’s back, slipping both hands into the waistband of Ryan’s jeans. He moved his head around, dislodging Ryan’s talented tongue and took said tongue into his mouth, sucking hungrily, desperately needing the spiciness of Ryan on his lips. Both boys moaned at the flavor and Ryan dug a hand into Seth’s curls, gripping his hair tightly, trying to fuse their mouths together. One of Seth’s legs curled over the back of Ryan’s, bringing their groins into closer contact.

 

Seth threw his head back and groaned, “God, yes Ryan.”

 

With throat bared, Ryan dove in, latching his mouth on Seth’s adam’s apple, sucking voraciously. One of Seth’s hands moved from beneath Ryan’s jeans to grip his hair, keeping Ryan in place on his neck. 

 

“Ryan, please!” Seth bucked up, trying frantically to rub himself against Ryan’s hardness.

 

Ryan groaned and thrust his hips down as his mouth moved to suck a bruise under Seth’s jaw. “Mmm…”

 

Seth sighed as he felt Ryan push down, covered cocks grinding against each other, harder and harder, bringing both boys closer and closer to the edge.

 

Ryan began chanting quietly, “SethSethSethSeth.” It was enough for Seth to totally lose it. Shoving up one last time, Seth came hard in his pants, shuddering with the relief and intensity of his orgasm.

 

Ryan pressed down a few more times with the help of one of Seth’s legs and a hand which was still on his ass under his jeans, before coming as well, body shivering for a moment before collapsing heavily on top of Seth.

 

They lay together; Ryan’s weight a welcome feeling on Seth’s sated body. Seth groaned as Ryan nuzzled his face behind Seth’s ear. With a hand still in Ryan’s jeans and the other tangled in Ryan’s hair, Seth squeezed Ryan closer to him, sighing deeply.

 

“One of these days we’ll take our clothes off.”

 

He felt more than heard Ryan snort into his neck. “Maybe.”

 

Seth tried to move his head back to glare at Ryan, but Ryan merely snuggled closer. “Maybe?”

 

“One of these days.”

 

“Prick,” Seth muttered.

 

“Is very happy right now, thank you.”

 

Seth snickered. “Mine, too.”

 

They probably would have stayed on the floor and dozed if they hadn’t heard a set of footsteps clopping up the stairs. Ryan scrambled up and was sitting on Seth chest when Sandy knocked and entered before anyone gave him permission to come in. Seth begged the sex gods that it looked like he and Ryan were doing nothing other than wrestling… or something. Something NON sexual looking, he amended silently.

 

Sandy peered around the corner of the door, seeing the two boys on the floor. Seth’s hands were pinned to the ground and Ryan was leaning over his son.

 

Ryan looked over his shoulder at Sandy and grinned. “Come to say goodbye to your son?”

 

Sandy barked a laugh. “I suppose so.”

 

Seth’s face was indignant. “Dad! Come on! A little help here?”

 

Sandy looked between Seth and Ryan. “I don’t know, son. I think Ryan could take me. I’d better not risk it. I couldn’t leave your mother all alone.”

 

“Wise choice,” Ryan grinned.

 

“I actually came up here to tell you dinner’s ready.” Sandy looked at Seth then at Ryan. “Should I set one or two places for dinner?”

 

Ryan gave Sandy a shark-like grin before turning to Seth. “One will be enough.”

 

“Dad!” Seth shouted. “Come on! I’m your son. Your only son. Mom would be sad if you let Ryan kill me.”

 

Sandy leaned over and ruffled Ryan’s hair. “That’s okay, Seth, we’d still have Ryan.”

 

“DAD!” Seth yelled as Sandy chuckled and left the room, closing the door behind him.

 

Once Sandy had left, Ryan sagged down on Seth and buried his face in his favorite spot—in the curve of Seth’s neck. He let out a heavy breath. “That was close.”

 

“You think he bought it?” Seth asked, slipping a hand into Ryan’s hair, cradling his head against him; the other slipping around his back, hugging tightly.

 

“I don’t know. I think so.”

 

“I hope so,” Seth added. “Though, I’m kinda thinking the wrestling thing might be getting kinda old.”

 

“Well, if he’d quit interrupting at inconvenient times…”

 

They stayed wrapped up together for a few minutes before their jeans became too uncomfortable and they moved apart.

 

“Ugh,” Ryan grimaced, standing up and reaching down a hand to help Seth up.

 

Seth stood and wriggled his hips in an attempt to make his jeans more comfortable. He looked up in time to see Ryan, eyes heavy-lidded, staring at him hungrily. He grinned lecherously and wriggled his eyebrows.

 

“Like what you see?”

 

The next thing Seth knew, he was flattened up against the wall, arms pressed over his head. Ryan’s body crushed tightly against him; his face nuzzling Seth’s neck.

 

Seth sagged a bit, but was held up by Ryan’s strong grip. “Yeeeeesssss,” Seth sighed, hips circling and thrusting gently against Ryan.

 

Ryan continued pushing against Seth, tongue trailing behind and around Seth’s sensitive ear. “I love what I see,” Ryan whispered softly.

 

Just as Seth was about to come a second time, Ryan abruptly stepped back, causing Seth to stumble against Ryan’s chest.

 

Seth blinked dumbly up at Ryan, hands gripping Ryan’s shirt in his fists. “Wha—?” 

 

“I need a shower.”

 

Seth’s eyes narrowed and he started shaking Ryan in his grip. “You are… There are no words, Ryan Atwood. You are evil. Evil and mean. Evil, mean and wicked. Evil, mean, wicked and bad. You are bad. A bad, bad man. You suck! You…”

 

Ryan stepped closer to Seth; both hands covering Seth’s with his own, leaning forward. “One day,” Ryan muttered softly.

 

Seth frowned. “Huh?”

 

Ryan flicked a tongue in Seth’s ear. “Suck.”

 

Seth’s eyes widened.

 

Ryan dislodged Seth’s fingers and walked to the door, stopping at the doorway, hand poised over the doorknob. “One day.” He puckered his lips and blew a kiss to a stunned and now flushing Seth before stepping out the door.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

Ryan had been worried about getting passed Sandy and Kirsten in his damp jeans, but it hadn’t been a problem. They were both too busy taking food out of containers to notice him.

 

By the time he returned to the house, after a quick shower and change of clothes, the food was on the table and Sandy and Kirsten were just sitting down.

 

“I put out two places since I wasn’t sure if Seth was still alive,” Sandy quipped.

 

Ryan grinned and sat down. “I only let him live for the sake of Kirsten.”

 

Kirsten smiled. “Thank you, sweetie. It was difficult enough getting him into this world… I’d hate for him to leave it so soon.”

 

“Who’s leaving?” Seth asked as he bound into the room, sitting down across from Ryan.

 

“Son! You’re alive!” Sandy exclaimed, raising his hands in triumph.

 

Seth flushed then grinned. “No thanks to Mr. Neanderthal over there.” Seth pointed a fork in Ryan’s direction.

 

Ryan blushed and ducked his head.

 

“What did you do now, Seth?” Kirsten asked, smiling; and Ryan grinned smugly across the table at Seth, resisting the urge to stick out his tongue. Oh what the hell… he shrugged and did it anyway. He loved it when Kirsten took his side, even in joking, which they did periodically during dinners.

 

“Me?! What makes you think I did anything?”

 

All three people around the table froze and looked incredulously at Seth.

 

“What?!” Seth grinned and shoveled in as much lasagna his mouth could hold.

 

“The innocent act never worked with your father, Seth, and it’s not working with you.”

 

“’Innocent act’,” Sandy repeated, well, innocently. “What ‘innocent act’?”

 

Ryan and Kirsten exchanged looks and rolled their eyes.

 

“What?” Seth and Sandy said at the same time, making everyone at the table laugh.

 

* * * * *

 

After dinner, Ryan and Seth went out to the pool house as was custom for them after dinner. It was under the pretense of homework, but while it was done at home, it was far from work.

 

With the door firmly locked, they sat at the end of the bed, controllers in hand, playing the latest ‘Fantastic Four’ game. It wasn’t as good as the movie, but it was better than ‘Star Wars III’, which had lost its appeal pretty quickly.

 

A few lost games later, Ryan threw down his controller in disgust. He was about to complain before he found himself with a lapful of Seth, which was much, much better anyway. He gripped the globes of Seth’s ass and looked up into wide brown eyes.

 

“Hey,” he whispered, leaning forward to nestle against Seth’s chest. This was, by far, his favorite position. It gave him unobstructed access to his favorite part of Seth’s body… his neck. Seth had complained about it… once. Until Ryan began licking and sucking random patterns around his throat. 

 

Ryan never heard another complaint again.

 

He closed his eyes and burrowed his nose up and under Seth’s jaw, lips nipping and sucking bits of skin. He felt Seth shudder and slide his arms around Ryan’s neck. Ryan slipped one hand up Seth’s back under his shirt, bringing him in closer contact. He grinned in victory when he heard Seth sigh and felt him sag against him.

 

“God, Ryan,” Seth sighed softly, tilting his head back. “You have got to be the best kisser ever.”

 

Ryan moved back and looked at Seth quizzically. Seth, realizing that Ryan was no longer kissing him, looked down. “What? Dude, it’s the truth!”

 

Ryan smiled shyly. “Thanks.”

 

Seth grinned back. “Now get back to work,” Seth demanded tilting his head back, arching his throat. Had it been any other body part and if Ryan’s brain was functioning even at least a quarter as much, Ryan probably would have protested, but he was powerless in the face of the lean line of Seth’s neck. He quickly buried his face against the soft skin and began sucking a bruise under Seth’s jaw.

 

They made out a while longer until a knock on the door had them scattering like frightened mice. Seth was on the bed with a book opened so fast, Ryan wondered if he really didn’t have some kind of super powers. Groaning in disappointment, Ryan stood up and went to unlock the door.

 

“Yeah?” He opened the door to Kirsten, who stood outside with the phone in her hand.

 

“Ryan, it’s your brother.”

 

Ryan’s face immediately closed down, but he thanked Kirsten anyway as he took the phone from her. “Thanks.”

 

“Sure, sweetie.” She looked at him in concern before turning back towards the house.

 

Ryan turned to Seth and lifted the phone before stepping outside. He noticed the concern on Seth’s face, too, but decided he needed to deal with his brother first before reassuring Seth that he was okay… which he wasn’t really sure he was.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan came back into the pool house about ten minutes later and sat down with a heavy sigh on the bed next to an anxious Seth.

 

“You okay?” Seth asked softly.

 

Ryan nodded as he turned to Seth. “Yeah.”

 

“What did he want?”

 

“He’s getting out of jail tomorrow. Wants me to pick him up in Chino.”

 

Seth’s eyes widened but, for once, said nothing. He just leaned against Ryan’s shoulder and reached out to grip his hand. He brought Ryan’s hand up to his chest and held it tightly between both of his own.

 

Ryan arched an eyebrow inquiringly, but Seth merely shook his head and leaned over to brush his lips lightly over Ryan’s.

 

* * * * *

 

The next day, Ryan got up early and showered and got dressed before sagging on a chair, thinking about what the day was going to bring. After the phone call last night, he and Seth sat in the pool house for a few hours not really saying anything until Seth suggested that they tell his parents about the call. He was sure both Sandy and Kirsten were worried about Trey’s sudden contact with Ryan.

 

When Ryan told them what Trey wanted, Sandy immediately offered to drive Ryan to pick up his brother.

 

Seth slowly entered the pool house that morning, doors already wide open. Ryan didn’t notice him at first until Seth grabbed a socked-toe and wriggled. “Hey. What are you doing in here? There’s bagels and cream cheese to be had in the kitchen.”

 

Ryan glanced up at Seth. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

 

“And yet you’re sitting,” Seth pointed out.

 

Ryan sat forward but did not get up. “I guess I just needed a second to brace myself for today.” He sat back.

 

“Yeah,” Seth leaned against the door jam. “Picking up your brother from prison is not not intense.” Ryan looked up at Seth, silently marveling at the Seth-logic. “Have you talked to him at all since, uh…?”

 

“Since last Thanksgiving when he tried to get me to steal a car?” Ryan finished for him. “No.” Ryan picked at the wicker chair. “Kinda thought he was outta my life for good.”

 

Seth frowned, concern in his eyes. “Well, do you want him outta your life?”

 

Ryan shook his head and shrugged, thinking. He was silent for a few moments before turning imploring eyes on Seth. “I don’t know. Maybe. He’s my brother, but… The guy’s trouble.”

 

“Well, if you want my advice...” Ryan glanced up at Seth and gave him a crooked smile. “I mean… I, I, I don’t know who I’m kidding. I’m totally outta my league on this one.” Ryan smiled softly and Seth moved to sit on the footstool in front of Ryan. Seth grabbed Ryan’s toe again and idly moved his foot back and forth.

 

“I will say this, though,” Seth continued. “As your brother. You’re other brother who’s less related to you,” Ryan raised his eyebrows so high they disappeared under his hair. 

 

“Um, no offense, Seth, but I would really like it if you didn’t refer to yourself as my brother. In any way, shape or form.”

 

“You know what I mean,” Seth pinched the toe hard.

 

Ryan grumbled and jerked his foot back, sitting forward and glaring at Seth. Seth leaned forward, looked around to make sure no one else was around and quickly brushed his lips against Ryan’s.

 

Ryan sat back and looked around, too, though unafraid of being caught. They were quite alone in the pool house.

 

Seth went on with his thought. “I officially have your back.”

 

Ryan grinned. “Thanks, man.”

 

Seth clapped his hands together and stood up. “All right. Let’s go. Put your shoes on. Bagels are waiting.”

 

“Yes.” Ryan leaned forward, grabbing his shoes and following Seth out of the pool house.

 

When they entered the kitchen, Sandy and Kirsten were talking about Trey.

 

“Morning,” Seth stated. “You might want to switch to a more neutral topic.”

 

Ryan smiled gratefully at the back of Seth’s head and patted Seth’s back as he came up to stand next to Sandy.

 

“Hey,” Sandy said, slathering cream cheese on a bagel. “I was just about to come and get you. You ready?”

 

“Sure,” Ryan answered without enthusiasm. “Look, um, I appreciate you driving me down to Chino, but I could take care of this myself. This shouldn’t have to be your problem.”

 

“Hey,” Sandy said. “If it’s a Ryan problem, it’s a Cohen problem.”

 

Ryan felt Seth poke him in the back. When Ryan turned around, Seth had a ‘see? told you’ look on his face and the two boys grinned at each other.

 

When Ryan turned back around Sandy was holding out a bagel. “Here. For the road.”

 

Ryan took the bagel. “Thanks.”

 

* * * * *

 

It was strange seeing Trey again after all this time. The Thanksgiving incident was still fresh in Ryan’s mind, so when Trey came through the door, Ryan merely held out his hand in greeting.

 

However, when Trey grabbed him and hugged him, all the barriers crashed down and Ryan wrapped his arms around his brother and held on. God! It was so good to see him again.

 

The three left the prison and Ryan couldn’t have been happier to see the last of that place. He shuddered when he realized how close he came to being just like Trey. But somehow, someway, the powers of the universe gave him Sandy Cohen as an attorney and that one, small thing changed his whole life. He wished that Trey could have had a Sandy Cohen, but knew deep down in his heart that whether Trey did or not have a great, caring attorney; it wouldn’t have worked out for his brother. He just hoped that Trey could appreciate the help now.

 

* * * * *

 

Trey assured them that he had a place to stay in Chino. But when Sandy and Ryan took Trey to his friend’s house, it was clear that no one was home to meet him. As they watched Trey look in the windows of the small house, Sandy asked Ryan if maybe they could take Trey home to Newport… at least for a few days. Ryan was apprehensive at first, but seeing his brother looking lost, he quickly agreed.

 

Ryan got a perverse sort of pleasure watching Trey look around the house. He remembered feeling exactly the same way when he first entered the Cohen residence. Now, it was home. His home. His and Seth’s home.

 

Ryan smiled.

 

When Sandy told Trey he could have the pool house and Ryan could bunk in the guest room, Ryan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning like an idiot. Not because he was loosing his room or that he was thankful that Sandy was being so nice to Trey, but because the guest room was next to Seth’s. Next door to Seth’s room? Yes! Outwardly, Ryan said nonchalantly, “Yeah, okay.”

 

Ryan led Trey to the pool house and began to feel a bit uncomfortable as Trey marveled quite boisterously at the back yard alone. “This is where you’ve been living?”

 

“Yeah, well…” Ryan shrugged and ducked his head. Ryan was feeling almost embarrassed at his new life. Here he was living a life, well, to Trey, of absolute luxury and his brother had just spent the past almost two years in prison.

 

“Oh, you got hooked up!” Trey exclaimed turning around in a circle, gaping at the backyard, pool and ocean view.

 

They walked into the pool house. “Towels are in the linen closet,” Ryan instructed. “And you can borrow whatever shower stuff you need.”

 

Trey walked passed Ryan and patted him on the chest. “Thanks.” He turned to Ryan. “And sorry I’m kickin’ you outta your little cabana mansion here,” he said a little sarcastically.

 

Ryan laughed lightly, but said more seriously. “Yeah. But, it’s only for a few days.”

 

The air grew heavy with tension as Trey turned to Ryan. “Yeah, don’t worry. I won’t get too comfortable.”

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” Ryan replied awkwardly.

 

“No, look. I know I’m crashing your little party here. But you gotta, gotta good thing going on here and I’m not gonna screw it up. Promise.” Trey seemed so sincere that Ryan couldn’t help but believe him. He wanted to so bad and was willing to give his brother the benefit of the doubt.

 

For now.

 

“Okay,” he said. “See ya later.”

 

“See you later,” Trey repeated, going further in to the room.

 

Ryan left to go back in to the house. He was half way there before he paused and turned around, looking at his brother. He watched as Trey removed his jean jacket and tossed it on the chair. 

 

He really did hope everything would turn out for the best. 

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

Seth tried to convince his dad that morning to let him tag along to Chino with him and Ryan, but Kirsten was having none of it and forced Seth to go to school.

 

It was the longest day of the century. Not only did he want the benefit of skipping school (what teenager doesn’t want that?), but more importantly, he wanted to be there for Ryan. Trey getting out of prison was a big deal and Seth just wanted to support Ryan in any way that he could. Plus there was that little niggling feeling in his gut that tried its damnedest to tell him that once Trey was out of jail, he would take Ryan away and Seth would never see him again.

 

The rational part of his mind told him he was overreacting, but he couldn’t help it. He was Seth Cohen. Overreacting was a latent Cohen gene or something.

 

Anyway, the day lagged to the point that Seth had serious thoughts of running away. Thankfully, though, the last class ended and Seth bolted out of school like the building was on fire.

 

He raced to his room and tossed his book bag and skateboard to the floor before rushing down the stairs.

 

Not wanting to look too enthusiastic, however, Seth slowly sauntered into the pool house, hearing noises from inside the kitchenette area.

 

“Hey, man. I want some details,” Seth asked an empty room. He sidled up to the bar and continued speaking. “Does Trey seem different to you? I mean, he found Jesus? Does he have a Chinese tattoo? Did he shave his head?”

 

Trey came out of the pantry and glared at Seth. “Oh for three.”

 

Seth colored slightly. But in normal Seth-onian fashion, and despite his embarrassment, he continued talking. “Oh. Hi. You’re. Not Ryan.”

 

“Nope. Trey,” Trey answered, moving around the bar and down the steps towards the wicker chair. Trey dug through some clothes and steadily ignored Seth.

 

“Yeah, well. I was close. You’re still an Atwood. Only a slightly more edgy, darker, version. I think. But, some people think Ryan’s gotten a little softer…”

 

“Ryan says you talk a lot,” Trey interrupted, still not looking at Seth.

 

“Yeah,” Seth confirmed, “It’s kinda a problem, but hopefully one you’ll come to find enduring.” When Trey didn’t reply, Seth continued. “So, uh, how’s it, you know, feel to be, uh, like, out?”

 

Trey glared at Seth, shaking a shirt in his hand. “Good.”

 

“Yeah, cool. Monosyllables. Run in the family. That’s awesome.” Seth turned to the door and saw his dad enter the room. He couldn’t have been happier to see his dad than he was at that very moment. “Hey!”

 

Ryan was right behind Sandy.

 

“Oh good,” Sandy said. “You two’ve already met. Trey’s going to be staying with us.”

 

Seth raised his eyebrows but remained silent. He wanted to say something, but since Trey was oh, so, talkative… NOT, he decided to keep his mouth shut.

 

“Just until I can find my own place,” Trey added.

 

When Sandy went over to Trey to give him some money for clothes and other necessities, Seth moved towards Ryan. 

 

Trey followed Sandy out of the pool house a moment later. “You coming?” Trey asked Ryan.

 

“Just a sec,” Ryan answered.

 

Seth stared at Ryan for a minute, not really sure what to say. The scene in the pool house with Trey left him very self-conscious and very nervous, but he really wanted to make the effort to get to know Ryan’s brother – for Ryan’s sake if nothing else.

 

“Hey, you want me to come? I’ve got a knack at picking out post-prison wardrobe,” Seth offered.

 

“You know what? Do you mind if maybe…?”

 

Seth shook his head, trying not to show his disappointment. “Yeah, no, man, that’s cool. You need some time alone with your brother…”

 

“You don’t mind?”

 

Seth smiled at Ryan and grabbed Ryan’s finger which was running sensually up and down Seth’s stomach. “Of course not, dude. I’m good. But if you keep doing that…”

 

“You sure?” Ryan asked doubtful, looking up at Seth from under his lashes.

 

Seth’s eyes softened and he groaned, shuddering from Ryan’s look. “Y-y-yeah, man. G-go. Before I change my mind.”

 

Ryan leaned forward and whispered, “Love you,” before turning around and leaving a stunned and blushing Seth behind him.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

Ryan smiled as he left a quivering mass of Seth behind. Teasing Seth was one of the greatest joys in life. It had been fun before they had gotten together, but it was even doubly so now. Because now, Ryan could tease with just a look or a touch and Seth was putty in his hands. He kind of regretted teasing Seth this time, though, because he wanted nothing more than to go back and slam Seth down on the pool house bed and fuck the hell outta him. Well, since they hadn’t really reached that pinnacle yet, he at least could have brought them to a very fast, very fulfilled orgasm. 

 

Ryan and Trey were half way out to the car before Ryan stopped and turned to his brother. “Hey, man. You mind if Seth tags along.”

 

Ryan could tell that Seth had wanted to come along even though he was trying his best to make it look like he was fine being left behind. And Ryan decided that maybe it would be a good idea, giving his brother and his, uh, best friend a chance to get to know each other better.

 

Trey rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow but said, “I don’t care.”

 

“Cool.” Ryan ran back out to the pool house and grabbed Seth as he was sitting down on the bed.

 

“C’mon.”

 

Seth looked up at Ryan questioningly. “Huh?”

 

“I need your help picking out post-prison clothes. You’re the only guy for the job, right?”

 

Seth grinned and stood up, following Ryan out of the door.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth was strangely silent on their way to the shop. Ryan kept checking the rearview mirror to make sure Seth was still in the back seat. Every so often their eyes would meet and Seth would grin at him before flicking over towards Trey; he’d then duck his head and turn to look out the back window resolutely not meeting Ryan’s eyes in the mirror.

 

Ryan would then turn to Trey to find his brother looking oddly at him.

 

“So, Ry. What do you do for fun ‘round here?” Trey asked suddenly, breaking the tension that was filling the inside of the Rover.

 

Ryan shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know. Hang out at the pier. Sail,” he met Seth’s eyes in the mirror and smiled.

 

“Sail?” Trey mocked incredulously and Ryan watched as Seth turned to look back out the window. “You have got to be kidding.”

 

Ryan looked over at Trey and frowned. “Huh-uh. In fact, my first day here, Seth took me out in his sailboat. It was actually kind of fun.”

 

“Catamaran,” Seth corrected softly.

 

“Huh?” Trey asked, turning around and staring coolly at Seth.

 

“It’s not a sailboat, it’s a catamaran,” Seth repeated, catching Ryan’s eye in the mirror.

 

“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” Ryan replied.

 

“Whatever,” Trey mumbled, turning back around in the front seat.

 

Ryan silently apologized for his brother as he glanced at Seth again in the mirror. He saw Seth shrug a shoulder and turn to look back out the window.

 

Ryan sighed. It was going to be a long few days. Especially if his brother and Seth were not going to get a long. It certainly wasn’t for lack of trying on Seth’s part. But the scene in the pool house that he and Sandy walked in on must have been the cause.

 

The rest of the trip was driven in silence.

 

* * * * *

 

The shopping trip had been a complete and total disaster. 

 

As they were leaving the shop, the manager had intercepted them, wanting to check Trey’s bag, accusing Trey of stealing a watch. 

 

Ryan stepped up between the manager and Trey, trying to calm his brother down. He patted his brother’s chest. “C’mon Trey, let’s just go.”

 

Trey immediately got in the manager’s face and refused to back down. “No, Ry! This jerk is accusing me of stealing that damned watch. I don’t see anyone else being hassled.”

 

The manager brought a walkie-talkie to his mouth. “Send someone to the front entrance.”

 

“You know what?” Trey yelled. “Don’t bother. Cuz I paid for all of this.” Trey upended the bag and dumped the contents out on the floor.

 

Ryan tried to grab Trey’s arm but Trey jerked his arm free. “C’mon. C’mon,” Ryan tried to soothe but was getting nowhere. He then encircled Trey around the waist, trying to drag Trey bodily out of the store, but this seemed to set Trey off more. Using the leverage of Ryan’s arms about his waist, Trey pushed off Ryan and kicked a clothes rack over. 

 

Trey stepped up to the manager and stared at him for a moment longer, daring him to say or do anything. 

 

Wisely, the gentleman remained quiet.

 

Trey backed out of the store, concerned eyes of his brother following him out.

 

Trey’s behavior had always embarrassed Ryan in the past. He may have grown up in Chino, but Ryan had never really been that kind of person. Sure, when he had hung with Trey in the past, he would try to emulate his big brother, but it was usually half-hearted at best, meant only to impress Trey. 

 

And watching his brother react so strongly; Ryan was more torn than ever. 

 

He wanted nothing more for things to work out for Trey, but his brother was as volatile as ever.

 

They walked to the Rover in silence, Ryan making sure to stay between his brother and Seth. He kept looking between the two… sadness that his brother hadn’t changed in the two years he was in prison and concern for Seth.

 

There was real fear in Seth’s eyes when he watched Trey lose control. Fear that Ryan had never seen in Seth’s eyes before. It was something that he never wanted to see again.

 

He decided that if Trey couldn’t reign in his temper any time soon, he was going to throw his brother out long before Trey had the chance to move out on his own.

 

After they arrived home, Trey went out by the pool with Sandy and Kirsten to look through the want ads while Ryan talked with Seth in the kitchen. He fixed himself a sandwich and went to sit at the end of the counter with Seth.

 

“If we hadn’t gotten Trey outta the store... I swear, he woulda taken the guy out,” Ryan said.

 

Seth had his chin on his palm and turned to Ryan. “Um, ye-ah. He’s definitely got some rage issues, dude. Like, ah, like Summer or…”

 

“He’s just got a lotta pride. You know?” Ryan defended hotly. “And a short fuse. When something sets him off, you can’t control him.” The surprised look on Seth’s face turned him instantly contrite. “Sorry.”

 

Seth wriggled nervously in his seat. “Well, um, it’s pretty, um… and he’s staying here.”

 

Ryan looked at Seth in concern, Seth’s sudden nervousness alarming him. “He won’t do anything to you, Seth. You’re safe.”

 

Seth whipped his head around and looked at Ryan. “I know that.” Seth bumped shoulders with Ryan and grinned. “Besides, if he tried, you’d kick his ass for me.”

 

Ryan smiled, but his eyes were very serious. “Yes. I would. I’d do a whole hell of a lot more than just kick his ass.” He looked out the door behind Seth and when he didn’t see anyone, he leaned over and pressed his lips against Seth’s a bit forcefully.

 

Seth groaned at the contact and immediately began sucking on Ryan’s top lip.

 

They pulled away at the same time a few minutes later, Seth wriggling in his seat again. This time for a completely different reason. Ryan, too, adjusted himself on his stool before taking a bite of his sandwich.

 

They grinned silently at each other, always enjoying the small, intimate, clandestine moments they stole throughout the day.

 

Finally, Seth asked, continuing their earlier conversation. “Are you gonna tell my parents?” 

 

“I can’t,” Ryan answered, shaking his head. “I know I should, but…”

 

They were interrupted when Kirsten came into the kitchen. “Oh hey, Ryan. I finally met your brother. He seems to be adjusting well.”

 

“Yes,” Seth confirmed in his traditional non non-sarcastic way. “Smooth sailing.”

 

Ryan kicked Seth under the counter and was impressed with Seth when he didn’t even flinch. Seth did turn slowly towards Ryan, however, narrowing his eyes and glaring at him. Ryan’s eyes widened at the silent promise of retribution.

 

He would definitely hear about this later; Ryan was positive.

 

* * * * *

 

He was right, of course. He did ‘hear’ about it later when he was in his temporary room getting ready for bed that night. He foolishly had his back to the door and was pealing off his tee shirt when he was jumped from behind and shoved face first on the bed. Seth pinned him down but Ryan didn’t really try to get away. 

 

Didn’t want to.

 

Seth was sitting on Ryan’s ass, pushing Ryan’s arms down on the bed. Ryan felt Seth’s weight lean over him as warm breath skimmed over his ear, making him tremble.

 

“You wanna tell me what was with the kicking? I have a bruise!”

 

Ryan shuddered as Seth’s breath whispered over his sensitized flesh. “Um, sorry?”

 

Suddenly the weight was gone and Ryan felt strangely bereft. He rolled over and found Seth standing by the bed with his hands on his hips.

 

“No you’re not,” Seth stated firmly, eyes narrowed into slits.

 

Seth clearly wasn’t as pissed off as his voice tried to sound and Seth was making a rather funny picture standing in the middle of the room trying to look angry, so Ryan did the only thing he could do… he laughed.

 

Seth’s eyebrows shot up. “You laugh? You laugh at me?” He bent over and raised a pant leg to show the bruise. “See? See the bruise?”

 

Ryan got off the bed and crouched down on his knees, squinting his eyes.

 

There was nothing there. 

 

Well, okay, upon further inspection, Ryan could see a small, a VERY small bluish bruise on Seth’s shin. But he had to get up close and personal with Seth’s leg just to see it.

 

“There’s nothing there,” Ryan replied, looking up at Seth.

 

“What?!” Seth’s eyes widened. He sat on the floor and stretched his leg out under Ryan’s nose, pointing at his shin. “That is not ‘nothing’. That is a bruise. A bruise that my friggin’… that you gave me! What’s up with that?”

 

Ryan noticed Seth’s verbal stumble, but let it go for now. 

 

He leaned down and kissed Seth’s shin. He looked up at Seth with a sarcastic grin. “Better?”

 

Seth nodded and stood up. “Yes, thank you.” 

 

Ryan’s eyes widened as Seth turned to leave.

 

“You’re going?”

 

“Yes. I am. I think that you need to learn your lesson. Pick on you man, no nookie for you.”

 

Ryan stood up too and pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. “Nookie?” Ryan’s eyebrows disappeared under his hair.

 

“Yes, nookie. As in making out. As in sex. As in no orgasm for you.”

 

Ryan shrugged. “Well, there’s always the old stand-by.” He raised his right hand and wriggled his fingers.

 

Seth’s brown eyes widened. “You wouldn’t.”

 

“Withhold sex from your man, he finds it elsewhere.”

 

Seth stalked over to stand in front of Ryan, chests pressed together. Seth was trying to use his three inch height difference to his advantage as he looked down at Ryan intimidatingly. Ryan merely rolled his eyes and arched an eyebrow, looking impassively up at Seth.

 

The staring contest lasted all of thirty seconds before Seth sagged and backed down. “Fine.” He tossed himself on the bed spread-eagled and looked down his body at Ryan. “Knock yourself out.”

 

Ryan laughed but didn’t need any further encouragement. He slowly crawled up Seth’s body, settling his hips perfectly over Seth’s. He trailed his tongue up Seth’s throat, nipping at Seth’s jaw before latching onto the soft, moist lips.

 

They kissed for several minutes before Ryan leaned back. “Am I forgiven?”

 

Seth raised heavy, drugged eyes up to Ryan’s. “Huh?”

 

Ryan smiled. “Nevermind.” He leaned down and resumed kissing Seth in earnest.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

After the first impression with Trey in the pool house on his first day with the Cohen’s and then watching Trey trashing a store, Seth wasn’t too sure about Ryan’s brother anymore. 

 

He certainly didn’t seem all that friendly. Least of all with Seth. 

 

Seth noted pretty quickly that Trey was nothing at all like Ryan when he had first arrived. Not that Ryan had been talkative or anything, but there had been a connection with Ryan that there definitely wasn’t with Trey. Seth tried not to think too much of it. Trey was older, after all. And he just got out of prison. Seth doubted that anyone would be overly talkative after getting out of jail after two years. 

 

But, it wasn’t really that that was making Seth so apprehensive. Trey… well, Trey kind of looked at him funny. He had been in their house for several days now and Seth still felt like a specimen under a microscope whenever Trey bothered to glance in his direction. Like he was being measured and found totally lacking. Which, in all honesty, shouldn’t have bothered Seth too much since he’d pretty much been found lacking by all of Newport his entire life.

 

Unable to keep his observations to himself, he brought it up to Ryan one day in his new room… the one next to Seth’s. And wasn’t that the best thing that could have happened from Trey’s arrival, Seth thought happily.

 

Flopping down on the bed, Seth threw an arm over his face. “Dude, I don’t think your brother likes me very much.”

 

Ryan had just gotten out of the shower and was toweling his hair. “What makes you say that?” 

 

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the way he looks at me like he’s scraped me off the bottom of his shoe… or something.”

 

Ryan laughed. “He’s probably just uncomfortable. I know I was when I first got here.”

 

“Yeah, I guess,” Seth mumbled unconvinced.

 

Ryan sat down on the bed next to Seth and leaned over, lightly kissing him. “Give him some time. He’ll come around.”

 

“Sure, okay,” Seth said noncommittally and completely unconvinced. But ignoring his feelings on Trey for the moment, Seth slipped his hand around Ryan’s skull, cradling the back of Ryan’s head and pulled him closer, grazing his lips over Ryan’s. He flicked a tongue out and met Ryan’s, savoring his favorite taste.

 

Seth shuddered as Ryan crawled up Seth’s body and lowered himself down on top of him. Seth moaned in Ryan’s mouth and wriggled his hips invitingly. He loved Ryan’s weight on him. It made him feel safe, somehow. Plus it was arousing as hell. And since Ryan had just gotten out of the shower, there were acres of damp skin just begging to be caressed and tasted.

 

Seth slid a hand to the small of Ryan’s back and pushed down, silently encouraging more of Ryan’s weight. The other hand was still lost in the wet, blond strands, directing his head right then left to where lips were needed most.

 

Their breaths became labored and groans issued from deep inside chests as they tasted each other as though it were the very first time. And with Trey still staying with them, it was the first time, in several days at least, that the boys had even a small amount of time alone. 

 

Seth curled a leg around Ryan’s thigh, arching his hips up into Ryan’s, seeking more contact.

 

“Hey, Ry, you got a sec…” Trey’s voice boomed in the room, freezing them in place. They turned around to face Trey’s surprised wide eyes. “Um, I...” Trey finally said. “I, uh, I’ll come back later.” Trey turned and left, leaving two very flustered boys behind.

 

Seth groaned and blindly reached for a pillow, pressing the pillow and both arms over his face, trying to smother himself. “Oh god. Kill me now.” He peered one eye from under the pillow and between his arms, staring balefully at Ryan who had sat up, kneeling between Seth’s still spread legs. “Well, if he didn’t hate me before, I’m sure he does now.”

 

“He doesn’t hate you, Seth,” Ryan reassured, leaning over and quickly kissing the visible portion of Seth’s mouth. 

 

Seth removed his arms and threw the pillow at Ryan, sitting up and glaring at Ryan. “Dude! I’ve turned his brother gay! I’m sure that’s like a big fat no-no in the Chino’s Big Brothers Guide Book for Little Brothers… or whatever.”

 

Ryan smiled, but his face was almost as pale as Seth’s.

 

“Seth.” Ryan tenderly ran his fingers through Seth’s hair. “Even if he hated you,” Seth groaned and tried to cover his eyes, which Ryan wouldn’t let him. “Even if he hated you,” he reiterated. “It wouldn’t matter. It sure as hell wouldn’t change how I feel about you.”

 

“But he’s your brother, man.”

 

“So?” Ryan shrugged. “You’re my… you’re my boyfriend and I love you and if Trey can’t handle that, then that’s his problem.”

 

Seth beamed at Ryan, teeth gleaming brightly. “Boyfriend?”

 

“Yeah. That a problem?” Ryan narrowed his eyes mock-anger.

 

Seth launched himself at Ryan and pinned him to the bed, sucking Ryan’s tongue into his mouth. After several minutes, he pulled back panting. “Uh, no. That would be a ‘no’. Totally not a problem.”

 

Ryan smiled and pulled Seth back down to resume their kiss. “Good.”

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

They made out in Ryan’s room for a while longer; Ryan trying to reassure Seth that no matter what, he was going to be with Seth whether his brother liked it or not.

 

But he also knew that he would have to talk to Trey about what he’d walked in on. It wasn’t a conversation that he was looking forward to, but it had to be done.

 

He left Seth dozing on his bed and went downstairs in search of his brother. Trey was sitting on the couch in the living room, idly flipping through the channels on television.

 

Ryan came in and sat on the arm of the sofa, looking at his brother’s profile.

 

“We need to talk,” Ryan stated, waiting for Trey’s reaction.

 

Trey turned his head and merely nodded. “Yeah, I guess we do.” He tossed the remote on a cushion and stood up, following Ryan out of the house.

 

Ryan led Trey down the path to the beach neither saying a word.

 

When they got down to the beach, the sun was getting closer to the horizon. Ryan made his way over to the rocks on the other side of the catamarans that sat on the sand. He climbed a few and sat down silently waiting for Trey to do or say something. 

 

Trey had followed Ryan to the rocks, but didn’t follow him up. He stood at the foot of one rock and looked up at his brother. 

 

“So, uh…”

 

Ryan just looked at him, waiting.

 

Trey shook his head slightly and turned partially around to look at the water. “What happened to you, man?”

 

He turned back around and looked at Ryan in confusion. There wasn’t any incrimination, more like resignation and a whole hellova lot of shock. “I mean, Ry…”

 

“I fell in love,” Ryan confessed quietly. 

 

Trey half laughed and closed his eyes, shaking his head again. “What? Wait, you what?”

 

Ryan merely looked Trey in the eye, silently repeating his answer.

 

Realization dawned on Trey and he shook his head. “You’re serious.”

 

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

 

Trey sat, well, more like fell on the rock below Ryan and faced the ocean. “Wow.”

 

Ryan slowly climbed down the rocks and sat next to his brother, also looking out at the water. “You okay?”

 

Trey nodded. “Yeah. I just can’t believe that… well, you… with a guy. That’s, uh… completely unexpected.”

 

Ryan snorted. “Yeah, it was for me, too.”

 

Trey turned to Ryan and curved his lips in a half-smile. “Huhn. But he’s… he’s…”

 

“What?” Ryan narrowed his eyes.

 

“He’s such a geek, man. I mean, those were the guys we used to go after in Chino. And now you’re not only friends with one, but you’re ‘with’ one?”

 

Ryan glared at his brother. “Watch it with the geek remark.”

 

Trey raised his hands defensively. “Sorry, man. But you know what I mean.” 

 

Ryan sighed as he remembered Trey and him doing to some of the kids at Chino High what Luke and his buddies used to do to Seth. He shook his head not wanting to remember that he had been a little too much like Luke back then. “Yeah, I remember,” Ryan muttered.

 

Trey ran his hands over his face, rubbing hard. He turned to Ryan and stared in his eyes; really looking at him. After a moment Trey said, “This place really did change you, little brother.”

 

“Yeah, it did. Seth did,” Ryan emphasized.

 

“What is it about that kid? I mean, he talks… a lot. He’s nothing like you.” Trey asked, genuinely interested.

 

Ryan’s eyes softened and his anger faded. “Yeah, no, I know.” Ryan sighed. “Seth’s not what he appears to be.” Trey arched an eyebrow and Ryan amended. “Okay, well, he can be pretty geeky. It’s just…” He became serious again. “No one really gets him. Everyone usually takes him at face value and doesn’t bother seeing what’s inside.”

 

Trey’s eyes shown with respect. “Kinda like us, huh?”

 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

 

Trey nodded. “I suppose I’ve been kinda guilty of that myself.”

 

Ryan smiled. “Yeah, he did mention something about that.”

 

“I’m sorry, Ry. I guess I just saw how you were with him and got kinda jealous. I mean, you’ve already got me for a brother; I was kinda thinking you’d replaced me.”

 

Ryan grinned and slapped Trey on the back. “Not gonna happen, man.”

 

Trey’s smile became cocky. “Well, after that,” he gestured towards the house, “I should hope you don’t have brotherly feelings for him.”

 

Ryan shuddered and smacked Trey on the arm. “Trey, you are seriously sick.”

 

Trey just laughed.

 

The sun set as they watched in silence. As the last sliver of orange disappeared, Trey stood up, brushing the sand from his jeans. He turned to Ryan as he got up, too. “Are you happy?”

 

Ryan knew that he was talking about him and Seth as well as his new life in Newport. He nodded. “Yeah. I am.” Trey nodded as well and the two brothers made their way up the path back to the house.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

Things had changed between him and Trey after the little Bursting In The Room Incident. He had to admit that he was shocked how well Trey took the news. He was certain that Trey had some covert Kick Seth’s Ass For Turning My Brother Gay Plan up his sleeve. But… nothing. In fact, just the opposite happened. Trey started talking to Seth. Not like sitting-down-and-having-a-conversation kind of talk. But he wasn’t unfriendly anymore either. It made Seth more comfortable. And with Seth’s comfort level going up, his talking ratio went up, too. Much to the consternation of everyone in the house. But it was with this babble that Seth was trying to bridge a new gap that had started between Ryan and his brother. 

 

All had definitely not been easy since Trey came to live in Newport. 

 

There had been The Shopping Incident: Yes, that was the destruction of the store on Trey’s first day in Newport.

 

Then there had been the Watch Incident: Ryan had gone to see his brother after a particularly tense day. Ryan had still been upset at Trey after the Shopping Incident and refused to help him find a job. He went to talk to his brother and offered to take him out to dinner. Ryan was teasing Trey about his messy room when he found the same watch that the manager of the shop accused Trey of stealing a week before. Ryan immediately assumed that his brother stole the watch. Unfortunately for Ryan, Trey hadn’t stolen the watch… he had bought it for Ryan as a ‘thank you’ gift. And yes, there had been a receipt.

 

And, of course, The Bursting In The Room Incident: Please see above.

 

And, then, there was the latest – The Back Alley/Birthday Incident: Seth was going to go pick up dinner and Seth had talked Ryan into coming along and stopping by Trey’s (which was close to the Thai place) to wish him a happy birthday. They arrived just in time to see Trey getting into a car and then driving off to meet a guy in a back alley. To anyone, and Ryan and Seth were no exception, it looked as though Trey were buying drugs. When confronted, Ryan found out that Trey had gone with his parole officer and loaned some money to a prison buddy that needed the cash. 

 

Those cases, of course, created animosity between the two Atwoods. One minute they were best friends, the next they weren’t speaking. 

 

If that was what it was like to have a brother, Seth was very glad he was an only child. He couldn’t take the strain.

 

As it was, the brothers were in an ‘in-between period’ and Seth hoped that it would resolve quickly. 

 

Ryan did feel bad about mistrusting his brother and finally allowed Seth, with the help of Marissa, to throw Trey a small birthday party at the Nichol’s mansion.

 

Of course no Newport party can take place without something going wrong, so Seth had waited all night with bated breath.

 

It certainly wasn’t long in coming. 

 

The small party became a Harbor High social. He was sure most everyone from school was there. Including, unfortunately, the water polo team. And, of course, he would just have to run into them. 

 

Seth had been wandering around down by the pool, looking for Ryan, when he accidentally bumped into a water polo guy as he was chugging a beer. 

 

“Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt your drinking. I’ll just, um…” He pointed behind him, gesturing his retreat.

 

The water polo jerk whirled around and tossed his empty cup. “You talking to me, geek?” Three other water polo buddies started shoulder-slamming Seth.

 

“Oh, uh, I think, uh, you know, the kicking the comic-book guy’s ass… we’re probably passed it…” But whatever else he was going to say was blocked by a very large hand wrapping around his neck, choking him.

 

Why oh why do I do things like this, he thought as his air was being cut off.

 

Then just as suddenly, the hand was gone and the water polo jock who had been choking him was on the ground, Trey’s knee on his chest and Trey’s hand wrapped around the idiot’s throat.

 

The cockiness was gone, quickly replace by fear. “Stop it, man. I got a game tomorrow!”

 

“Yeah?” Trey answered softly and menacingly, tightening his hold and leaning forward. “Then I suggest you go home and get some sleep.” When Trey released his hold, Seth couldn’t resist kicking the guy as he was scrambling to stand up. Seth and Trey watching the water polo team leave the party. 

 

Trey brought a hand up to Seth’s nape and pulled him away from the scene. Seth looked at Trey, impressed. “Wow.”

 

“You okay?” Trey asked. 

 

“Thanks, dude.” Seth patted Trey’s chest. “Déjà vu. O.C. party. Attacked by water polo guys. Saved by an Atwood.” 

 

Trey smiled at Seth. “Yeah, Ryan told me about his first night in Newport.”

 

Seth grinned. “Yeah. Kicked some water polo ass, too. Must run in the family.”

 

Trey laughed and swatted Seth on the chest. “You ever think about self-defense?”

 

Seth doubled over slightly, clutching his chest. “I’m, uh, more of a talker than a fighter.”

 

Trey crooked his lips. “This is true.”

 

“Hey!” Seth exclaimed in mock-irritation. “Yeah, well. Okay, you’re right.”

 

Trey threw his arm around Seth’s neck, knuckles rasping hard on Seth’s skull. “C’mon. Let’s go find my brother.”

 

They only got a few feet when a girl sauntered up to Trey. 

 

“Hello,” Seth said.

 

She stood in front of Trey totally flaunting herself at him while resolutely ignoring Seth. She slid up to Trey, dislodging Trey’s arm from around Seth’s shoulder.

 

“Those were some pretty nice moves,” the girl said seductively, more lust than admiration shining in her eyes.

 

Seth looked between the chick and Trey and grinned knowingly. “Okay, I’ll, uh, just go.” He turned to go and Trey patted him on the back reassuringly as he left.

 

Seth continued to look for Ryan and made sure he watched where he was going… he didn’t want a repeat with the water polo jocks. The pool area was crowded and the inside of the house was no better. It was standing room only in the living room and kitchen. 

 

Seth strolled down the hallways and peeked in a room. His eyes widened when he caught sight of a guy and two girls making out in the middle of the bed. He put a hand out placatingly. “Sorry! Sorry. I’m, uh, just looking for… Um, never mind. I’m gonna go now. Carry on.” He backed out of the room and gently closed the door.

 

He turned and found Ryan wandering around down another hallway and grinned with an idea. He stealthily snuck up behind Ryan and put his hands over Ryan’s eyes, pressing himself up against Ryan’s back. 

 

“Guess who?” Seth whispered, tongue flicking in his ear.

 

“Zach?”

 

Seth jumped back and glared at Ryan, who turned around laughing.

 

“Zach?” Seth arched an eyebrow.

 

“Well, since Luke’s in Portland, it could only be…”

 

“Luke?!” Seth’s eyes narrowed.

 

Ryan took a step towards Seth, blue eyes sparkling happily. “You were gonna be my third choice.”

 

Seth stepped back, keeping equal distance between them until he hit a wall and almost tipped a vase off its pedestal. He fumbled with the precious glass before righting it and the stand, carefully sliding it aside so he wouldn’t bump it again.

 

Ryan crowded close, body flushed with Seth’s and Seth turned gleaming brown eyes towards Ryan. “Third choice, huh?”

 

Ryan shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah, well, you know how it is. I’m just spoiled for choice.”

 

“You’re a dick, is what you are,” Seth commented as Ryan leaned forward to nuzzle against his throat. Seth moaned deep in his chest as Ryan bit lightly on his neck. 

 

After a few moments, Seth looked up when he heard giggling coming closer. He froze when he saw a guy and girl move down a hallway that “T” crossed the one he and Ryan were at the end of. Thankfully the couple continued on their way down their own hallway, leaving Seth and Ryan alone. 

 

With more restraint than he even thought he possessed, especially with Ryan pressed up against him so enticingly, Seth pushed Ryan away. Ryan looked at him with heavy, questioning eyes. 

 

“Do you really want to come out at your brother’s birthday party?” Seth asked.

 

Ryan took a step back and frowned. “I wouldn’t care.”

 

Seth arched an eyebrow, shocked at Ryan’s answer. “Are you serious?”

 

Ryan ran a couple fingers down Seth’s jaw and looked him straight in the eye. “Yeah, I am.”

 

Seth blinked at Ryan before a ginormous smile blossomed on his face and he leaned forward, cupping Ryan’s jaw in both hands and capturing Ryan’s lips with his own. “I love you, you know that?”

 

Ryan gave a matching grin and kissed Seth back with equal force. “Yeah, I do,” Ryan mouthed against Seth’s lips.

 

Smiling, Seth reeled Ryan in as he leaned back up against the wall. He moaned deep in his chest when he felt a strong thigh insert itself between his legs and push—hard. Seth sucked mercilessly on Ryan’s tongue, shivering as Ryan’s moan reverberated through his mouth.

 

Seth smoothed his hands down Ryan’s side, fingers grasping the belt loops on Ryan’s jeans. Gripping the loops more firmly, Seth yanked Ryan’s hips closer, causing their chests to bump into each other and Ryan’s thigh to rub torturously hard against his throbbing cock.

 

Seth tore his mouth away from Ryan’s lips, tilting his head back against the wall. “Oh god, Ryan… yes!” 

 

He pressed down on Ryan’s thigh, needing more… now! He could feel Ryan’s hardness on his own thigh, rubbing in slow, sensuous circles as his neck was being devoured by Ryan’s hot tongue. Ryan started a rhythm that stoked the fire raging inside of Seth. He was so close, but yet…

 

“Ry…” Seth whispered, feeling the all too familiar tingle start at the base of his spine. It spread out through his gut, making him shudder with anticipation. “Ryan… please.”

 

Seth felt the vibrations of Ryan’s moan through the skin on his throat and his head fell back to the side. He thrust harder now; an urgency he’d never felt before consuming him. Ryan moved from his neck, causing Seth to moan at the loss. But when Ryan’s dark blue eyes connected with Seth’s, he completely lost it and exploded against Ryan, stars sparkling behind now tightly closed eyelids. The stars could also have been because Seth slammed his head against the wall when he came, but he honestly couldn’t care at that moment, only luxuriating in the sated feeling running through his body.

 

After a few minutes, he rolled his head against the wall and met Ryan’s equally satisfied gaze.

 

“Wow,” Seth murmured. “That was…” He looked at Ryan’s sleepy eyes and grinned. “That was freaking awesome!”

 

“Yeah, it was,” Ryan agreed, smiling softly, body still pressed firmly against Seth’s, pinning him against the wall. Ryan leaned forward and buried his face in the curve where shoulder meets neck and flicked out a tongue to taste the damp skin.

 

Seth shuddered and brought a hand up to cup Ryan’s head, never wanting to move again.

 

Suddenly a scream broke them apart and they ran to the back door, looking out at the throngs of students milling around the pool. Seth had a clearer view of the pool and gasped as he saw someone floating face down. Breaking away from Ryan, Seth jumped into the pool and dragged the girl to the side… to a waiting Ryan who was kneeling down next to the edge to help pull her out.

 

When he flipped her over, Seth recognized her as the girl who was throwing herself at Trey a few moments earlier. He briefly looked around for Trey, wondering if he would know anything about her or what might have happened to her, before turning his full attention back to the girl.

 

The rest of the night pretty much went to hell after that when the cops showed up. They were ready to take Marissa to jail (since she was technically the owner of the house that night since her mom and Seth’s grandfather were not home) when, surprisingly to both Seth and Ryan, Trey spoke up and admitted to giving the girl in the pool drugs. 

 

The cops immediately took Trey into custody instead. 

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

Trey had once again come to live in the Cohen household while Sandy tried his damnedest to clear Trey’s name.

 

Ryan was certain that Trey had nothing to do with the girl in the pool and did everything he could to clear his brother. Seth, of course, was right there, willing to help Ryan help his brother. They had been assisted by Summer and Marissa, of all people. But they somehow managed to do it.

 

Turned out that it was pool-girl’s (apparently her name was Jess) boyfriend who drugged the hell out of her at Trey’s birthday party.

 

Some boyfriend.

 

But they were able to clear Trey’s name and Trey was able to move out of the Cohen’s and into his own place: Alex’s old apartment of all places.

 

It was a few weeks later, with Trey safely settled into his new apartment and everything seemingly back to what amounted to normal in Newport, when Kirsten came home from work with a big grin on her face.

 

“Let me guess,” Sandy asked as he was dishing up tonight’s dinner of Thai. “The Newport Group got another big contract at the expense of the city… again?”

 

“Probably,” Seth agreed with his father, who nodded at his son. 

 

Kirsten ignored both husband and son and turned to Ryan. “The Newport Group is having an architectural retreat next week and I want you to come,” she said, grinning at Ryan excitedly.

 

With rad na half way to his lips, Ryan froze and blinked at Kirsten. “Me?”

 

“Yes, you. I think you could learn a lot from the retreat and it’ll be fun. We’ll see a lot of the new architectural designs that are up and coming and…”

 

“What about Caleb?”

 

“What about him?” Kirsten asked dismissively. “It’s doubtful that he’ll even be there. I think Julie’s got him halfway convinced to go to Paris or Rome or somewhere again. But… if he is there, he’ll be much too busy – I’ll see to that; plus, I think you’ll have a great time.”

 

“That’s during spring break, isn’t it?” Seth piped up frowning slightly.

 

“Yes it is. It’d be a perfect time. What do you think?”

 

Ryan flicked his eyes over to Seth who didn’t seem to be too bothered by the prospect of Ryan being gone for a week, but not particularly too happy either. “Can I think about it?”

 

“Sure, honey. Let me know whenever.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

The rest of the dinner was fairly typically with the exception of Seth who was more quiet than normal.

 

Ryan and Seth had gone out to the pool house once dinner and the dishes were finished. Ryan had closed and locked the door, turning to Seth who perched on the foot of the bed, tossing a game controller between both hands. “Okay, what’s wrong?”

 

Seth looked up at Ryan surprised. “Nothing’s wrong.”

 

“You’ve been too quiet.”

 

Seth smirked but said nothing, dropping the controller to the ground.

 

“Well?” Ryan asked impatiently. He had never liked a quiet Seth. It always unnerved him.

 

Seth blinked and looked away. “I was kinda hoping we could do something together for spring break.”

 

Ryan moved to sit next to Seth. “Like what?”

 

Seth shrugged. “I don’t know.”

 

Ryan bumped shoulders with Seth. “If you don’t want me to go, just say so.”

 

“No!” Seth almost shouted, looking over at Ryan. “Actually, I think you should go.”

 

“Really,” Ryan said unconvinced by Seth’s tone.

 

“Yeah. This way you can learn all the stuff you need to to take over the family business so I don’t have to.”

 

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Seth.”

 

“Seriously?” Ryan nodded. “I think you should go.”

 

“Yeah?” Ryan asked tentatively.

 

“Yeah,” Seth answered, leaning over to kiss Ryan gently.

 

Ryan pulled back and looked at Seth skeptically. “And what will you do while I’m gone?”

 

Seth shrugged and lay back, spreading his arms out to his sides. “Oh, I don’t know. Work on my novel?” Ryan snorted and leaned back onto one of Seth’s arms. “Work on the comic book?”

 

“Sit around and play video games all day long?”

 

Seth grinned and turned his head to Ryan. “Sit around and play video games all day long.”

 

“That’s what I thought.” Ryan rolled over and hovered over Seth’s body. “You really don’t mind?”

 

Seth’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled. “No. I don’t mind. Yeah, I woulda liked to have had you all to myself during spring break, but I’ll survive. I guess.”

 

“I’m sure you will,” Ryan murmured as he slowly lowered himself down on Seth. He flicked out a tongue and slowly drew it up from Seth’s collarbone to his ear, latching onto an earlobe and sucking quietly.

 

Seth slid his arms around Ryan’s back, one hand straying down to grab Ryan’s ass, the other slipping up to cup his skull. “Keep that up,” Seth muttered softly, “and you’re not going anywhere.”

 

Ryan didn’t stop.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

Spring break arrived. And what would have normally been a fun-filled week of slothdom with Ryan started out as a fairly busy week with quality father/son time with The Dad.

 

Ryan and his mom left early Sunday morning much to the consternation of a grumpy Seth who hated mornings with a passion. And to make matters worse, Sandy had decided to drag Seth out with him to catch the morning surf. It had been a long time since Seth had accompanied his dad out for a few waves but once out there, Seth had realized that he had missed this time with his dad.

 

They used to do it every weekend when Seth was younger, but Seth had become a teenager and with that age came the knowledge that hanging out with your dad was so uncool. Seth had preferred video games to surfboarding; hanging out alone rather than hanging out with the old man.

 

After spending another morning surfing with his dad Tuesday morning, Seth begged out of quality lunchtime with Sandy to board down to Trey’s apartment. It was something that he had promised Ryan he would do while Ryan and his mom were out of town. 

 

Knocking on the door, Seth took a step back when Trey came to the door wrapped in a sheet.

 

“Oh! Hey, sorry, man. Did I catch you at a bad time?” Seth grinned, wriggling his eyebrows comically.

 

Trey smiled. “Seth! What’s up? Ryan abandon you during spring break, huh?”

 

“Yeah, dude. Just wanted to come by… see how you were… let you know that while he’s gone, I’m here.”

 

“Cool,” Trey said. “But, you know, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

 

“No way, dude! I want to. Besides, you’re Ryan’s brother, so that makes you kinda like my brother, brother-in-law, whatever and brothers check up on each other… don’t they? I mean, I guess they do. It’s not like I’ve got, like, tons of experience with that, being an only child and everything, but… You know.” He shrugged and smiled.

 

Trey grinned back. “Yeah.”

 

“Hey! And I thought that maybe tomorrow, we could go job hunting. You know, if you’re still looking. If you want to. Cuz no pressure or anything.”

 

“That sounds great. You know with Ryan gone, I thought I would be all alone in Newport.”

 

“No way, dude. Not on my watch.” Seth was bouncing on the balls of his feet. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

“Can’t wait.”

 

“Awesome!” Seth turned to leave, waving as he walked away.

 

Seth grinned as he dropped his skateboard and started down the boardwalk. At least he wouldn’t be bored with Ryan gone. He’d be able to hang out with Trey… maybe get to know him a bit better. Since they were practically in-laws… or something. Seth snorted.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth made it to Trey’s early the next afternoon.

 

“Dude! You ready?”

 

“Yeah,” Trey said, locking the door behind them. “You got some place in mind?”

 

“Yep, sure do,” Seth grinned knowingly. “Perfect place for you.”

 

They walked down to the pier and Seth led Trey to The Bait Shop. 

 

“A fish store?” Trey asked skeptically.

 

Seth chuckled. “No, man, it’s a nightclub!”

 

Trey laughed. “Now that’s more like it!”

 

“I’ll wait for you out here,” Seth gestured at the railing of the pier.

 

“Okay, man. Thanks a lot.”

 

A half an hour later, Trey came out with a smile. 

 

“Dude! How’d it go?”

 

Trey strolled up to Seth. “My dream’s come true. I’m cleaning toilets.” He held up a Bait Shop t-shirt.

 

Seth grinned. “You got the job?”

 

“I start tomorrow.”

 

“Dude!” Seth grabbed Trey’s arms with both hands before quickly releasing him and stepping back embarrassed. Instead, Seth leaned in and slapped Trey’s back. “That’s, like, totally awesome!” 

 

“Thanks, man. I really appreciate this.” Trey leaned in and gave Seth a one-armed hug.

 

“Hey, no problem.” 

 

Trey pulled back from the hug and looked at Seth. “Uh, so, uh, we gotta celebrate… tonight, okay? I will make margaritas.”

 

Seth eyes lit up. “Um, I’ll bring the guacamole.”

 

“Sounds like a party.”

 

Seth grinned. “Excellent.”

 

“But, uh, I gotta stay here and fill out some paperwork, so I’ll see you tonight?”

 

“Definitely.”

 

“And, hey, thanks.” Trey patted Seth’s arm. “Feel like my life’s coming together.”

 

“Dude! I’m happy to help. So, I’ll see you later!”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Seth left feeling like he’d accomplished something good. He was helping out Ryan’s brother and, hopefully, helping get his life together, like he said. 

 

It would be awesome if Trey could get his life together. Seth knew that Ryan was really worried about that. Trey had just spent almost two years in jail and he was sure that Ryan wanted this to work out… for the both of them. Ryan had been lucky with the Cohens. And maybe both Atwoods could be lucky with the Cohens.

 

Seth smiled at the thought of Ryan. 

 

Half way home he stopped and sat on the low wall along the boardwalk, pulling out his cell phone. He’d gone an entire twenty-four hours without talking to Ryan and he was lonely. Just as he was about to flip the phone open, it rang. He looked at the number and smiled.

 

“Hey, sexy, I was just about to call you!”

 

“Sexy, huh?” Ryan purred over the line.

 

“Some people think so,” Seth grinned and felt himself blush, thanking whatever god who watched over teenaged boys that Ryan couldn’t see him.

 

“They do, huh?”

 

“Well, one person does.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Seth whispered low, voice becoming husky.

 

“And who would that one person be?” Ryan asked softly.

 

“Zach,” Seth answered, mirth coloring his voice.

 

“Seth,” Ryan warned voice equally low and gravelly.

 

“Okay, it’s Luke.”

 

“Seth!” Ryan exclaimed, but there was laughter in his voice. It made Seth want to crawl through the phone just to get to Ryan.

 

There were a few moments of dead air before Seth breathed, “I miss you.”

 

“Me, too.”

 

Seth frowned. Usually Ryan would have no problem saying the words to him, albeit with a blush, but he usually said them nonetheless. Until it dawned on him, “Mom with you?”

 

“She is now. You want to talk to her?”

 

“Not re— Mom! Hi! How are you?”

 

“Fine, sweetie. How are you?”

 

“Oh good. Just hanging out at the pier. You know, stuff like that.”

 

“You and Dad staying out of trouble?”

 

“Of course not,” Seth smiled. “Foolish woman.”

 

“I’m not surprised. Keep him away from the karaoke bars.” There was a pause and then Seth heard someone call for his mom. “Oh! Gotta run, sweetie. See you in a few days.”

 

“’Kay, Mom. Bye.” There were some sounds of shuffling. “Ryan?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Are you having fun?”

 

“Actually, I am.” 

 

Seth grinned. It sounded like Ryan really was have a good time. He couldn’t remember the last time he heard that much happiness in Ryan’s voice. But then again, and he hoped at least this part was true, maybe it was also because Ryan was in love.

 

God! And could he get any mintier? 

 

At any rate, Seth kinda figured Ryan would enjoy his time with The Newport Group. Ryan had told Kirsten he was interested in architecture since his first week with the Cohen. Something that Kirsten loved the moment she found out. Sometimes the two couldn’t stop talking about Kirsten’s latest project. To the point that Sandy and Seth would just leave the room, letting the two of them talk shop.

 

“Me, too,” Seth replied, shaking himself from his thoughts.

 

“Yeah?” Ryan questioned. “Without me?”

 

“Yes, without you. I am capable of surviving without you, you know. Though I would prefer not to.”

 

“I should hope not,” Ryan growled.

 

“Actually, I was going over to Trey’s to celebrate tonight. He got a job.”

 

“Really? That’s awesome!”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Where?”

 

“He got my old job…”

 

“At The Bait Shop?” Ryan interrupted.

 

“Yep. Cleaning toilets. Ah, those were the days.” Seth heard Ryan chuckle over the line.

 

Another minute of silence stretched over the open phone line, each listening to the other breath.

 

Finally, Ryan murmured, “Actually, I’m a… kinda wishin’ I was at home right now.”

 

“I thought you were having fun?”

 

“I am, but…”

 

“Yeah,” Seth smiled shyly and grasped the phone a bit tighter. “I’m kinda wishin’ that, too.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

There was another few seconds of silence before Ryan spoke up.

 

“Stay outta trouble,” Ryan warned jokingly.

 

“If I must,” Seth sighed dramatically.

 

“You must… at least until I get home,” Ryan murmured.

 

“Can’t wait.”

 

“Me, too.”

 

“See ya Saturday.”

 

“’Kay.”

 

Seth looked around to make sure no one was close enough to hear, though he knew he was totally alone. He muttered, “Love you.”

 

He could hear Ryan smile on the other end of the phone. “Me, too,” Ryan replied softly.

 

“Bye.”

 

“Bye.”

 

Seth quickly flipped the phone closed to keep himself from staying on the line and listening to Ryan breath like some love-sick girl. Not that they hadn’t been doing just that a few seconds ago. 

 

He laughed at himself and shook his head, shoving the phone back into his pocket. He had to get home and see if they had any guacamole in the fridge. If not, he had some shopping to do before ‘the party’.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth bounded up to Trey’s front door, guacamole in hand and pack on his back. He knocked loudly as he bounced on the balls of his feet.

 

“Hey!” Trey exclaimed as he opened the door. “Right on time.”

 

Seth held out his arms. “Fresh batch of guac. Let the party begin!”

 

Trey grinned and ushered Seth in, closing the door behind him.

 

Seth settled on the couch and placed the bowl on the coffee table as Trey went into the kitchen. He removed his backpack and put it on the floor, unzipping the pack.

 

“I figured you’ve been out of the loop for awhile and needed to catch up on your movies,” Seth said waving a couple of DVDs in his hand.

 

Trey came back into the living room with a blender filled with margarita.

 

“Margaritas and movies,” he said pointing to the pitcher. “Sure. Whaddya got?” He sat on a footstool, holding the blender container on his knee.

 

Seth clutched a DVD to his chest. “It’s probably the best sequel of all time… X-men 2.”

 

“You know, I’m kinda more a shoot ‘em up, type guy.” He scratched his cheek, looking warily at Seth. “Where people, like, die.”

 

“Well, Jean Grey doesn’t fair too well.”

 

“’Kay. If you say it’s a good movie. I’m in.” Trey reached out for a plastic cup, filling it with the drink from the blender and handed it to Seth. “A toast. To you. Thank you.”

 

“To me?” Seth quipped. “I like that toast!” He leaned forward and clicked cups with Trey.

 

After taking a large drink, Seth got up and put the movie in, curling up on one end of the couch. Trey went into the kitchen, refilling the blender container and brought it out to the living room. He settled on the other end of the sofa, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

 

* * * * *

 

Several margaritas and one highly vocal commentary review from Seth later, Trey and Seth were faced across from each other, coffee table between them.

 

Trey flicked a coin into a smaller plastic cup, the coin landing neatly inside.

 

“Oh!”

 

Seth shook his head in defeat. “Okay, dude. You are just way too good at this. Cuz I’ve lost, like, ten times in a row.” He pitched forward sluggishly and glared balefully at the quarter in the cup before leaning back and taking another gulp of his drink.

 

“Yeah, well.” Trey began after taking a drink from his cup. “I was all Chino… in drinking.” He tilted the cup Seth’s way.

 

“Heh, I’m not even close to being all Newport. That’s more Marissa’s style.” Seth laughed at his own joke. Listing forward over the table, Seth stated as matter-of-factly as any drunk could state. “Clearly, you are in a league of you own, cuz, um… wow!” Pushing his feet under the table to steady himself, Seth slid up the cushion behind him and sat on the sofa.

 

“You got another movie?” Trey asked, getting up and plopping down next to Seth, laying an arm on the back of the couch behind Seth’s head.

 

“I think so,” Seth said, leaning over Trey’s legs to grab his pack. “Sorry, man,” Seth muttered, pushing off of Trey’s thighs and sitting back unsteadily. “Whoa.”

 

Trey looked at Seth in concern. “You okay?”

 

Seth grinned drunkenly over at Trey. “Yeah, man. Just a little dizzy.”

 

“You know,” Trey began. “Maybe we should get some air first.”

 

Seth blinked slowly. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I don’t want to fall asleep during the movie.” He pulled out Daredevil and waved it in front of Trey’s face. “It’s a crappy movie, but hilarious. Hilariously crappy. Heh.”

 

“Great!” Trey said.

 

“Aaaaand,” Seth nodded. “Elektra buys it. So, see? More death for you.”

 

He saw Trey smile as he got up, reaching a hand down to Seth. “Perfect. Let’s do it.”

 

Seth grabbed the hand and felt himself practically fly off the sofa and bounce off Trey’s chest. “Shit, man! You’re strong!”

 

Trey grinned and led the way to the door.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Seth laughed shuffle-staggering his way across the room. “I definitely need some air.”

 

He opened the door and was about to step out when Trey said, “Hey, you know what? I’ll be right there. I just need to grab my jacket.”

 

Seth raised a fist and tapped it unsteadily to Trey’s. “Oh, okay, dude.”

 

* * * * *

 

Seth and Trey walked down to the beach, laughing over a story Trey told Seth about Ryan when he had been younger.

 

“How you feelin’?” Trey suddenly asked as they got closer to the water.

 

“Better, thanks dude.”

 

Seth watched Trey look over the water and frowned. Trey seemed a bit ‘off’ since leaving the apartment and in Seth’s fuzzy mind, he couldn’t exactly place why.

 

“What a night!” Trey exclaimed. “I mean, look at this place.”

 

Seth’s eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah. It’s pretty great.”

 

“It’s amazing,” Trey shrugged his shoulder. “I gotta job. Great place. Great friend. Aaoooo!”

 

Seth staggered back in shock as Trey began howling. Trey laughed at him. “C’mon. C’mon, howl with me!”

 

Seth looked at Trey like he’d lost his mind, looking on in confused amusement. Trey turned to him. “C’MON!”

 

Seth smiled warily and howled, too. It was pretty pathetic by anyone’s standards, but he was drunk and Trey was acting very weird all of a sudden and making him feel a little uncomfortable.

 

“Dude, that was terrible,” Trey accused.

 

“What?” Seth excused. “I’m not one for the howling.”

 

“Oh no? You just need to be woken up.” And the next thing Seth knew, he was being tackled to the ground, cell phone flying out of his jacket pocket.

 

“Whoa, dude! What was that?”

 

Trey looked down at Seth, grinning a bit too menacingly for Seth’s taste. The look softened and Trey smiled. “You know. When I’m with you, I feel like I can do anything. And I’ve… I’ve never felt that way before.”

 

Seth smiled anxiously up at Trey, wriggling a bit in an attempt to slide out from under him. “Um…”

 

“You know,” Trey began, sitting up but not moving from atop of Seth. “We’re not so different, you and me.”

 

Seth swallowed hard and tried to smile reassuringly, fear starting to make him shake. “Hey, you know… I think maybe it’s time to go…” He sat up and tried to move backwards.

 

“Whoa, wait, wait,” Trey leaned forward and grasped Seth’s arms, pinning them to the sandy ground. “Where you going?”

 

“Trey,” Seth began, fear now coursing through his body.

 

“C’mon,” Trey bent down and whispered in Seth’s ear. “I’ve seen the way you look at me.” He kissed Seth’s jaw. “No one’s ever been this nice to me.”

 

Seth jerked his head back, trying to dislodge Trey. “Yeah, dude, because you’re, like, Ryan’s brother.”

 

“No. It is more than that.” Trey moved around to kiss behind Seth’s ear before lifting up and looking down at Seth. “And you know it. You’ve been so nice to me from the very beginning even when I wasn’t that nice to you. But I get it. You don’t want to hurt him.” Trey bent over again and whispered softly into Seth’s ear. “He wouldn’t even have to know.”

 

“Trey,” Seth started before Trey slid down his body, rubbing himself on Seth. “Trey, no! No! Wait! Trey!” Seth struggled, trying to find enough footing to get out from underneath him.

 

“What? Wait. Waitwaitwait. I’m not good enough? Is that it?” Trey demanded, glaring down at Seth.

 

“No! I don’t mean it like that, but Ryan…” Trey restarted his assault. “Let go!”

 

“Ryan, Ryan, Ryan,” Trey mocked. “Ryan gets all the good life, right? Huh?” He leaned down and pressed a punishing kiss on Seth’s lips. Seth tried to keep his mouth closed, pressing his lips together tightly, as he continued to shove Trey away and struggle against him, but the other man was stronger and relentless. Trey’s tongue pushed against Seth’s lips, forcing entrance and running all along Seth’s teeth, trying to press its way through the clenched barrier. But Seth whipped his head to the side, making any progress that much harder.

 

He wrestled backwards, trying in vain to break Trey’s grip.

 

“C’mon, c’mon,” Trey begged. “One night. No one needs to know.” Seth felt one of Trey’s hand slide down his body and roughly cup Seth’s crotch.

 

“Trey, get off me!” Seth yelled, pushing and straining against the abuse.

 

“Shh, shh,” Trey muttering in Seth’s neck as he continued kissing and rubbing himself on Seth.

 

“Trey, please, don’t do this!”

 

But whatever was going on with Trey, he was too far gone; he wasn’t listening anymore and pressed down harder and harder.

 

Seth fought against the attack, but couldn’t find any purchase in the sand. At least not enough to do any damage to Trey. As he was whipping his head around, he spotted a piece of driftwood a few feet away. Stretching out his arm, he grabbed the weapon and bashed Trey across the temple. Trey fell back and off, giving Seth enough time to twist around and take off down the beach.

 

Seth didn’t hear his cell phone go off behind him as he ran.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth spent the rest of the week in his room. He told his dad that he wasn’t feeling well and stayed in bed until late Saturday evening when his mom and Ryan were due to come home.

 

The few days since the attack, Seth had been plagued by phone calls from Trey. And each and every time Seth had hung up on him… in no mood to deal with Trey in any way. 

 

Trey had even had the audacity to come over with the pretense of returning his cell phone, but thankfully his dad actually thought that Seth was sick enough for him not to have visitors and was sent away without getting to see Seth.

 

He didn’t know what to do. While he hadn’t been raped, it certainly didn’t make him feel any less filthy. Trey’s weight on Seth’s body was still being felt several days later. No amount of scrubbing in the shower was able to make the feelings go away.

 

He wanted Ryan so bad right now. And speaking of Ryan…

 

One thing was certain after this whole incident… he sure as hell could NOT tell Ryan what had happened. Ryan was trying to rebuild a relationship with his brother and as much as Seth hated Trey right now, he wouldn’t deny Ryan his family. Trey was all Ryan had left… well, as far as blood relatives were concerned. It wouldn’t be fair to take that away from him. Besides, Seth was also afraid that Ryan would do something extremely rash and he didn’t want Ryan to end up where Trey had just come from… prison. 

 

So to keep the peace, Seth decided he would say nothing. Besides, nothing really happened anyway. Out of the two of them, Trey was the one with the head wound. Seth wasn’t injured, so… Well, physically anyway. Emotionally? He was still pretty freaked out. But he knew once he saw Ryan, everything would be all right.

 

The phone rang for the first time that day and Seth answered, hoping it was Ryan to tell him they were on their way.

 

It wasn’t.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Seth.” It was Trey. “Don’t hang up, okay?”

 

Seth’s smile disappeared. “Look, I told you to stop calling me.” He disconnected the call and threw the phone down on his bed.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

Ryan came up to Seth’s room around eight thirty Saturday night. He didn’t knock but crept into the room and slowly slid a hand down Seth’s arm as Seth sat at his computer desk going through email. The touch caused Seth to jump up and spin around so fast, his hand flew around and smacked Ryan in the jaw. Ryan staggered backwards, one hand raised defensively, the other rubbing the side of his face.

 

“Hey,” Ryan said softly, moving forward slowly. He had never seen Seth’s so fidgety before. “You okay? Sandy said you weren’t feeling well.”

 

A look of relief passed over his face and Seth launched himself into Ryan’s arms. “Oh god, I missed you.” 

 

Ryan frowned but wrapped his arms around Seth’s waist and held tight. “I missed you, too.” He then snuggled his face in his favored spot—the crook of Seth’s neck and kissed the thin skin where Seth’s heart beat.

 

He felt Seth shiver before he jerked back, dislodging Ryan. Ryan’s eyes narrowed as a look of fear flicked across Seth’s face before quickly being replaced by the famous Seth Cohen Grin. “Dude! You didn’t even shut the door.”

 

Ryan turned around and saw the door wide opened and blushed. “Oops.” He crossed the room and closed the door, snicking the lock in place for good measure. Turning around to lean on the door, Ryan asked, “Better?”

 

Seth smiled and nodded. “Much. Now, c’mere.”

 

Ryan stalked over to Seth, sliding his palms up Seth’s arms. Leaning forward, he inhaled deeply behind Seth’s ear, flicking a tongue out to taste. “I missed you.”

 

He felt Seth shudder and groan. “Me, too.”

 

Ryan feasted on Seth’s throat and jaw for a few moments before pulling back with a sigh. His eyebrows furrowed, however, when he noticed that Seth was staring off to the side, not even looking at him.

 

Ryan slid his hand up Seth’s cheek. “Hey?” Seth looked at him questioningly. “You okay?”

 

Seth gave Ryan a small smile. “Yeah. Sorry. Just tired.”

 

Ryan took Seth’s hand and pulled him over to the bed. “So, how was your week? Anything crazy happen while I was gone?”

 

Ryan felt Seth tense and squeeze his hand hard before he blinked several times, his face becoming unusually blank. “No. Pretty, typical. You?”

 

Ryan stretched out on the bed and dragged Seth up with him, re-lacing their fingers and holding Seth’s hand between them. “It was really cool. I learned so much.”

 

Seth grinned and arched an eyebrow. “Enough to take over the family business?”

 

Ryan blushed. “I think that’s your job.”

 

“Uh… no. Thank you, though.” Seth brought up their hand to kiss Ryan’s fingers. “I’ll let you handle that, Architect Boy.”

 

Ryan’s eyes sparkled and he smiled softly. “God, I missed you so much.”

 

“I missed you, too,” Seth said rather vehemently, leaning forward and fiercely pressing his lips against Ryan’s.

 

Ryan’s free hand came up and cupped Seth’s jaw, thumb lightly stroking Seth’s cheek. He felt Seth lean into his touch and smiled against Seth’s lips.

 

When he leaned back, he stared at Seth in concern as Seth snuggled up to him, laying his head on Ryan’s chest, arm resting over Ryan’s stomach, pulling Ryan as close as possible.

 

Usually when they made out, Seth was an equal participant. Hell, more than an equal participant. Tonight, though, he was barely keeping up. Plus, Seth was usually always about the eye contact. But tonight, he would barely look at Ryan. Plus it was also unusual for Seth to not want to make out. But here Seth was… snuggling. Not that ‘snuggling’ was a bad thing. Ryan did love to snuggle. But it was something that normally happened after the making out or the sex or both. Not before. Or instead of. Which was strange in the first place.

 

Something was going on, that much was evident. But Ryan couldn’t put his finger on it. It wasn’t like Seth to be dodgy. Well, at least not with Ryan. And it wasn’t the dodgy Seth-has-a-secret-he-wanted-to-tell-you-but-couldn’t. It was more like the dodgy Seth-has-a-secret-he-didn’t-want-to-tell-you and that made Ryan wary. However, he mentally shrugged it off and decided he’d wait until Seth was ready to tell him.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

When school started back up on Monday, Seth tried his hardest to act like his normal, babbling-self… like nothing was wrong… like nothing significant had happened to traumatize his life during spring break. He felt he was doing a fine job of it, too, until after classes were over and he went outside to meet Ryan. He got to the top of the stairs and looked down to see Trey pacing back and forth by one of the benches in the quad.

 

Great! Just what he didn’t need.

 

Ryan came up behind him and he almost jumped out of his skin.

 

“You okay?” Ryan asked, concern evident in his voice.

 

Seth laughed nervously. “Yeah, dude. You just scared ten years outta my life. Ten very quality years, might I add.”

 

“Quality, huh?”

 

“Yeah! Ten years that I could be spending…” Seth leered at Ryan, wriggling his eyebrows.

 

Ryan grinned. “Ha ha. You’ve been a bit jumpy lately. Too much caffeine?”

 

Seth moved towards Ryan, wanting to keep him from seeing his brother and threw an arm over Ryan’s shoulder, directing him away from the quad. “One can never have too much caffeine, dude. Have I taught you nothing?”

 

Ryan smiled and the two boys walked away from the quad, Seth shooting nervous glances over his shoulder.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth was feeling like he was cursed. The following day after school, Seth saw Ryan with that girl from Marissa’s party… the one whom he fished out floating face first from the pool. He rolled his eyes and decided to wait for Ryan out by the Rover.

 

When he got to the parking lot, Trey was waiting for him.

 

“Seth.”

 

Seth stopped in his tracks and took a step back. “What the hell are you doing here?”

 

“Look. Just let me explain, okay.” 

 

Seth looked around the lot and glared at Trey. “Dude, there’s nothing you can say to me that I’d want to hear right now.” He started walking away when Trey grabbed his wrist… tight. “What the… let go of me!” Seth yanked his arm out of Trey’s grasp.

 

“Seth!”

 

Seth and Trey turned to see Ryan jog around a car, coming their way. The air immediately became thicker with tension. Seth wondering what Trey might say to Ryan about last week.

 

“Hey!” Seth exclaimed with relief, trying not to show his nervousness.

 

Ryan walked up to Trey, looking a bit confused by his brother’s presence.

 

“Hey, man.”

 

“Hey, Ry.” The two brothers shook hands and gave each other a quick one-armed hug.

 

“What are you doing here?” Ryan questioned.

 

“Nothing,” Trey answered. “Just came here to, uh, thank Seth for the Bait Shop gig. It’s really good.”

 

Ryan smiled at Seth, who tried hard not to look too uncomfortable.

 

Ryan frowned as he looked closer at Trey. He leaned forward to touch his temple. “Whaddya do to your head? Jeez.”

 

Trey moved back. “Nothing. Just banged it on a cabinet.”

 

Seth swallowed hard and inhaled a shaky breath. He wanted to leave so bad, but didn’t want to draw attention to his anxiety.

 

The tension in the air became almost unbearable when Ryan asked, “So, what’s up? You guys wanna go grab a bite?” He looked between Trey and Seth quizzically.

 

Seth swallowed again. “Uh, no, I…”

 

Trey interrupted him. “Yeah, yeah, I should probably get back to work.”

 

Seth lowered his head, resolutely not looking at either Atwood. He couldn’t see the confused look Ryan was giving both he and Trey.

 

“But, uh,” Trey continued. “I wanna hear about your week.”

 

Ryan nodded and they watched as Trey walked away.

 

Seth turned and moved quickly to the Rover.

 

“Everything all right?” Ryan asked, following Seth to the car.

 

“Yeah, dude. Just worried about that Calc test. It’s gonna kick my ass if I don’t start studying, like, now!”

 

Ryan curled his lip in a crooked grin. “You’ll do fine.” They got in the car and started out of the parking lot.

 

“Dude. I’m not you. I don’t do math and science.” Seth smiled over at Ryan. “It if was on Marvel or DC, I’d kick ass!”

 

Ryan laughed and reached out a hand, grasping Seth’s. “I’ll help.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Seth returned his attention to the road, not seeing Ryan’s concern.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

Ryan was becoming increasingly worried as the days wore on. Ever since he and Kirsten returned from their architectural retreat, Seth had been acting more and more jittery around him. He would go from one extreme to another: quiet and closed-off one second and an antsier version of himself the next; like a light switch turning on and off… it was just that quick.

 

Frankly it was making Ryan uptight and he decided to go visit Trey because he seemed to be the only common denominator in this whole equation.

 

So, while Trey was unloading boxes for The Bait Shop, Ryan went to visit him.

 

He banged on the front of the van to let know Trey he was there.

 

“Hey!” Trey hollered.

 

“Hey, man. Got ya working, huh?” Ryan asked walking around to the back of the vehicle.

 

“Oh yeah. Real slave drivers.” He put down another box. “What’s up?”

 

“Nothing. Listen. I gotta ask you something. Seth has been acting a little weird since I got back. He didn’t happen to say anything when you guys were hanging out, did he?”

 

“Nope,” Trey replied tersely, heaving another box out of the car. “I don’t think so.”

 

“You sure? He didn’t say anything?”

 

“Look, man,” Trey overrode Ryan’s question. “I gotta lot of work to do, so… No offense, but I don’t want them to think I’m slacking off.”

 

“Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

 

“But, uh, hey, man, we’ll talk later, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Ryan watched Trey take a load of boxes into the Bait Shop before turning to leave. As he turned around, he ran into Jess, sauntering up to him.

 

“Well, well. If it isn’t baby brother.”

 

Ryan rolled his eyes. He knew there was something going on between her and his brother and he really wished Trey had more taste than this.

 

He looked down at her. “Just came by to see Trey.” He tried to pass her and she ran into his chest, stopping him.

 

“Me, too. But I can be talked out of it.” She ran a finger down his stomach.

 

“Look,” he tried diplomatically. “Whatever’s going on between you two… he needs time to get his life back together.”

 

“C’mon. It’s not like we’re serious. I mean, how could we be? He’s completely obsessed with…” Ryan frowned at her. “Well, with someone else.”

 

“You know what? Fine. I’m not getting involved.” He moved to push passed her, but she stopped him.

 

“Well. The fact is, Ryan.” She pushed against his chest seductively. “I’ve always had this fantasy about two brothers.”

 

Ryan forced himself not to roll his eyes. “I think that’s gonna stay a fantasy.”

 

“I get it. I used to think it was strange, too. But, apparently, I’m not the only one into the brother thing.” She moved around him and walked away, leaving Ryan wondering what she was talking about and not liking where her implications were going.

 

* * * * *

 

Later that night, as Ryan got dressed for his and Seth’s ‘date’ to an IMAX movie, he tried to decide how to approach Seth. He was worried about him and the strange conversation he had with Jess that afternoon wasn’t alleviating his concern.

 

Seth sauntered into the pool house as Ryan was staring off into space. 

 

“Hey.” Seth shut and locked the door behind him.

 

Ryan blinked and stood up after finishing tying his shoe. “Hi.”

 

They moved towards each other, Ryan sliding a hand around Seth’s waist. Seth leaned forward and kissed Ryan, hand moving up to slip into Ryan’s hair.

 

They kissed for a few moments until Ryan broke the kiss. “So, uh, listen.” Seth leaned back. “You’ve been, uh… Is, Is everything okay?” Ryan asked a bit flustered.

 

Seth grinned and pushed Ryan down on the bed, kissing and sucking Ryan’s lower lip. “Why don’t you tell me?” He mumbled against Ryan’s mouth as he fell onto Ryan.

 

Seth began kissing in earnest, gliding both hands into Ryan’s hair, holding his head in place. The kissing started becoming more aggressive, but Ryan was too far gone to really care anymore.

 

He rolled them over, looking down at Seth. His lips were kiss-swollen. It was a look that Ryan loved on Seth. It was a look Ryan loved putting on Seth even more. An unfamiliar look passed over Seth’s face, but it was gone in an instant. It was enough for Ryan to wonder, however, before Seth skimmed his hands over Ryan’s ears and back into his hair, bringing him down for another kiss.

 

They kissed a few more times then suddenly Ryan was pushed away; Seth looking at him like he’d never seen him before. Ryan watched Seth blink rapidly a few times. “Hey,” he whispered, leaning over and pressing his lips gently against Seth’s.

 

Seth shook his head and began kissing him back. Before long, Ryan was pressing down in the crook of Seth’s neck, kissing and sucking on the thin skin, nuzzling his face under Seth’s jaw. He flicked a tongue out and tasted the damp skin, Seth writhing beneath him. 

 

Ryan was unaware that Seth’s hands had turned from pulling Ryan closer to trying to push him away until he was shoved over on his back and Seth was scrambling from the bed.

 

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Ryan stood up and tried to follow Seth, who had backed up to the door, hands scrabbling behind him to find and unlock the lock.

 

Ryan looked on in horror as Seth backed away in fear… fear of Ryan.

 

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I thought I could, but… I’m just not ready for the heavy stuff yet.” Seth had his hands out, trying to keep Ryan away from him as he backed up out of the now opened door.

 

“Okay. All right,” Ryan tried to soothe as he watched Seth back further away from him. “Just talk…” But Seth was rushing down the stairs to the house, too far away to hear anything else Ryan had to say.

 

Ryan stood at the opened door and watched in dismay as Seth fled from him. He sagged against the door jam torn between going after Seth and leaving him alone. Whatever was going on with Seth, it was much bigger than Ryan had imagined. Seth would never run away from him. Ryan was sure of that. And to see Seth so frightened of him… It was something foreign to Ryan and something he was sure that he would never, ever see from Seth. 

 

And the thing about the ‘heavy stuff’? Shit! They’ve had sex for god’s sake! Numerous times! What made tonight any different?

 

Something was going on and Ryan was determined to find out… one way or another.

 

* * * * *

 

He waited an hour or so before venturing up to Seth’s room. Wanting to give Seth some time to calm down. Unfortunately, when Ryan got up there, Seth’s room was empty.

 

“Damn it,” Ryan cursed as he thumped his palm against the wall. 

 

He went back out to the pool house.

 

Picking up the phone, Ryan dialed Seth’s cell phone. “Seth, hey, it’s me again. Listen, uh, call me back, please. Tell me what’s going on. Please. I love you.” He listened to dead air for a moment longer before hanging up.

 

A knock on the door behind him made Ryan turn around, hoping it was Seth. He sagged when he saw it was just Sandy.

 

“Hey,” he said getting up from the bed and putting the phone down, silently hoping that Sandy hadn’t heard his phone call to Seth at least the ‘I love you’ part.

 

“Hey,” Sandy replied. “Everything okay?”

 

“Uh, yeah.” Ryan shrugged. “It’s just that… Seth and I got into a fight about… I don’t even know what.”

 

Sandy laughed self-consciously. “Huh. Must be the night for it. I’ve been out trying to find Kirsten. I thought maybe she might have come home.”

 

Ryan shook his head. “Yeah, I haven’t seen her.”

 

“Well, I’m gonna go back out. If she comes back…”

 

“Yeah. Yeah. Actually, um, I was gonna…”

 

“No, right, of course, go find Seth.”

 

Ryan put on his jacket. “Good luck.”

 

“Right back attcha,” Sandy said, leaving the pool house.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

After walking along the beach by his house, Seth made his way back home still no closer to figuring out what to do.

 

He spent most the time at the beach berating himself for acting like a girl. But it was just so weird. As Ryan was kissing him, Seth kept having these flashbacks to the beach the other night.

 

He always loved having Ryan on top of him. It always made him feel save and loved, but tonight… it was like Trey all over again. He felt pinned and trapped. He felt Trey pressing into him instead of Ryan’s gentle touch. It was all too surreal and he wanted to kick himself for how he acted towards Ryan. He was acting like a… a rape victim or something. But he hadn’t been raped, in fact he’d kicked ass (or smacked head), so he couldn’t understand why he was feeling so… dirty? Afraid? Used?

 

Inhaling shakily, Seth made his way up the stairs to his room.

 

He was going to have to come up with some better explanation other than not being ready for sex. They have had ‘clothed sex’ several times since they got together. Tonight wouldn’t have been any different if Seth hadn’t freaked out.

 

He sat at his computer table, going through email when a hand touched his back. Forcing himself not to jump, figuring it was Ryan, Seth pasted a smile on his face and turned around. He leaped from his chair when it saw Trey leaning close.

 

“How the hell did you get in here?” Seth grabbed the computer chair, keeping it between him and Trey.

 

“The back door’s open. Look, I just wanna talk.”

 

Seth looked incredulously at Trey. “Get out!” 

 

“Look, I’m sorry, Seth. Okay? I was outta my mind.”

 

Seth narrowed his eyes in anger. “And that’s an excuse?”

 

“Look, I didn’t plan it okay? It just… It just happened.”

 

“Oh please. I don’t want to hear it.” Seth shoved the chair towards Trey and tried to move passed him.

 

Trey advanced on Seth. “Look! Just! I just want things to go back to the way they were! Okay? I never meant to hurt you.”

 

Seth stepped back from Trey’s angry tone before standing up straight and glaring at Trey. “Me? What about Ryan? I mean, he’s your brother. He loves you. He would do anything for you.”

 

Trey clenched his teeth and took a step forward. “Look, I said…” Seth took a step back. “I said I’m sorry.”

 

“And so what? That’s supposed to make everything better? You know? You don’t even deserve him as a brother.”

 

Silence hung in the room for a very tense moment before Trey took a step back. “You don’t want to accept my apology. That’s fine. But I want you to promise me you will not say anything to him.”

 

Seth glared, pissed that Trey had the balls to demand that of him. “Get out. Get out before I call Ryan.”

 

Trey looked smug. “You wouldn’t.”

 

Seth arched an eyebrow. “Try me.”

 

They stared at each other for a moment longer before Trey turned to leave.

 

Seth moved to the window to make sure he witnessed Trey’s departure.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

Ryan had been hunting for Seth for the past hour before giving up and heading home. He knew Seth would come home eventually. At least he hoped Seth would come home eventually. 

 

He guided his bike to the back of the house and set it against the side of the pool house. He was pulling the curtains on the opposite side of the room when he saw a familiar figure come out of the back door and stalk around to the front of the house.

 

It was Trey.

 

Ryan sat heavily on the bed. That little niggling feeling in the back of his mind came back and small pieces of the very strange puzzle started fitting into place: Seth’s strange behavior; Trey’s strange behavior; Jess’s strange comments. It all led up to only one conclusion… Seth had slept with Trey.

 

Fuck! What the hell was he gonna do?

 

* * * * *

 

He sat on his bed in stunned silence, trying in vain to come up with other scenarios other than what his mind was telling him. He was so caught up that he didn’t hear his phone ring until it was almost too late. Hoping it was Seth, Ryan snatched up the phone just before it went to voice mail.

 

“Seth?”

 

“Sorry, Chino, it’s me.”

 

Ryan rapped his knuckles on his forehead in frustration. “Summer, I really don’t ha—“

 

“Listen, Chino. You know where Cohen is? I’ve been, like, trying to call him and he’s not picking up.” 

 

Having just seen Seth looking down from his window to watch Trey leave, Ryan bit off a nasty remark. “He’s in his room.”

 

“Did you guys have a fight or something?” She asked, hearing the obvious bitterness in his tone.

 

Ryan sighed loudly. “No, but I think we might soon.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Blaming the fact that he has been spending way too much time around Seth, not that that was a bad thing, he blurted out, “He slept with Trey.”

 

The silence over the phone was deafening. 

 

“Shit. I… Summer?”

 

“And you know this how?”

 

“I just saw Trey leave the house. Sneak out of the house actually,” Ryan emphasized.

 

“So, of course, that means that Seth and Trey are sleeping together,” Summer snarked.

 

“Look…” Ryan began, rubbing his temple. Did he really want to go into this with Summer? Could he not? One thing was for sure… he needed to talk to someone. Unfortunately the one person he usually talked to about personal matters was always Seth. But, unfortunately, the personal matter in this case was Seth. He really didn’t see any other choice.

 

“Look,” he repeated. “You know that Seth has been acting strange these last few days. I’m not the only one to see that, am I?”

 

“Yeah. So? Cohen always acts strange.”

 

“No, I mean more than normal. Ever since I got back from The Newport Group retreat, Seth’s been… well, a little ‘off’.”

 

“O-kay.”

 

“Tonight. We were going to go to a movie. And before we left, we were… um…” Ryan flushed. Why did he have to bring up tonight? He really didn’t feel comfortable talking about his intimate relationship with the ex-girlfriend of the guy in question. “Uh, kinda, um, kissing and…” His words were so quiet that he heard a snort over the phone line.

 

“Oh, please, Chino. You were making out! See? I can say it. And?”

 

Ryan sighed. “He initiated it, but when we started getting a little, uh, into it, he freaked out and left.”

 

Summer gasped and her tone became serious. “Freaked out? What the hell did you do?”

 

“Nothing! Nothing more than what we’ve done before. He just freaked out and took off. I haven’t seen him since.”

 

“So how do you know that Trey was there to see Seth? Maybe he was…”

 

“No one else is home, Summer. Sandy went to look for Kirsten. And after I saw Trey leave I looked up and saw Seth at his window.”

 

“So maybe they were just talking or something.”

 

“What could Seth and Trey possibly have to talk about?”

 

“I don’t know, Chino!” Ryan could hear that Summer was getting pissed off. “Maybe they were swapping stories about you. I don’t know. What I do know is that you don’t have any proof.”

 

“Then you tell me why Seth is acting strange and seems nervous around Trey and wants to kiss me one second and is freaking out the next and…”

 

“Okay, okay, I get it.”

 

“Do you?”

 

Ryan heard Summer sigh. “What I do get, Chino, is this… Seth would never do anything to screw up your relationship. He loves you. I can tell. I don’t know what happened during spring break, but I can bet that it wasn’t what you think.”

 

Ryan snorted. “What else could it be?”

 

“Well, why don’t you ask him, idiot?”

 

“I…” Ryan ran a nervous hand through his hair. Because I’m afraid of what he would say, he thought to himself. Out loud he said, “All right.”

 

Ryan could practically hear her nod over the phone. 

 

“Okay,” she said. After a short pause, she continued. “Remember that he does love you, Chino. Don’t fuck this up.”

 

Ryan nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“I mean it,” she emphasized. “I love him, too, so if you hurt him, there won’t be anything left of you to bury. Understand?”

 

He was convinced she meant it, too. There was a spark of jealousy in the deepest part of his heart when he heard her say that she loved Seth. But it also warmed his soul that there was someone else out there that loved Seth as much as he did.

 

“Okay. Uh, Summer? Thanks.”

 

“Don’t mention it. Now go. Fix it. Make up and have hot monkey sex all over the p…”

 

Ryan blushed a thousand shades of red. “Good night, Summer!” He yelled and hung up quickly so he wouldn’t have to hear any more.

 

Despite Summer’s suggestion, Ryan decided it would be better to wait until tomorrow… when they were both calmer.

 

* * * * *

 

Unfortunately, the next day did not start out in any way ‘calm’ and it started much earlier than normal. Seth came barreling into the pool house at five thirty in the morning to tell Ryan that Kirsten was in a car accident and was in the hospital.

 

Ryan practically fell out of the bed to get dressed.

 

He knew, after the conversation with Sandy the night before, that Sandy and Kirsten were having problems of their own. He hated to see that since he looked up to and respected both parental Cohens. They may have been his legal guardians, but they were so much more to that. He saw them as parents; in every sense of the word. And while that would make Seth his brother… considering the new relationship with Seth… Ryan didn’t want to think about that too much. The thing with Lindsay was bad enough. This? Way too much.

 

Ryan was the one to drive them to the hospital. Seth was in the passenger seat, one leg bouncing up and down so much it was shaking his seat.

 

“She’ll be okay,” Ryan soothed, reaching out a hand for Seth’s. Ryan was surprised when Seth quickly latched on and squeezed… hard.

 

Ryan squeezed back, trying to get Seth’s attention. Sad, worried brown eyes turned to him and Ryan brought Seth’s fingers to his lips and gently kissed the knuckles. “She’ll be okay.” Though if he was trying to convince Seth or himself, he wasn’t sure.

 

Seth smiled sadly at Ryan and nodded his head against the head rest. “Okay.”

 

Ryan inhaled a shaky breath. For Seth to have that much faith in him was scary sometimes, but it was a role he was willing to keep… forever.

 

* * * * *

 

They made it to the hospital in record time and Ryan shadowed Seth through the hallways the receptionist had directed them through.

 

Seth slowed down the closer they got to the room. A few steps outside the room, Ryan bumped into him and placed a gentle hand on the small of Seth’s back, urging him forward. “She’ll be okay,” he reiterated, whispering in Seth’s ear as he propelled him forward through the door.

 

Seth raised a hand in greeting as they walked into her room. “Mom, you okay?”

 

“Oh, I’m fine.” Kirsten said, sighing. She had a bruise over her left eye and looked tired, but Ryan was grateful that she looked okay otherwise.

 

“The doctor says she has a concussion,” Sandy added.

 

Seth looked at his dad before returning his attention back to his mom. Ryan stood close, concern for Seth just as prominent as his concern for Kirsten.

 

“But fortunately,” Sandy continued, “no internal injuries.”

 

“What happened?” Ryan asked.

 

“Talking on the cell phone,” Kirsten answered. “Stupid. Thank god for airbags.”

 

Ryan gestured between himself and Seth. “Well, is there anything we could do?”

 

Seth looked at him and Ryan smiled softly.

 

“Oh, not a thing. I’ll probably just spend the day on the couch.”

 

“Well,” Seth began. “Under the circumstances, I’ll lift my parental ban on my DVD collection.” 

 

Ryan could tell that Seth was trying… almost too hard… to lighten up the situation, but it was evident that Seth was scared to death.

 

“What an honor,” Sandy quipped, looking at his son with a smile.

 

“It is,” Seth confirmed. “You can watch anything you want. Uh, House of Flying Daggers, Evil Dead 2. If you must: X-Men one and two. But you gotta do one first. That’s sorta the catch.”

 

Ryan half-noticed Sandy get up and leave, but he was too focused on Seth to care.

 

“I kinda like one...” Ryan said.

 

Seth shook his head. “No, two’s better.”

 

Kirsten reached out a hand and took Seth’s fidgety one in her own.

 

“I’m okay.” She smiled at them both.

 

Seth sat down on the side of the bed and Ryan moved closer, giving him as much support as he could.

 

“I know,” Seth tried to smile, but came up short. The worry was etched deep into his face.

 

Kirsten reached out her other hand and took Ryan’s. “Now, why don’t you two get to school. I’ll be okay. I promise.”

 

Seth stared at his mom for a few minutes longer before nodding his head. “Okay.” He leaned down and gave Kirsten a kiss on her cheek before moving back and allowing Ryan to do the same.

 

“Take care of him,” Kirsten whispered in Ryan’s ear.

 

When Ryan stood up, he nodded in confirmation and ushered Seth from the room.

 

* * * * *

 

With the worry about Kirsten behind him, well, for the most part, Ryan couldn’t help but agonize over his current Seth/Trey situation. He knew that something had happened while he and Kirsten had been gone and all signs were pointing to the one thing he just couldn’t imagine having happened.

 

And because Ryan and Seth seemed to have their most private and confidential conversations at school… 

 

Ryan caught up to Seth as he was walking across the quad to class.

 

“Seth,” Ryan jogged up to Seth.

 

Seth turned around and smiled. “Hey!”

 

“Look, I know there’s something going on, so just tell me.”

 

Seth’s smile disappeared in an instant and he frowned at Ryan. “Tell you what?”

 

“I saw Trey leaving the house last night.”

 

Seth snorted lightly and huffed. “So?” Ryan continued to stare at him. “Dude, it’s not what you think.”

 

“Yeah, well, I asked you what happened when I was gone that week and you’re not talking, so… I’m taking my best guess.”

 

“Which is?” Seth’s eyes blazed and his voice became icy.

 

“You and Trey,” Ryan accused. But before Seth could answer, Ryan demanded, “How could you?”

 

Seth’s face was now beet red, but if was from guilt, shame or fury, Ryan couldn’t be sure. All Ryan was seeing at that moment was his own fury and shame. He’d trusted Seth and Seth betrayed him… with his own brother!

 

“What? You think we hooked up?” Seth was livid, practically vibrating on the spot. Seth’s lips pursed with suppressed rage before he turned and marched off. “Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence.”

 

Ryan jogged after him and grabbed him by the arm, whirling him around. “Hey, look. You’ve been acting strange ever since I got back. Trey’s avoiding me. What? What was I supposed to think?”

 

Seth’s face shut down, though Ryan noticed he was unable to hide the tears filming his eyes. “You’re supposed to trust me, Ryan.”

 

Ryan’s opened his mouth to respond, but no words would form.

 

“You’re supposed to give me a little more credit,” Seth whispered in defeat.

 

“Okay, fine. Tell me,” Ryan suddenly demanded, voice coming back without a problem, but clearly without consultation from his brain either.

 

Seth’s eyes bore into Ryan. “I didn’t hook up with him.” He started walking off again before turning around and facing Ryan. “And if you don’t believe me, why don’t you ask your brother what happened?”

 

Ryan watched Seth stalk off. He didn’t know what to think anymore. He wanted to believe Seth. So much. But he couldn’t deny what he saw. And he couldn’t deny how both Seth and Trey had been acting since his return from The Newport Group retreat.

 

He was so caught up in his own misery, he didn’t notice Seth coming back until he was snarling quietly in his face. “I can’t believe you would honestly believe that I would fuck up what we have. After everything I went through for us to get this far, you think I would throw it all away to be with your brother? I waited five weeks for you to get your shit together. Five weeks! You think I would toss these past six months for one night with him? I love you, you asshole!”

 

The last part was shouted and several students paused on their way to their classes at Seth’s outburst. Several started to snicker. Others started to gossip amongst themselves. Ryan even heard a water polo jock comment ‘I knew it’ to his buddies. But he couldn’t concern himself with them right now. His life was falling apart in front of him and he was just standing there not saying a word like a complete and utter idiot.

 

Ryan saw Summer push her way through the crowd behind Seth. She opened her mouth only to snap it shut at Seth’s words. But he couldn’t worry about what anyone thought right now. He stood frozen and mute in the middle of the school quad. 

 

Clearly pissed at Ryan’s silence, Seth huffed. “You don’t think too much of me, do you? If you thought I would… GOD! Forget it.”

 

“Seth…” Ryan reached out and snagged Seth’s arm.

 

“Let go of me!” Seth jerked his arm out of Ryan’s grasp and stomped away, swerving around Summer, stalking off into the crowd that had gathered to witness their quarrel.

 

Well, if their coming-out didn’t quite happen at Trey’s birthday party, even though they had been making out in the middle of the hallway, it certainly had been accomplished here… at school… in the middle of the quad.

 

Ryan sighed.

 

Seth’s words reverberated in his head and he moved to a bench and sat down heavily amongst quiet and not-so-quiet snickers and taunts. 

 

Seth was right… he was supposed to trust Seth. Hell, out of anyone, Seth was really the only one he did trust. Well, besides Sandy and Kirsten. But, between Seth and Trey? There may be blood between Ryan and Trey, but there was love between Ryan and Seth. And who, out of the two, had never betrayed him? Never left him? Would never do anything to hurt him? 

 

Seth. 

 

It was always Seth.

 

So why was Ryan so set on blaming Seth for something that he clearly had no definable proof? He hadn’t even bothered to get Trey’s side of the story, not that he needed to. Seth’s word should have been enough. Blood may be thicker than water, but it was never thicker than love. Or at least it shouldn’t be.

 

And Ryan fucked it up with one well placed accusation.

 

Shit!

 

Would he never learn?

 

Ryan sighed heavily again. Oh yeah… he’d fucked up. What do you do for an encore, dipshit? He silently berated himself. If anything were to convince him that he’d been totally off base, it had been Seth’s words.

 

How could he forget everything he and Seth went through late last year? Seth had been miserable not knowing what to do about his feeling for Ryan, and suffered for months while not telling Ryan how he felt. And after… once Ryan told Seth that not only did he know about Seth’s feeling, but returned them, it still took Ryan five agonizing weeks to come to terms with his own feelings. Agonizing for him… he couldn’t even imagine how the five weeks went for Seth. He never asked him.

 

And now he had the audacity to accuse Seth of ruining everything all because Ryan had a suspicion, a suspicion that something was going on between Seth and Trey. He had no proof. Just suspicion. 

 

And it was this suspicion that may have ruined everything Seth and Ryan had worked so hard to build these past few months.

 

“Ryan? You okay?” He heard Summer ask. He’d forgotten she was even there… that she had witnessed a part of their fight.

 

He shook his head and dropped his chin to his chest.

 

“I fucked up.”

 

“Uh, yeah. I’d say so.” Ryan managed a small smile. If there was one thing he could count on Summer for would be her brutal honesty.

 

He raised his head and looked at her. Obviously desperate, he asked, “What should I do?”

 

She stepped up to him and smacked him on the side of his head. “Use this for something other than holding air.”

 

He looked at her and blinked uncomprehendingly.

 

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “What did Seth say?”

 

He thought a minute. “Talk to Trey?”

 

“OH! So he does listen!” Ryan glared at her. She stepped closer, anger glinting in her eyes. “Fix this, Chino. I mean it. Cohen does not deserve this, so fix it. Got it?”

 

Ryan knew she was right. This had to end. Soon. “Okay.”

 

Summer nodded her head. “Good.” They stared at each other a few silent moments. “Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Go!”

 

Ryan gave her a crooked smile. “Going.”

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

Seth stalked down the stairs and headed off campus. He was in no mood to deal with school after that scene. 

 

How the hell could Ryan accuse him of that, of all things? It was bad enough that Trey tried to… Well, that Trey forced himself on Seth. But for Ryan to think that he would betray Ryan like that… with Trey?

 

Anger flared in Seth for only a moment before fading away just as quickly, to be replaced by resignation. Was Ryan ever going to have any faith in him? Was Ryan ever going to trust him? Was he going to have to fight for everything all the time in his life? Wasn’t something going to go right for him just one fucking time?

 

Seth walked to the nearby beach and barely made it to the sand before his legs gave out and he sat down hard on the ground. He dropped his head to his drawn up knees and wrapped his arms around his legs, sighing heavily. Fucking Trey.

 

Could his life get any worse right now? 

 

First, Trey comes this close to raping Seth. Holy shit!

 

Then, his mom gets into a car accident. And did that not scare the hell out of him this morning… getting that phone call from his dad and finding out that his mom was in the hospital? 

 

Now, Ryan was accusing him of sleeping with Trey! 

 

Why the hell would Seth want Trey, anyway? Okay, so he had the bad-boy thing going for him, but Seth was so not into that. Well, not anymore. He had Ryan. And while Ryan still had a bit of bad-boy in him, it wasn’t what Seth wanted in his guy.

 

Seth managed a self-deprecating snort. Never would he think that he would want anything in a guy in the first place. But, it was like the moment Ryan moved in, he became much more than just a new friend, way more than a pseudo-brother. Ryan became Seth’s world.

 

And wasn’t that just pathetic.

 

But now Seth’s ‘world’ was crumbling around him… accusing him of sleeping with his brother. Eww, Summer would say, and Seth couldn’t agree more. Sure there was something about Trey that could be called good-looking he guessed, if you looked, like, really hard, but… he was no Ryan. Ryan was everything Trey wasn’t… Gorgeous. Attractive, in that buff kind of way.

 

Seth blushed. God! He was totally sounding like a girl! Buff? What the fu--? But the girly part of his brain couldn’t deny the truth. Besides, it wasn’t just the outside package that got to Seth. In fact, he didn’t even notice the outside part until he started having more than friend-like feeling for Ryan.

 

Ryan was a good guy. He got a bad rap just from the fact he was from Chino. But Seth was positive that Ryan was a good guy even then. It was fucking Trey that got him in trouble in the first place.

 

Ryan had morals. He was a decent guy. He was kind, generous, thoughtful, gracious, overly righteous at times, overbearing sometimes, protective to a fault… all the things Seth never even knew could exist in Newport Beach, California. 

 

Plus… he liked Seth.

 

Totally something that Seth didn’t think could exist in Newport Beach, California. There really was a person on this planet that could like geeky, misfit, outcast Seth Cohen. Seth was sure it was all those things that contributed to his crossover to the minty side. But Ryan was so completely worth it.

 

Well, he was until today. How could that bastard think that I would ever…? Seth thought, digging a hole in the sand with his heel.

 

Seth sighed. He didn’t know what he was going to do.

 

Maybe he would go home and check on his mom. He could use that as an excuse to skip the last couple classes of the day. He was sure he would get grounded or something, but… right now he didn’t really care. Between Ryan’s asshatedness (and why was he sounding like Summer all of a sudden?) and his mom recent accident, he was entitled to have a little anxiety in his life. Besides, he was Seth Cohen… Paralyzing Self Doubt was his middle name.

 

He got up, brushed the sand off his pants and headed home.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan 

 

Ryan had taken Seth’s advice and decided to get Trey’s side of the story. 

 

Once Ryan had calmed down enough and decided to use his head for something other than containing hot air, as Summer so eloquently put it, he methodically went over the scene the other day when he met Seth and Trey in the school parking lot.

 

Not only had Seth been acting strangely, he was acting nervous. And it wasn’t around Ryan so much as it was around Trey. It was almost as if Seth was afraid… of Trey.

 

That thought actually stopped Ryan in his tracks. Seth may be many things, but afraid of anyone? Never. But several times in the past few days, Seth actually acted frightened while around Trey. And a few times, Seth had actually backed away from Ryan, which really concerned him.

 

The one thing that bothered Ryan more than anything was Seth being afraid of him. Seth should know that Ryan would never hurt him. And Trey may be a lot of things and may have done a lot of things, but he couldn’t fathom Trey doing anything to hurt Seth.

 

Something else was going on and Ryan was going to get to the bottom of it one way or another.

 

Ryan stood at the door to Trey’s apartment and pounded on the door. “Trey! Trey! You in there?”

 

When there was no answer, he pulled out his cell phone and called Trey’s number.

 

“Trey, look, it’s me. I know you’re avoiding me, but I need to talk to you, so, do me a favor and call me back. Bye.”

 

Kicking the bottom of Trey’s apartment door in frustration, Ryan shoved the phone back into his pocket. He drove away trying to figure out what to do next.

 

* * * * *

 

He found himself sitting in the pool house, no closer to figuring out what to do than he was five hours ago.

 

A sound at the door made him look up and he frowned when he saw Summer, of all people, come into the pool house. 

 

“So… That was a nice little scene at school today,” she stated sarcastically and sat down on the bed.

 

Ryan rolled his eyes and glared at the girl. “Yeah.” 

 

She put up her hands. “Back off, Cujo.”

 

They stared icily at each other. 

 

“Well?!” Summer demanded.

 

“Said he didn’t hook up with Trey.”

 

“Yeah, we covered that this afternoon. I told you he didn’t, Chino. He loves you. More than anything.”

 

“Yeah, well, something happened between them. I know it.”

 

Summer glowered at Ryan. “Well, have you tried talking to Trey like you said you were going to? See what he says?”

 

“I went over to his place today. He wasn’t there. And he’s not taking my calls.”

 

“All right. At the risk of sounding like Cohen, you can sit around your pool house all day and spin your ‘conspiracy theories’,” she made quotes in the air, “about Trey and Seth. Or you could believe Seth.” Summer got up and stood in front of Ryan, arching an eyebrow intimidatingly. “My personal recommendation…”

 

“Let me guess… ‘believe Seth’.” Ryan replied snottily.

 

Summer put her hands on her hips. “Yeah. Oh! And stop acting like an asshat, asshat!” Ryan looked up with a small smile while she continued. “You don’t have any reason not to believe him. Do you?”

 

Ryan shook his head.

 

“All right, then. Now can you please put this whole ‘non fight’ behind you two?”

 

The corner of Ryan’s mouth curved up slightly. “Why are you so concerned with us?”

 

Summer sat back on the end of the bed and looked him straight in the eye. “Ryan…”

 

“Oooh, first name?”

 

Summer growled. “Shut up, dick, and listen.”

 

Ryan raised his hands placatingly.

 

“I love Cohen. And while he and I can’t ever be cuz you turned him gay, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want the best for him. And you are what’s best for him.”

 

Ryan grinned shyly and colored slightly. “Thanks, Summer.”

 

“You’re welcome. Now,” she said, standing up. “Go out and find Trey and fix this, before I kick your ass.”

 

Ryan stood up as well and, on the spur of the moment, bent down and gave her a hug. “Thanks,” he whispered.

 

* * * * *

 

Instead of hunting down Trey, Ryan decided to go find Seth first.

 

He found him in the house watching House of Flying Daggers with Kirsten.

 

“Hey, Kirsten, how are you feeling?”

 

Kirsten smiled up at Ryan. “Better. Thanks, sweetie.”

 

Ryan sat down on the arm of the chair next to Seth and leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Can we talk?”

 

Seth didn’t even turn to look at Ryan, looking for all the world, engrossed in the movie.

 

“Please?”

 

Seth sighed heavily and stood up. “I’m gonna grab a soda, Mom. You want anything?”

 

“No, honey, I’m good.”

 

“Okay.” Seth went into the kitchen followed by Ryan. He turned to Ryan, arms crossed defensively over his chest. “What?”

 

Ryan leaned against the island. “So.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Seth. About earlier. I went off on you. I was confused.”

 

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Seth snipped. “How could you think I would cheat on you, Ryan?” His voice wavered and cracked with grief.

 

Ryan closed his eyes, not wanting to see the pain in Seth’s eyes. But he couldn’t block out the words Seth used earlier or the anguish in his voice. “I don’t know,” Ryan answered truthfully.

 

Seth stared at him and Ryan squirmed under the scrutiny.

 

“No relationship I’ve had has meant more to me than this one,” Ryan began. “I just…” Ryan sighed and closed his eyes. “I can’t tell you how many girlfriends I’ve lost to Trey.”

 

Seth’s snort caused Ryan to open his eyes.

 

“You’re kidding, right?” Seth asked skeptically.

 

Ryan shook his head.

 

“How would anyone want Trey when there’s you?” Seth asked. Ryan would have laughed at Seth if he didn’t see how serious Seth was being.

 

“You’d be surprised,” Ryan answered softly.

 

Seth dropped his arms and sagged against the refrigerator. “I would never cheat on you, Ryan. I love you.”

 

“I know,” Ryan admitted.

 

“Do you?” Seth arched an eyebrow.

 

Ryan jerked his head up and stared at Seth. After what happened that afternoon, he supposed Seth was within his rights to ask. But it still hurt to think that Seth was still unconvinced of Ryan’s love. But, you’re no different, his mind taunted. You’ve blamed the man you claim to love for cheating on you. How’s that for being unconvinced of someone’s love?

 

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Ryan nodded. “Yes, I do. I just… Things have been crazy since Trey got out. I don’t know how to act around him and… My mind’s been all over the place.”

 

“I get it,” Seth said tiredly. “I’ve been kinda all over the map, too.”

 

Ryan took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. “You said nothing happened and I believe you.”

 

Seth raised an eyebrow, incredulously. “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Seth.” Ryan moved closer to Seth and ducked his head, reaching out a hand to run an index finger lightly down Seth’s stomach. “I had no right to say what I did and I’m sorry.”

 

He felt Seth pull him closer and shivered as warm breath skimmed over his ear. “Me, too.”

 

Ryan looked up. “There’s nothing you need to apologize for.”

 

Seth smiled and leaned close to tenderly kiss Ryan’s lips. Ryan felt himself sag with relief against Seth, arms tentatively going around Seth’s hips. “I’m sorry,” he murmured again at the base of Seth’s throat. He sighed and laid his head on Seth’s shoulder, enjoying the feel of Seth’s arms around his back. He had never felt this close to anyone in his entire life. It felt like home… like he had a home for the first time ever.

 

They were so caught up with each other, neither boy saw Kirsten turn around and go back into the living room, a small smile on her lips.

 

After several moments, Ryan raised his head and looked up into Seth’s eyes. “Ya wanna go to a movie tomorrow night?”

 

“Really?” Seth arched an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah. Since we’re not going to prom, this could be, like, our date… or something. Besides, I kinda like the whole in-the-dark idea.”

 

Seth smirked and nodded. “Date, huh?”

 

Ryan nodded.

 

“Yeah, okay.”

 

Ryan smiled.

 

* * * * *

 

The next day, Ryan drove Seth to school. Both boys holding hands the entire way. Things seemed to be better between them now that Ryan decided to take Summer’s advice and trust Seth, even without confronting Trey. Not that Ryan wasn’t planning on doing just that, but he realized it wasn’t a requirement in order to fix things with Seth. Just taking it on faith and believing in Seth was enough. As it should have been to begin with, he realized.

 

So Ryan was feeling pretty good while he was tossing things into his locker. That is, until he closed the door and found himself face to face with Jess… the new bane of his existence.

 

“Scared you,” she taunted, twirling a strand of her fake blonde hair.

 

“Jess,” Ryan stated flatly.

 

“Walk me to class. It feels like we haven’t chatted in awhile.” 

 

“There’s nothing to ‘chat’ about,” Ryan stated.

 

“Oh, but there is,” Jess countered, smiling with self-satisfaction.

 

“What do you want?” Ryan demanded, not moving from his spot.

 

She smiled haughtily. “A date for the prom. You taken?”

 

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Yeah.”

 

“Let me guess…” She leaned up on her toes and whispered in his ear. “Seth?”

 

Ryan took a step back and glared down at her. “What the hell do you want?” Ryan repeated.

 

“Does it bother you? Getting your brother’s sloppy seconds?”

 

Ryan curled his fingers into a fist. While he’d never hit a girl, there was always a first time.

 

He leaned down into her face. “Watch what you say about Seth, bitch.”

 

Jess’s eyes widened with mock-fear. “Ohhh, protective of the little girlfriend, aren’t we?”

 

“I’d be worried about myself right about now, if I were you,” Ryan warned.

 

She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t threaten me, little brother. Big brother and I are pretty close. And I know a little bit more than you’d like me to.”

 

He hadn’t realized that Jess knew so much about Seth and him. He wondered just what exactly Trey had told her. He also hadn’t realized how much she might know about the details of what happened between Seth and Trey. Right now, it was knowledge that he had wanted practically since he’d returned from spring break. And while he honestly didn’t care what she knew about his relationship with Seth, especially since they had pretty much already outted themselves with their little fight in the quad yesterday, he did want answers.

 

“Okay,” Ryan began. “You think you have the story… I’d love to hear it.”

 

Jess smiled smugly and leaned into him, shaking her head. “Nope. Sorry. You’ll have to ask your brother. Although I don’t think he’s too anxious to share since he took off for Chino last night.”

 

Ryan leaned forward. “You’d better not be screwing with me.”

 

“Apparently, I’m the only one who’s not. Though if you change your mind about your little boyfriend…” She laughed loud and left him standing in the hallway with a whole new set of concerns: Trey took off to Chino and didn’t tell him and Jess probably knows way too much than she should about Seth and Trey. 

 

Shit!

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan walked in to the bar and scoped it out for Trey. It had been a long time since he’d been here. Although he had been and still was underage, that never stopped him from coming in. Besides, it wasn’t as if the owner cared to begin with.

 

He saw Trey by the pool table, racking up the balls and joined him.

 

Trey looked up, a flash of panic flickered across his face. But he covered it quickly. “Hey, Ry. Good to see ya, man.”

 

Ryan sighed. “Cut the crap, Trey. You got something you want to tell me?”

 

“Meaning?”

 

“About Seth?”

 

Trey looked down and tossed the ball frame on the table. “All right. Let’s, uh, take a seat. Get a drink.”

 

They walked over to the bar. “Uh, two Seven Sevens,” Trey requested as he sat down. Looking over at Ryan, he amended. “Uh, one Seven Seven and one just Seven,” he pointed to Ryan.

 

Ryan sat on the stool and stared pointedly at Trey, silently demanding an explanation.

 

He watched Trey sigh. “Look. When you were gone on that retreat thing, Seth and I, we got drunk together.”

 

“And you came onto him.”

 

“Why do you always assume that it’s my fault?” Trey asked, annoyed.

 

Ryan rolled his eyes. “’Cause it always is.”

 

“Well, anyway… we were both wasted. Really wasted. On the beach. And your guy, he can drink, but he can’t hold his liquor.”

 

Ryan frowned. He knew that much was true. It normally didn’t take that much to get Seth drunk. Not that Seth got drunk all that often. But the few times Ryan had seen him drunk, it hadn’t taken more than a few drinks.

 

“Look. I’m sorry, Ryan. But he threw himself at me.”

 

Ryan snorted and stared at Trey skeptically. “I don’t believe you.”

 

Trey sighed. “Look. He and I agreed not to tell you because we thought it would be better if you didn’t know.”

 

Ryan shook his head; the angry words of Seth accusing Ryan of not trusting him warred with his brother’s words. “There’s no way.”

 

He wanted nothing more to believe everything that Seth told him earlier, but Trey sounded so convincing. And… how could he not believe his own brother? Ryan was so confused; he didn’t know what to do.

 

Quietly he asked, “You swear?”

 

Trey looked him in the eye. “On mom.”

 

Ryan’s chest tightened. Oh god! How could he not believe his brother? He looked into Trey’s eyes, silently begging for the truth. But he didn’t wanting to hear this particular truth from Trey. Because that would mean that Seth had lied to him and that was unacceptable.

 

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Ryan. Not about this. I… we just didn’t want to hurt you, Ry. I’m sorry.”

 

Ryan could feel tears well up in his eyes and jumped off the stool. “I gotta go.”

 

Trey stood as well. “Ryan. Man, I’m so sorry.” 

 

But Ryan didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear anything. He’d just had his worst fear confirmed. 

 

Seth had lied to him.

 

He left the bar and started walking down the street. He didn’t care where he was going. He just had to get out of there. He couldn’t look at Trey and see his worst fear confirmed. He didn’t want to believe that Seth would actually lie to him about this. Not about this.

 

He stopped at a random corner and pull out his cell phone. Dialing Seth’s number by heart, he was thankful that he got Seth’s voice mail.

 

“Seth, hey, it’s me. I’m, uh, I’m stuck in traffic and I’m not sure when I’m gonna be back in Newport. I’m not gonna make the movie tonight. Sorry.” He hung up feeling worse than ever before. He hated lying to Seth, but under the circumstances, he felt he was justified.

 

God! Trey had sworn on their mother that it had been Seth who had initiated the ‘hook up’. Swore on their mother! But even still, there was a small part in his brain that was having a hard time believing Trey even after the confession.

 

Brother or lover.

 

Lover or brother.

 

Two people who should never, ever lie to you… ever. But when one of them does… who do you believe?

 

He flicked the phone shut and turned to walk back to the car.

 

“Ryan?” A female voice called out and Ryan turned around.

 

“Theresa?” She was standing at the opposite street corner, grocery bag in hand.

 

He crossed the street and met her, small smile on his lips. “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” she responded, pushing the bag aside.

 

He leaned down to hug her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Here, let me get that for you.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“So, what’re you doing back, huh?” He asked as they walked down the street.

 

“I’m visiting my mom for the weekend. Believe it or not, I miss it here. I mean, it might not be paradise, but it’s home.”

 

“And Atlanta?”

 

“It’s fun… for now.”

 

“You know, I wrote you all those letters.”

 

“I know,” she acknowledged. “I needed a clean break.”

 

“Or you were mad ‘cuz I left.”

 

“I wanted you to leave. You belong in Newport. I mean… Which doesn’t explain, why are you back here?”

 

“Trey.”

 

“He’s outta jail?”

 

“Yeah. He crashed with the Cohens for a little while and everything was going good, then…”

 

“Let me guess? Trey got into trouble.”

 

“He hooked up with Seth,” he admitted before he could keep his mouth shut.

 

“You and Seth?” Theresa asked, though the lack of shock in her voice surprised Ryan.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Ryan confirmed.

 

“Wow!”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It’s about time.”

 

Ryan stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, stunned. “Huh?”

 

Theresa stopped a few feet in front of him and turned around. “It’s about time,” she repeated with a small smile on her face.

 

“Uh…”

 

Theresa walked back to him and hooked her arm through his, propelling him forward. “C’mon, Ryan. Anyone with eyes could see how much the two of you were in love.”

 

“What?!” Ryan’s eyes widened in shock.

 

She stopped and turned to him. “Ryan. He left Newport because of you. Because of you. And he let you go because he loved you.” With each word, Ryan’s eyes grew bigger and bigger. He couldn’t believe that he’d never seen this before. He couldn’t believe that everyone else could. Love really was blind. And deaf. And dumb. And… 

 

…stupid.

 

How could he honestly believe that Seth could or would cheat on him? With his own brother, no less. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

But…

 

Trey did swear on their mom.

 

“And Trey hooked up with Seth?” Theresa interrupted his thoughts, disbelief evident in her words.

 

Ryan stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Well, Trey says Seth came on to him. Seth says nothing happened. I don’t… I don’t know who to believe,” he admitted in a whisper.

 

“I do.”

 

Ryan frowned, figuring she’d choose Trey since they’ve known each other most of their lives. “Who?”

 

“Ryan,” she began. “Trey’s been jerking you around your entire life. I mean… and Seth…”

 

“What?”

 

“He would never hurt you like that.”

 

Ryan frowned. “How do you know?”

 

“Didn’t you just hear what I said?” Theresa said exasperated. “Last year, when I needed you, you know, he let you go, even though it broke his heart. And they both love you, but, of the two of them? Seth is the one you can trust.”

 

Ryan blinked, baffled. He could have sworn that Theresa would have sided with Trey. Especially after finding out that the new love of Ryan’s life was a guy. But apparently Theresa knew long before he did that Seth was more important to him than anything.

 

Including her.

 

He was sure that it didn’t help that he had dropped everything last summer and went to Portland to get Seth to come home. He even left on a day where he was supposed to accompany her to the doctor’s office for her check up. It had been her last check up, too. While Ryan had been flying up to Portland to bring Seth home, Theresa had found out she’d lost the baby. Ryan still felt somewhat guilty for feeling relief after getting her phone call. He didn’t want a kid… he was just a kid himself. Plus, deep down, he knew his place wasn’t with Theresa. Baby or no baby. His place was with Seth.

 

He remembered going out to the taxi, ready to leave Seth behind in Portland. But at the last minute, he knew he couldn’t go. Not without Seth. If Seth hadn’t met him at the door and told him that he was ready to go back to Newport with Ryan… Ryan had been prepared to stay in Portland. With Seth.

 

Apparently, Ryan’s feelings for Seth had taken root long before he had found the notebook of Seth’s drawing of him. But how much longer, he still wasn’t sure.

 

It was sad that he was only now realizing the depth of his feelings for Seth; and finding out from Theresa the depth of Seth’s feeling for him. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized she was right. Seth could have begged him to stay. But he didn’t. He loved Ryan enough to let him go.

 

And Theresa had known all along.

 

“Well, this is me,” Theresa said, breaking into his broody thoughts, pointing to a small house in the middle of the block.

 

“Ah. Is your mom in? I’d like to say ‘hello’,” Ryan said, moving towards the steps to the house.

 

“Yeah, but, um, it’s getting kinda late.”

 

“All right. Let me help you in.”

 

Theresa took the bag from Ryan. “No. It’s okay. I got it.”

 

“Yeah? You sure?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“’Kay.”

 

“Talk to Seth, you know? Make this right.”

 

“Yeah, I will.”

 

“Okay.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Take care.”

 

She was just about ready to go inside, when Ryan spoke up. “Theresa?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Thanks. For everything.”

 

Theresa smiled and nodded, disappearing behind the door.

 

He watched her go into the house and turned around to leave. He felt much better after talking to Theresa than he’d felt in a long time.

 

He knew she was completely right about Trey. It was shocking, though, to hear her speak so candidly about Seth. Strange how she knew how Seth felt about him long before he’d ever figured it out. But, then again, if it hadn’t been for the sketch pad, he probably would still be in the dark.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

He was in his room sulking. He’d gotten Ryan’s message while he was standing in line getting their tickets! and knew that something had happened… again. He wasn’t sure what, but he knew that the message was about as fake as the people of Newport.

 

Traffic jam? Please. Okay, so, yeah… that was conceivable. Cuz the 405 is a parking lot twenty-four seven. But where would Ryan have gone that would get him stuck in traffic when he knew that they were going to the movies? Unless he didn’t want to go to the movies in the first place and was just making an excuse. Totally wouldn’t be a surprise anymore. Nothing was a surprise lately.

 

Seth closed his eyes and listened to his iPod, though for the first time in quite awhile, he wasn’t paying that much attention to the songs.

 

And to make matters worse, tonight was prom. Not that they had intended on going or anything. Seth doubted that Newport was ready for the obligatory ‘gay-couple’ about town. Harbor High certainly wasn’t. Especially if the taunts of ‘fag’ and ‘queer’ most of his life were any indication. Oh! And especially if Luke’s dad’s outing were any indication.

 

Besides, he’d heard the comments and snickers when he and Ryan fought in the middle of the quad at school the other day. Outing yourselves with a ‘lovers quarrel’ was bad enough. Showing up at prom together would have been disastrous.

 

But the movie was gonna be their ‘prom’. At least, insofar, as it was going to be their date… their special Seth/Ryan time. Something that Seth had needed since things with he and Ryan had been a little intense lately. It certainly didn’t help that the tension between them was because his boyfriend’s brother tried to force himself on him.

 

Seth shook his head and sighed.

 

Giving up on the music, Seth shut off his iPod and sat up, putting his MP3 on the bedside table.

 

“Seth.”

 

Seth looked up and saw Ryan at the end of his bedroom hallway. Ryan looked part kicked-puppy and part determined. Odd combination.

 

“Ryan,” Seth answered flatly.

 

Ryan walked over to the bed and sat down next to Seth. Seth looked down as his hand was taken and clutched in a cold grip.

 

“Sorry I missed the movie.”

 

Seth studied Ryan. Ryan seemed genuine enough. The look in Ryan’s blue eyes shown with a depth of trust and complete love that Seth had not seen for… well, since spring break. It was as though Ryan had come to some sort of conclusion from what had gone on between Trey and Seth and it had been figured out to his satisfaction. But what shocked Seth the most was… there were actual tears in Ryan’s eyes. It made his earlier anger vanish completely.

 

“I’m sorry about the… the ‘traffic’ thing,” Ryan admitted, lowering his eyes.

 

Seth thumbed the damp lashes and smiled a real smile for the first time in days while squeezing Ryan’s fingers tight.

 

Seth shuddered as Ryan lay his head down on Seth’s shoulder, nose nuzzling the side of his neck.

 

Seth rested his head on top of Ryan’s. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

 

Ryan dislodged his fingers from Seth and wrapped his arms around Seth’s waist, holding tightly.

 

“I love you,” Ryan whispered brokenly and Seth’s body trembled at the soft words.

 

“I love you, too.”

 

“I’m so sorry… for everything,” Ryan muttered against Seth’s skin, moist breath warming Seth’s flesh.

 

“It’s okay,” Seth forgave, nose rubbing in Ryan’s hair.

 

He felt Ryan shake his head against his throat. “No. It’s not.” Ryan raised his head and looked deeply into Seth’s eyes… as though he were willing Seth to believe him. “It’s not okay, Seth. There should never be any doubt EVER on how much I should trust you. I didn’t and I’m sorry.”

 

Seth thumbed Ryan’s cheek, drying the damp skin from the tears. “I would never betray you, Ryan. Never.”

 

He watched as Ryan swallowed nervously and tears welled up in his eyes again, obscuring the blueness. It was like looking into the depth of the ocean. 

 

“I know that. Now,” Ryan answered. “But there should never have been any doubt in the first place. I’m so sorry.”

 

Seth nodded his understanding but continued to try to relieve Ryan of his self-recrimination. “He’s your brother. I…”

 

“I don’t care!” Ryan practically shouted. Seth’s eyes widened at the vehemence in Ryan’s voice. “He’s been out of my life for two years. And he thinks he can just show up and everything would go back to the way it was.” Ryan brushed his fingers gently down Seth’s jaw. “I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. I like how things are now.”

 

Seth’s smile could have powered downtown Los Angeles. As it was, he leaned over and gently brushed his lips over Ryan’s. “I like how things are now, too,” he whispered.

 

They sat for several minutes, holding each other. Ryan buried his face against Seth’s neck again and Seth sighed, not realizing how much he’d missed this. This closeness was something that had been sorely lacking for the past several days. Finally, Seth scooted back to lay full length on the bed. 

 

Not taking his face from its hiding place, Ryan followed him, body pressed tight to Seth’s. And once stretched out, Ryan threw a leg over Seth’s thigh and pulled himself even closer. It was a change from their usual position, but Seth was definitely not complaining. He loved it when Ryan let him hold him.

 

Seth slid a hand in Ryan’s hair, fingers gently playing with the soft blond strands. His other hand reached over and grasped Ryan’s, weaving their fingers together. Seth slowly brought Ryan’s fingers up to his lips and lightly kiss each digit before resting them on his chest over his heart.

 

Seth felt at ease for the first time in a long time.

 

* * * * *

 

The next day, Seth woke to find Ryan curled up around to him: Ryan’s chest plastered all along Seth’s back. Oops! He really hoped that no one had gone out to check on Ryan during the night or tried to wake him up this morning. They would have found an empty pool house. As it was, Seth was convinced, or rather he was trying to convince himself, that they could explain Ryan in his room as nothing more than a study session that went too long.

 

He hoped.

 

Seth decided that he would kill to wake up like this every single morning for the rest of his life. It felt so good; he seriously had reservations about getting up at all.

 

Ryan had his nose buried at the base of Seth’s neck, warm breath skimming across the fine hairs.

 

Ryan’s arm rested over Seth’s waist, fingers laced with Seth. Seth brought their hands up from his stomach to his chest, pressing their hands against his heart.

 

He heard Ryan groan and snuffle against him.

 

Seth smiled contentedly but turned around anyway. Bright, sleepy eyes peeled open and regarded him. Seth bent his head down to lightly brush his lips over Ryan’s. It was a gentle closed-mouth kiss that still brought a smile to both boys’ faces.

 

“Hey,” Seth said quietly.

 

“Hey,” Ryan answered, burrowing closer to Seth’s warm body.

 

“Mmm, Ryan. I think we should probably get up.”

 

Seth grinned as Ryan moaned and shook his head; face still buried in the curve of his neck. “Nooooooo,” Ryan whined.

 

Seth whispered. “Ryan. It’s morning. We have to get to school.”

 

Seth laughed as Ryan quickly sat up and took in his surroundings for the first time that morning.

 

“Holy shit! I spent the night with you.”

 

Seth’s grin widened. “Yes. You did. And may I say that it was the best night’s sleep, like, ever?”

 

Ryan looked down at Seth and gave him a soft smile. “Yes, you may.” Ryan leaned over and kissed Seth again before jumping up from the bed. “But I’d better get down and change before school.” He ran his fingers through his hair and scratched his head. “God, I hope Sandy and Kirsten aren’t wake yet.”

 

Seth got up and followed Ryan down the stairs.

 

* * * * *

 

Instead of going through the kitchen, Ryan went around through the sitting (i.e. PlayStation) room, hoping that neither Cohens were up yet.

 

Seth split up with Ryan at the foot of the stairs and went directly to the kitchen for breakfast.

 

Both boys froze when they spotted Sandy sitting in Seth’s usual spot at the kitchen island, mug gripped tightly in his hand.

 

Oh, man, we are so busted, Seth thought before he went to the cupboard for some cereal. Just act cool and everything will be all r—

 

“Boys,” Sandy said, looking up at Seth and gesturing behind him for Ryan to come around to join Seth.

 

Seth put the cereal box down and gulped hard. This was it. They were busted. They were going to have the, ‘We’re very disappointed in you’ talk and then they were going to forbid him from seeing Ryan again and make Ryan move out of the house and…

 

He felt Ryan step close to him and took comfort in Ryan’s nearness. 

 

“Seth.” Seth gulped again when Sandy looked up into his eyes. “There’s just no easy way to say this,” Sandy muttered. “Your grandfather… He passed away last night.”

 

Seth froze and looked at his dad blankly. He couldn’t have heard correctly, could he? Grandpa was gone? He just saw him, like, a few days ago. Or was it last night? He suddenly couldn’t remember.

 

“H—“ Seth cleared his throat. “Um, how?”

 

Sandy got up and stood in front of his sons. “Heart attack.”

 

Seth looked down. He was in shock. After last night, Seth had thought that things were starting to get better. But they weren’t. They were just going from bad to worse and Seth was having a hard time keeping up. He felt a hand on his back and knew it was Ryan, but he couldn’t acknowledge his presence. Everything was just too…

 

He felt a hand cup the side of his face and looked up in the sad eyes of his father. “I’m sorry, son.”

 

“Yeah. Um…”

 

“I called the school and told them you boys wouldn’t be in today,” Sandy said.

 

Seth nodded numbly. “Okay.”

 

Almost in a fog, he watched his dad turn to Ryan. “Why don’t you…” He gestured his head up the stairs. Ryan merely nodded and put his arm around Seth’s shoulder. 

 

“C’mon,” Ryan coerced.

 

Seth shuffled on suddenly deadened legs out of the kitchen and up to his room. He heard the door close softly behind him as he sat down heavily on the bed. A weight was next to him in an instant and he brought watery eyes up to Ryan’s face.

 

“Um…” Seth tried to say something, but for the first time in a long time, he couldn’t think of anything to say.

 

Ryan slid a hand to the back of Seth’s head and brought his lips to Seth’s forehead. “I am so sorry,” he heard Ryan whisper against his skin. He just nodded and felt his head being pressed down gently to Ryan’s shoulder.

 

Seth sniffed before burying his head under Ryan’s jaw… much like Ryan usually did with him. Except now, it wasn’t for making out, but for comfort.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

God! Would this never end? Ryan gently carded his fingers through Seth’s soft curls, unconsciously rocking them slightly on the bed. As he felt the tension slowly seep out of Seth, he decided that perhaps they should get a bit more comfortable. 

 

Gently dislodging Seth from his shoulder, Ryan scooted back on the bed until he was propped up against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him. He reached out an arm and Seth slowly crawled over to him, snuggling up and gluing himself to Ryan’s right side, head resting on Ryan’s chest. An arm slid over his stomach and the hand curled under his left side.

 

Ryan tangled his fingers in Seth’s hair and held him close.

 

There really were no words for the kind of news they received that morning. They had gotten up and the only worry on their minds was getting caught by the parents. Instead, Seth found out that his grandfather had died the night before.

 

Ryan felt so bad for Seth. Because while Caleb Nichol may have been The Asshole of Newport Beach, and practically everybody hated him, he was very close to his grandson and a lot of people just couldn’t fathom that.

 

One person in particular was Marissa. She continually bitched about what a bastard Caleb was. Often times in front of Seth. She never cared that her biting words probably hurt Seth more often than not. But Seth usually never said anything, letting Marissa and her self-involvement rule the conversation. But Ryan could tell that it bothered him. Seth was just too nice to say anything. Which was a one eighty from when they first met two years ago. Seth couldn’t stop snarking at Marissa any time he could. Ryan was sure that Seth stopped because of him. It usually wasn’t too cool to bad-mouth your best friend’s girlfriend. 

 

And now, Caleb was gone. And that hurt Seth. And what hurt Seth, hurt Ryan.

 

It was true that there was no love loss between Caleb and Ryan. Hell, there was no love loss between Caleb and pretty much everyone in Newport, up to and including his own son-in-law. But that didn’t mean that Ryan wished ill on him. If nothing else because he knew how close Seth was to his grandfather.

 

He smiled remembering how Caleb always tried to get Seth interested in the family business… telling him that he would one day take over. Seth would deny it over and over and then tell Ryan later that if he did have to take over, he would just hand it over to Ryan anyway, since Ryan was the one interested in all that building stuff in the first place. Ryan would laugh it off, but he knew Seth was telling the truth. Besides, Ryan had a feeling that Kirsten would hand it off to Ryan before Seth could. 

 

Did that make him conceited? Considering The Newport Group retreat he and Kirsten just went on… no. Just truthful. 

 

And now, with Caleb gone, he was sure of it. It was a pretty daunting thought to think about.

 

Ryan kept having to pinch himself periodically to make sure he wasn’t dreaming this strange life he found himself in for the past two years. A few years ago, Ryan’s only dream was trying to make it to the age of seventeen. And if that happened, then he wanted to at least finish high school. He knew that he was destined to probably work construction for the rest of his life, but at least he had that.

 

Now, after moving in with the Cohens, he had the ability to dream in the long term. Not only would he make it to seventeen, but eighteen and beyond. He would not only finish high school, but more than likely be able to go to college and maybe go further. He would be able to study his dream of architecture and when he graduated, he was sure that he would have a career with the family business. And, yes, maybe even take over the family business one day.

 

The Nichol’s family business. 

 

His family’s business.

 

And while that was more probable than yesterday, Ryan didn’t want it to happen in the way that it did—with Caleb dying.

 

Ryan looked down and saw that Seth’s eyes were still opened, but the normally soft brown eyes were dull and glassy as they stared at nothing across the room. Ryan wanted to say something, but there was nothing more to say than what he already had; and that was that he was sorry. Ryan knew the best thing he could do for Seth right now was just be with him, support him. Besides, Ryan was better without words anyway. He could be strong. He could be the rock that Seth needs. He had already committed himself to that role long before today. 

 

He squeezed Seth’s shoulder with his upper arm and continued to thread his fingers gently through Seth’s curls.

 

* * * * *

 

It was just after noon and Ryan and Seth were still in Seth’s room. Seth had fallen asleep a few hours ago, face pressed tightly to the side of Ryan’s chest and a leg tossed over one of Ryan’s. Every once in awhile, Seth would mumble in sorrow and Ryan would have to soothe Seth from whatever it was he was dreaming about, but for the most part, the morning had been quiet.

 

Ryan had found a book on the night table, “Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs” and was reading that when he heard a noise in the room and looked over to see Sandy in the room, looking down at them.

 

Color flooded Ryan’s cheeks. The fear from this morning coming back. He knew they couldn’t get out of this… Sandy had seen too much. They were caught. He just hoped they weren’t in too much trouble.

 

“Uh…”

 

Sandy grinned ruefully and sat down on the bed next to Seth.

 

“He okay?” He reached out to brush Seth’s forehead.

 

“He finally fell asleep a few hours ago.”

 

Sandy nodded then looked up at Ryan.

 

“Sandy, I…”

 

Sandy shook his head. “You don’t need to explain.”

 

Ryan frowned. He was unconsciously gripping and releasing Seth’s hair in his fist. Seth moaned and rubbed his nose on Ryan’s side, reflexively squeezing his chest with his arm. Ryan looked down and noticed what he was doing and immediately relaxed his fist.

 

He looked over and Sandy was grinning at him. Ryan was relieved not to see any anger in Sandy’s eyes, but he was still leery.

 

“But…”

 

Sandy patted Ryan’s elbow gently. “It wasn’t too hard to figure out when Seth took off last summer after you left.”

 

“But we… I mean this… It… hasn’t been very long.”

 

Sandy arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

 

Ryan was shocked at Sandy’s surprise. “Yeah. Um, five months or so.”

 

“Huh. Kirsten and I could have sworn it was before last summer.”

 

Ryan’s eyes widened. “What?!” 

 

Seth snuffled against him and a brown eye peered blurrily up at him. “Hmm?”

 

Sandy leaned over Seth and whispered in his ear. “Nothing, son. Ryan and I are just having a small discussion.”

 

“Mmm,” Seth acknowledged before closing his eye and relaxing.

 

Suddenly Seth tensed and sat up, twisting his body around to face his highly amused father. “Dad! Um, we, um, were just, uh…”

 

Ryan leaned close and whispered in Seth’s ear. “He knows.”

 

Seth whipped around to Ryan. “He…”

 

Ryan nodded. “Knows.”

 

Seth turned to Sandy. “Um…”

 

Sandy smiled and ruffled Seth’s hair. “Ryan was just telling me that this is all new for you boys.”

 

“Da-aaad!” Seth whined, burying his now burning cheeks in his hands.

 

Sandy looked passed Seth at Ryan with amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Yeah. Your mother and I thought it had been going on since at least last year.”

 

“DA-AAAAD!” Seth shrieked, glaring at his father.

 

Ryan couldn’t help it. He was finding it very hard to suppress a smile. He was extremely glad that Sandy wasn’t upset. In fact, it looked like his guardians knew about them before they did. Or at least before Ryan did. But this wasn’t entirely a new thing. Ryan was finding that a lot of people knew about them before he did. 

 

Sandy became serious as he looked at his son. “How are you doing? Really.”

 

Seth looked down, face going from red to pale in a matter of seconds. He shrugged a shoulder. “Okay, I guess.”

 

Ryan placed a hand on Seth’s back, fingers curling into Seth’s t-shirt.

 

“Well, we’ve called Hailey. She should be in tomorrow. I’m helping your mom with the arrangement. The funeral will be in a couple of days. I’ve contacted the school to let them know you boys won’t be in for a few days.”

 

Ryan looked quizzically at Sandy. While he knew why Seth might stay home, he didn’t understand why they would let him. Sandy saw his look and just tilted his head towards Seth, who was looking down at the bedding and didn’t see the exchange between the two.

 

Seth looked up. “How’s mom?”

 

“She’s taking this pretty hard, but she’ll get through it.” Sandy cupped Seth’s cheek. “We all will.”

 

Seth nodded his head in his dad’s hand and sighed.

 

“Is there anything we can do?” Ryan asked, feeling out of sorts.

 

“Not right now,” Sandy replied. “Just… take care of each other.”

 

Seth flushed. “Daaad.” But there was no real heat this time.

 

Ryan nodded and watched as Sandy left the room.

 

Seth leaned against Ryan’s chest and continued to stare straight ahead. “Well, that was strange and awkward.”

 

Ryan wrapped his arms around Seth and pulled him closer, resting his chin on Seth’s shoulder. “Yeah, it was.”

 

They stayed that way for awhile until Ryan scooted backwards to rest against the headboard. He dragged Seth with him, settling him between his legs, back to chest.

 

Seth bent his head back to relax against Ryan’s collarbone, turning his head so that his forehead leaned against Ryan’s jaw. Seth wrapped his arms around Ryan’s which were circled around Seth’s waist.

 

Seth sighed. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”

 

Ryan kissed Seth on his hair. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Seth nodded his head, hair catching on Ryan’s chin. “I know. Thanks.”

 

“You want to do anything? Maybe get out of the house?”

 

Seth shook his head and buried his head in the curve of Ryan’s throat. “Not right now.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Ryan held Seth until he felt Seth’s body relax against him. And continued to hold him as Seth slept into the afternoon.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

He woke up alone the morning of the funeral. The past few days had been very surreal, like he was living in a fog. He and Ryan spent an inordinate amount of time together, but that really wasn’t too different than normal.

 

Summer and Zach came to see him, checking up on him. He was grateful for his friends even if those two pretty much summed up his list of friends.

 

Hailey arrived yesterday and tried to keep his mom busy. He was grateful for his aunt, too, since he really didn’t know what to say to his mom. He guessed he felt with his mom the way Ryan felt with him: not knowing what to say, but wanting to be there nonetheless.

 

He ran into his mom as he was coming down the stairs, both in their bathrobes.

 

“Hey,” he said.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Everything okay?”

 

“I’ve been better,” she clutched at her coffee cup.

 

“Sorry about everything,” he said, wrapping the robe tighter around himself.

 

She gave him a small smile. “That’s okay, sweetie. He loved you very much.” She reached out and cupped his cheek lovingly.

 

He shrugged. “Yeah. I’m gonna miss him.”

 

“Need anything?”

 

“No.” He looked around then back at his mom. “I’m just looking for my cell phone charger. My battery’s dead.”

 

“Might be a charger in your dad’s office,” she suggested. “I’m gonna get ready.”

 

“’Kay.” Seth nodded and made his way to his dad’s study.

 

He was unpleasantly surprised not to find a charger. Instead he found a pamphlet for a rehab center.

 

Now what? He thought numbly.

 

He took the brochure out to the pool house.

 

“Hey,” Ryan greeted as he turned around from opening a door.

 

“Hi.”

 

“How are you doing?”

 

“Well, I was depressed. Now I’m depressed and confused.” He handed the brochure to Ryan.

 

“A rehab center? Where’d you get this?”

 

“My dad’s office. I… don’t think he’s trying to kick bagels.”

 

Ryan looked past Seth. “I don’t think it’s for your dad.”

 

Seth turned around and followed Ryan’s line of sight and watched his mom close a shade over the French door. He sighed audibly and dropped his chin to his chest. He felt Ryan at his back and leaned into him.

 

“I can’t…”

 

“Shh, I know.” Ryan slid an arm around Seth’s waist, pulling him closer.

 

Seth turned around in the circle of Ryan’s arms and lowered his head on Ryan’s shoulder. “When did my life become a day-time soap?”

 

“You live in the O.C. It’s always been a bit sudsy.”

 

Seth looked up with a hint of humor in his eyes. “I’m rubbing off on you.” The grin barely made it to his sad eyes though, and he felt Ryan lean forward and touch their lips together.

 

“I hope so,” Ryan whispered.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

It was hard sitting next to Seth in the second pew of the church and not be able to reach out and touch him, console him.

 

Several people spoke at Caleb’s service, but none spoke more true than Sandy, who said that while Caleb had been a bad father-in-law, he did love his family very much. Ryan watched as Seth reached out an arm and placed a hand on Kirsten’s shoulder. He felt that they should have been sitting up with her, supporting her, but he was sure there was some Newport protocol that forbid children in the front row… or something.

 

He was behind Sandy as they lifted the casket and moved it down the aisle, taking it to the waiting limousine for transport to the cemetery grounds. Seth was on the other side across from Sandy; both Sandy and Seth leading the way.

 

Surprisingly enough, this was Ryan first funeral. Sure he’d known people who’d died. You can’t have lived in Chino and not. But it was the first time that he had attended a funeral service, much less be a part of one: moving the casket to the limo, then moving it from the limo to the base over the grave site. 

 

It was all very peculiar to him. And during all of this, he seriously wanted to take Seth aside and just hold him close and never let him go.

 

Seth had been pretty spacey since finding out about his grandfather. Between whatever happened with Trey, then his mom getting in a car accident, then his grandfather, and now his mom with the possible drinking problem, Ryan was surprised Seth was holding it together as well as he was. Ryan would catch Seth staring blankly at nothing before blinking himself out of wherever he’d gone.

 

Seth really hadn’t said anything all day and when the family got back to the house, it was packed with people from the community. Apparently this was something else Ryan didn’t know about: after a funeral, everyone came over to the grieving family’s house and ate and drank and commiserated late into the night.

 

He stood with Marissa in the throngs of people, trying to locate Seth who had disappeared in the crowd a few minutes before.

 

Finally, Seth returned. “Okay, I have officially talked to every pillar in the community. I’m sick of pillars.”

 

Ryan tried to smile. “’Least you don’t have everyone asking you if you’re the guy who burned down Caleb’s model home and caused him to have his first heart attack.”

 

And, of course, Marissa being Marissa, couldn’t let this moment go by without making it about her. “Yeah, well, everyone’s looking at me like I’m the grieving step-daughter.”

 

Ryan glared at her. The fact that Seth didn’t make any kind of biting remark told Ryan just how far removed Seth really was.

 

“I don’t think the guy could stand me,” she whined as an extra bonus.

 

“Okay,” Seth started, clearly ignoring Marissa’s self-absorption. “Where’s Summer? Is she smoking the salmon herself?” They looked around, but couldn’t find their friend. 

 

Ryan turned to Seth and could tell the entire atmosphere was getting to him. “You guys want to hide in the pool house?”

 

“Oh, so bad,” Seth sighed and turned around. Thankfully, Marissa was in front of them. Ryan used the opportunity to place a hand on the small of Seth’s back. He felt Seth lean into him slightly and was relieved that Seth was coherent enough to acknowledge him.

 

Ryan and Seth sat at the foot of the bed, PlayStation controllers in hand when Summer came to the door several minutes later, sans salmon.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Seth answered.

 

“Um, funeral food is, like, so depressing. I thought maybe we could go get some chili-fries and, um, stop by The Bait Shop or something?”

 

Ryan answered for everyone. “Good idea.” He and Seth dropped their controllers and followed Summer out of the pool house.

 

* * * * *

 

The Bait Shop was packed when they arrived. 

 

As Seth led them down the stairs, he asked no one in particular. “Do I still even work here? I should find out for tax purposes.”

 

After everyone arrived at the bottom of the stairs, Seth glance to the bar and visibly sagged. “You have got to be kidding me. This day just keeps getting better and better.”

 

Trey was there.

 

Ryan moved up beside Seth, Summer bracketing him.

 

Ryan glared as Trey stood up and greeted them. “Heeey, man, I’m so sorry about your grandfather.”

 

“Yeah, thanks,” Seth murmured, totally ignoring the outstretched hand.

 

“What are you doing here?” Ryan asked.

 

“I came by to pick up my paycheck.”

 

Seth glowered. “Paychecks are handed out on Mondays.”

 

Summer looked between Trey and Seth and piped up. “You should know,” she said to Seth. “Though… weren’t you fired?”

 

Trey laughed self-consciously. “Yeah? When was that?”

 

They were saved by, of all people, Jess. Though she lacked the tact god gave rocks. “You guys are all dressed up,” she stated as she slithered up to Trey and wrapped herself around him.

 

“Yeah, we just came from my grandfather’s funeral,” Seth said emotionlessly.

 

“Yeah. Well, he was probably pretty old.” Ryan wanted to wring her neck. She looked up at his brother. “Ready Trey? Bye party people.” She led Trey away.

 

“You guys wanna go maybe grab us some seats?” Seth asked the girls.

 

“Yeah, we’ll get drinks.”

 

“Okay,” Summer said, leading Marissa away.

 

Ryan and Seth stood at the bar waiting for the bartender to wait on them. Seth tried to get the bartender’s attention, but was unsuccessful. “I guess if I still worked here, I could make the drinks myself.”

 

“So how are you, Seth?” Ryan asked. It was the first time all day that he was even remotely alone with Seth and hadn’t been able to ask until now.

 

“Not good. My head’s all over the place. I still haven’t had the chance to talk to my dad.” 

 

Ryan continued to stare at Seth in concern. For Seth to admit he wasn’t doing so well spoke volumes. Ryan decided he was going to have to keep a close eye on Seth in the coming weeks, if only to make sure Seth didn’t completely lose it.

 

Seth was ordering their drinks when something caught Ryan’s eye. He turned and saw a group of guys he’d never seen before come into the club and go to the back… where Jess had led Trey.

 

This couldn’t be good.

 

He made a mental note to keep an eye on things.

 

After getting their drinks, he and Seth made their way to the girls.

 

They sat at their table for long uncomfortable, quiet minutes; none of them really speaking or drinking their drinks when Summer suggested they leave. They were making their way up the stairs when suddenly gun fire exploded in the club. Ryan turned to see Trey and Jess dart through the crowd and run out of the club before the guy he had seen earlier pulled out his own gun and aimed it in the fleeing duos direction. Unfortunately, it was where Ryan, Seth, Summer and Marissa were. 

 

“Get down!” Ryan yelled as bullets began spraying over their heads.

 

When it seemed like it was safe, Ryan asked, “Is everybody okay?”

 

Seth was lying face down on the ground and didn’t rise immediately. It was long enough for Summer to yell, “Cohen!” Seth slowly sat up and blinked sluggishly. “Oh my gosh!” Summer pulled out a tissue from her purse and pressed it to Seth’s head.

 

Seth took the tissue and held it to his forehead. “It’s just some broken glass.”

 

Ryan turned to focus on Seth, grabbing his arm and holding tight; eyes wide with fear of seeing blood drip slowly down the side of Seth’s face. 

 

Oh my god… Seth is hurt! Ryan’s mind screamed. Seth.

 

He helped Seth sit up and shakily took the tissue from Seth’s fingers and pressed it against Seth’s wound. Seth had a streak of red dripping down over his eye and down his cheek. Seth looked at Ryan and closed his eyes, leaning his forehead down on Ryan’s shoulder.

 

“Seth!”

 

Slowly sitting back up and opening his dull brown eyes, Seth peered up at Ryan. “’m okay.” He licked dry lips as he took Ryan’s wrist in his hand. “I’m okay. Really.”

 

Ryan helped Seth stand and, wrapping his arm around Seth’s waist, guided him out of the club. He looked over at Summer gratefully as she moved to the other side of Seth, threading her arm through Seth’s to help him, too. He had completely forgotten the girls were with them… he was so concentrated on Seth.

 

“Guys, I’m okay. Really.” Seth tried to smile at both Summer and Ryan before it turned into a grimace of pain. His left eye blinked several times and Summer took out another tissue to put on the wound which had begun dripping blood in his eye again.

 

They got Seth to the car and Ryan buckled him in to the passenger’s seat while the girls got into the back. Seth had leaned his head against the headrest as Ryan strapped him in. He turned to Ryan as Ryan pulled away and gave him a reassuring smile. Forgetting that at least one person in the car had no clue about his relationship with Seth, Ryan cupped Seth’s jaw and leaned over to gently press his lips against Seth’s.

 

“You okay?” Ryan whispered softly.

 

Seth curved a corner of his mouth and nodded, bringing up his hand and tracing Ryan’s bottom lip. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

 

Ryan studied Seth for a few more seconds before nodding as well. He then closed the door and jogged around to the driver’s side and got in. It took him a few tries to actually get the car started since his hands were shaking so bad, and when he did, he pressed a little too hard on the accelerator, spinning the wheels as they left the parking lot.

 

He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he jerked the steering wheel when Seth reached over and took a hand, grasping it on the seat between them.

 

Ryan vaguely heard a gasp from the back seat, but didn’t think too much of it. He turned to Seth, who had his head on the headrest looking at him with a soft smile.

 

* * * * *

 

The minute they arrived home, Marissa jumped out of the Rover and into her Mustang, peeling away as she left. Ryan and Summer looked over at Seth as he began laughing.

 

Ryan looked over at Summer worriedly. The cut on Seth’s head must have been worse than they had anticipated.

 

“Did you see the look on her face?” Seth asked, leaning heavily against the car. “I would go through all this again just for that one moment.” His laughter died down to snickers and he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, smearing the blood from the wound. “Oh, man!”

 

Summer started laughing, too. “Yeah, it was pretty funny. You should have seen her face when you took Chino’s hand.”

 

“Sorry I missed it,” Ryan remarked sarcastically, reaching out for Seth’s arm and leading him into the house.

 

They got Seth to his room and after Ryan returned from the bathroom with a First Aid kit, Summer fussed over Seth with the bandage. Once she was satisfied, she got up, throwing the cotton balls away and looked back to the bed, sighing.

 

Both boys looked up at her questioningly. They were sprawled out on the bed, Ryan holding Seth against him, Seth’s head cradled in the curve of Ryan’s shoulder.

 

“The two hottest guys in Newport just have to be gay. Why does that always happen?”

 

Ryan rolled his eyes and groaned. 

 

Seth snickered. “I’m gonna tell Zach you said that.”

 

Summer loomed over them, glaring. “Two words, Cohen. Rage. Blackouts.”

 

Ryan clutched Seth tighter to him mock-protectively, eyes sparkling in amusement. “Leave my boyfriend alone.”

 

“You wanna fight, Chino?” Summer arched an eyebrow, fists planted on her hips.

 

Seth crooked his head up and smiled up at Ryan, whispering loudly. “Dude, I think she could totally take you.”

 

Ryan looked Summer up and down and conceded. “You’re probably right.” He looked at Summer apologetically. “Summer, I’m sorry.”

 

She smiled triumphantly. “You’re forgiven.” Leaning down, she gave Seth a kiss near the wound. “Take care of my boy, Chino.”

 

“Yes ma’am,” he saluted as she left the room.

 

They were silent for several minutes before Seth turned in Ryan’s arms and looked up at him.

 

“Boyfriend again, huh?”

 

Ryan smiled shyly. “Um, yeah?”

 

“Is that a question?”

 

“Um, no?”

 

“Well, which is it?”

 

“’Yes’ on the boyfriend, ‘no’ on the question.”

 

“Good answer.” Seth smiled and leaned forward, tenderly kissing Ryan’s lips. “Love you,” he whispered in Ryan’s mouth before laying his head down on Ryan’s chest.

 

* * * * *

 

A few hours later, in the very early hours of the morning and after making sure Seth was sound asleep, Ryan untangled himself from Seth’s body, sneaking down the stairs. He got back into the Rover and drove straight over to Trey’s apartment. He had a few choice words for his brother, especially after what had happened last night.

 

My god, Seth could have been killed tonight! He shook at the intense fury vibrating his body, pounding the hell out of the steering wheel.

 

The Rover screeched to a halt in front of Trey’s apartment and he jumped out of the car, anger directing his feet forward. 

 

He knocked on the door.

 

“Hey,” Trey said, opening the door. “I had a feeling I’d see you.”

 

Ryan pointed inside the room. “Can I come in? Or do you want to do this out here?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah,” Trey gestured for Ryan to enter and closed the door behind him. “You want something to drink, like water or…”

 

“What happened last night?” Ryan demanded.

 

“I was helping Jess out and it got a little out of control, man.”

 

Ryan snorted and turned around to face Trey. “Story of your life, right?”

 

“Yeah, but that was it, man. I told her… I’m done.”

 

“Done,” Ryan repeated incredulously. “I’ve heard that before, too.”

 

“Dude,” Trey began, walking towards Ryan. “I know, but Jess turned out to be a little bit crazier than I expected.”

 

“Oh, really. That’s a surprise considering you met her face down in a pool.”

 

“I screwed up, Ryan. I know that. Whaddya want me to say?”

 

“I don’t want you to say anything. Anymore. We gave it a shot. We tried to make it work…”

 

“I. Swear to god, Ryan…” Trey begged.

 

“I want you out of Newport.”

 

“C—c’mon man! We’re brothers. We’re blood. Granted I got a little more of dad’s bad luck, but…” Trey tried to joke.

 

“Seth was hurt tonight, Trey!” At Trey’s wide-eyed look, Ryan continued. “Yeah, man. That’s right.”

 

“Is… is he okay? I mean, is he all right?” Trey asked nervously. “Was he sh—?”

 

Ryan shook his head. “No, thank god. It was broken glass, but… that’s not the point, Trey. Seth was hurt. He could have been killed. Hell, anyone in the club could have gotten killed.”

 

“Look, Ry, I’m sorry. I really am. Please,” Trey pleaded.

 

“You gotta go, Trey.”

 

They stared at each other, Ryan not backing down and silently demanding that Trey leave. He could tell when Trey realized that he wasn’t going to give in.

 

“Okay,” Trey finally said. “I’ll be gone first thing tomorrow morning.”

 

Ryan walked around Trey towards the door. He could feel the tears burning in his eyes, but couldn’t turn around and take back what he said. He knew it had been building for awhile. But last night… with Seth getting hurt… it was the last and final straw for Ryan. Seth had become much more important than Ryan’s relationship with his brother. 

 

Ryan suspected that Seth had become much more important probably from the very first day they’d met.

 

He was not about to risk Seth. 

 

Not even for his brother.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

The following day Seth was in the kitchen pouring himself a bowl of cereal even though he really had no desire to eat.

 

He saw his dad come in and offered to fix him a bowl.

 

Sandy looked up, “Naw, I’m good, th—“ Noticing the bandage over Seth’s eye, Sandy immediately went to his son. “What happened?” He ran his thumb lightly over the butterfly bandage that held the small cut together.

 

“Fell on some glass at The Bait Shop.”

 

Sandy looked at him incredulously. “’Fell’? On some glass.”

 

Seth looked down at his half bowl of cereal. “Yeah, walking up the stairs, no less.”

 

“Are you all right?” Sandy asked worriedly.

 

“Yeah,” Seth’s voice was very monotone, much like it had been for the past three days.

 

Sandy looked at his son in concern, but let it go… for now.

 

He turned his attention to the baskets of food littering the kitchen. “Boy we got a lot of leftovers. And the food is still arriving by the truckload.”

 

“Yeah, it’s a silver-lining for a funeral,” Seth answered, pushing the cereal box away. “How’s mom? She up yet?”

 

“Yeah, she’s spending the day at a spa with Hailey, getting a little R&R,” Sandy answered.

 

“Well, that’s good. She needs a day to relax. She hasn’t really been too mom-esque lately.”

 

“Well, that’s true. She’s suffering right now.”

 

“Well, she’s really close to grandpa.”

 

“Ah, it’s bigger than that, Seth.”

 

They stared at each other for a long moment before Sandy continued. “Your mother’s got a drinking problem. She needs help.”

 

Seth nodded, clearly unhappy that Sandy was just now bringing this up. “Oh. You mean like that rehab brochure that I found that you just forgot to mention?”

 

“I’ve been waiting for the right time and I’ve been hoping I could do this myself.”

 

“Maybe we can. So she’s drinking. We ask her to stop. We don’t have to send her away.”

 

“She can’t stop. She’s tried.” Sandy moved from the end of the island to stand in front of Seth. “There’s a doctor coming here this afternoon. He’s going to help us stage an intervention.”

 

“What?” Seth just could not believe this was happening to him… to his family. Everything was happening too damned fast. “Why? Is this like an after-school special? Her dad died. She’s sad. She’s having a few drinks.”

 

“This has been going on for a long time. The car accident she had…? Did you know she’d been drinking?”

 

Seth became angry. “No! I didn’t. Because you never told me. You never told me anything until right now and you expect me to help ship her off!”

 

“We’re trying to help her.”

 

Confusion with the situation had Seth turn on his father with a vengeance. “You know? How do I know that you didn’t cause her to drink? Something weird’s been going on with you two all year…”

 

Sandy interrupted. “I get that you’re upset. I’m upset, too.”

 

“Okay, so if your way of showing that you’re upset is shipping her off so you don’t have to deal with her, that’s fine, but I’m not going to be a part of it.”

 

“You are a part of it whether you want to be or not! What? You want to run away again? Get in you boat and sail off?” Seth rolled his eyes. “Your mother needs you!”

 

The two men facing off in the kitchen turned when they hear the front door close and Ryan walked in.

 

“Come on in, Ryan,” Sandy asked. “You should hear this.”

 

Seth couldn’t stand to be in the same room as his father and turned to leave. “Yeah,” he told Ryan with venom. “Apparently mom’s a drunk and today’s the intervention so plan your day accordingly.”

 

* * * * *

 

Sandy had come up to talk to him, trying to convince him to help with his mother. But he just couldn’t. He couldn’t help send her away. It would be, like, the biggest betrayal ever. He was still trying to get over what he’d done to his mom last summer and his dad bringing it up in the kitchen didn’t help matters. Turning his back on her like this… he just couldn’t do it.

 

He sat in his room and thought about what his dad had said. He was thankful that Sandy said that he understood why he couldn’t do it. At least they’d come to some sort of understanding.

 

When had they become that family? The dysfunctional family that everyone else in Newport had already become? If truth be told, the Cohens were unusual because they had a normal relationship. Seth was the only student at Harbor aside from Zach whose parents were still together. There were some kids (Marissa) whose family life was whacked even with the parents together. But, the Coopers had succumbed to the pressures of Newport and Marissa had become a statistic just like Summer and Luke and most of the other kids.

 

Seth didn’t want to see this happen to his family. He didn’t want to have some sordid family secret make them a statistic like everyone else. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was.

 

He realized that that would never happen now. Too much had gone on for anything to go back to the way things had been. 

 

The only bright spot in all of this, at least for him, was Ryan. He had Ryan and he wasn’t about to change that for anything. And Ryan was down there all alone, helping Sandy with this ‘intervention’ thing. Ryan shouldn’t have to do this alone. Hell, he shouldn’t have to do this at all. It was bad enough he’d tried with his own mom… he shouldn’t have to do this with his ‘adopted mom’, too.

 

Seth stood up… he really should be down there with his family. Heaving a deep, heavy sigh, Seth made his way down the stairs.

 

When he got to the edge of the kitchen, he froze when he heard what his mom said to Ryan and flinched in sympathy. His heart broke when he heard Ryan: “Yeah, you did because my own mom couldn’t take care of me because she wouldn’t get help even though I asked her to. I don’t want see that happen again to someone I love.”

 

God! The pain in his voice!

 

Silence hung in the air and Seth was almost convinced that what Ryan had said had become the deciding factor and he was thankful for that. Thankful that he wouldn’t have to say anything.

 

Until, “I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing here. But I. Am. Not. Going.” Kirsten turned around and stopped cold when Seth stood in the kitchen entrance.

 

Seth’s breath caught at the look in his mom’s eyes. He wanted to turn and run. He couldn’t do this! She was his mom, for god’s sake! His mom!! Fighting back the tears, he bit his lip, breath shuddering. “Mom, please, you gotta do this.”

 

It was with some sheer force of will that Seth didn’t break down and cry like a baby. Instead, it was Kirsten who broke down, bowing her head.

 

Sandy quickly came up to her after that and put his arm around her. Seth moved to her right side, sliding an arm around her back, too. He felt his dad pull him closer and was partially aware of Ryan and Hailey coming over to them as well. He felt Ryan’s hand on his arm and was silently grateful for that small support.

 

They soon moved apart as Sandy took Kirsten upstairs to pack. He had no clue where Hailey went, but when Seth felt the back of his knees hitting the couch, he gratefully sank down on it, Ryan pressed close by his side.

 

Seth mindlessly flipped through the channels of the television as Ryan sat beside him, hand tightly gripping his own between them. After thirty minutes or so, Ryan nudged him and Seth looked over in time to see Hailey disappear up the stairs and his mom glance over at them.

 

As they walked up to her, Kirsten’s voice trembled. “I’m so sorry to put you both through this.”

 

“Just get better,” Ryan said.

 

“I will,” she nodded at Ryan then turned her attention to Seth. “You going to be okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He didn’t want his mom to know just how close to losing it he was. The past several weeks and, especially, the last three days were taking its toll, but he was determined not to show that to his mom. She had enough to deal with right now. 

 

“I got the take-out menus cover,” Ryan provided.

 

“I’ll order. I’m good with the phone,” Seth assured.

 

“We’ll be fine, really.” Though Ryan’s voice sounded anything but.

 

“I love you both so much,” Kirsten cried, engulfing them both in her arms. Both boys dropped their heads on her shoulders and fought back tears of their own. They hugged her like they would never see her again, Ryan and Seth’s arms clasping together behind her back.

 

They walked her to the door and watched as she got into the car. Standing at the top of the steps, they waved and watched as the car drove away.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

Ryan looked over at Seth and his heart broke just a little more. Seth was standing dejectedly next to him, watching his mom drive away without a clue as to when he would be seeing her again.

 

He knew what Seth was going through. Insofar as not knowing when he would see his mom again. He’d been there too many times and it killed him that he was going through it again with Kirsten. 

 

He loved her like his own mother. He told her as much earlier. It was hard, but the truth usually was. He just didn’t want to see Kirsten go the way of Dawn. She was so much better than that.

 

They watched until the car was out of sight. And even then, Seth didn’t move. Finally, Ryan turned to Seth and slid an arm around Seth’s waist. “C’mon.”

 

He took Seth up to his room and closed the door behind them. Seth said nothing as Ryan manhandled him to the bed, kneeling down to remove Seth shoes. Toeing off his own shoes, Ryan crawled to the center of the bed and pulled an unresisting Seth into his arms.

 

The room was unnaturally quiet. Seth’s room was never quiet even when Seth himself was. But it was as if the room knew what Seth was going through and mourned with him.

 

About twenty minutes went by before Ryan felt dampness on his chest. He looked down and was dismayed when he saw Seth silently crying. “Ah, Seth.” And it was as if his words caused the dam to burst and Seth’s body started shaking in earnest. Seth crawled up and buried his face in Ryan’s neck, wrapping his arms securely around Ryan’s abdomen. Ryan held tight, curling into Seth, trying to shield Seth with his own body. 

 

Seth cried and cried, the flow not looking like it would stop anytime soon. But Ryan didn’t care. He would have held Seth all night long if he had to. As it was, Seth ended up crying himself to sleep about a half an hour later. He continued to slowly caress Seth’s back soothingly, lips pressed softly in the dark curly hair.

 

The stress of the day finally caught up to Ryan as well and he unwittingly succumbed to the strain and fell asleep.

 

* * * * *

 

He awoke a few hours later to big brown eyes staring down at him.

 

“Hey,” Ryan whispered, rubbing the corner of an eye.

 

“Hey,” Seth murmured. He leaned down and lightly passed his lips over Ryan’s. Pulling back, he tried to smile, though it didn’t come close to reaching his eyes. “Thank you.”

 

Ryan pulled Seth back down and gently skimmed his lips over Seth’s. “You have nothing to thank me for,” Ryan answered, not moving his mouth away from Seth’s.

 

Seth closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Ryan’s chin. “I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t here.”

 

Ryan placed a kiss on Seth’s hairline and rubbed his face against Seth’s stubbled cheek. “I love you, Seth. I’d do anything for you.”

 

He felt Seth smile against his throat and Seth settled down beside him once more.

 

Ryan ran gentle fingers up and down Seth’s arm as the two got comfortable. A leg slid over Ryan’s own and he pulled Seth closer to himself, needing the contact just as much as Seth.

 

* * * * *

 

Later that evening found Seth and Ryan still curled up together on the bed, legs entwined and arms wrapped around each other. Ryan could feel Seth’s eyelashes tickle his collarbone every time Seth blinked.

 

Seth sighed for the millionth time and Ryan leaned his head back to look at him.

 

“You know. We should get out of the house. Hit up an old age home. Some shuffleboard action.”

 

Seth shrugged a shoulder. “I’m not really in the mood for old people.”

 

“IMAX movie? Something with sharks?”

 

A spark of interest flickered in Seth’s eyes. “All right. I like sharks.”

 

Just then, the doorbell rang and Seth buried his face against Ryan, sighing heavily. “The way things have been going, I bet that’s Oliver.”

 

Seth moved to get up but Ryan stopped him.

 

Ryan leaned down and kissed Seth on the forehead. “Stay here, I’ll get it.”

 

Ryan descended the stairs and opened the door.

 

“Hey, Summer.” He moved aside to let her in.

 

“How’s Cohen?”

 

Ryan shrugged before folding his arms across his chest self-protectively. “Dealing. Barely.”

 

“Can I talk to him? I brought him some company.” She held up Princess Sparkle and smiled with a bit of embarrassment.

 

Ryan nodded and gestured to the stairs. “Sure. Go on up. I’m sure he’d love to see you. I’ll let you guys talk. You want anything?”

 

Summer shook her head and went upstairs.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth 

 

“Hey,” Seth said, looking up as Summer came in. After Ryan had left, he’d sprawled out star-fished on his bedspread in the middle of the mattress, staring up at the ceiling.

 

“Hey, Cohen.” Summer walked into Seth’s room and sat down on the edge of the bed next to Seth’s head. “Captain Oats around? I brought him some company.”

 

Seth turned his head to Summer, eyes widening when she lifted her hand. “Princess Sparkle. You’re in my room.”

 

“Yeah. I figured Oats would be pretty down and could the companionship of someone sweet and pretty and with shinier hair. That would just, you know, be there for him.” She put the horse down on the table next to Captain Oats.

 

“Yeah. The Captain’s pretty lucky.”

 

“Yeah, well, if he gets fresh with her it’s straight to the glue factory.”

 

They were silent for a few moments before Summer leaned down in his field of vision.

 

“You okay?”

 

Seth turned his head to look back up to the ceiling and sighed. “I don’t know.”

 

She reached out and brushed her fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

 

Suddenly, Seth rolled over on his side and rested his head in her lap, staring straight ahead. “It’s just that too much has happened and my head is spinning out of control. I mean, all the stuff with Trey and Ryan, then mom’s accident, then grandpa, then mom going away… I just…” He sighed again, grasping her knee and squeezing his eyes close tightly.

 

“Cohen, what happened during spring break?” Summer asked, looking down at Seth as she continued stroking her fingers through his hair.

 

Seth exhaled loudly. He was silent for several moments before he answered. “I was stupid, that’s what happened.”

 

“Well, that not all that unusual,” Summer quipped, smiling slightly.

 

Seth turned to look up at her but didn’t smile back. He shook his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he stared forward at his surfboard but didn’t really see it. “I just wanted to help him, you know? I mean, he’s Ryan’s brother… I’d do anything for Ryan,” he whispered.

 

“What happened?”

 

Seth sighed. “Trey was still looking for a job, so while Ryan was gone, I took Trey down to The Bait Shop since I knew that there was a job opening. Since, you know, I didn’t work there anymore.

 

“Anyway, he got the job and suggested that we celebrate that night. I was all, like, ‘sure!’ I mean, Ryan was gone; I might as well hang out with his brother, maybe get to know him better and stuff.” Seth swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He opened them immediately when visions of Trey’s attack flitted behind his eyelids.

 

Clearing his throat, Seth continued. “We both got kinda drunk.” He heard Summer inhale sharply, but did not look up at her.

 

“We were both kinda drunk, so we went down to the beach to get some air. The next thing I know, he’s, like, all over me, trying to kiss me and stuff. I told him to stop, but…” Seth flicked his eyes up to Summer for an instant before looking away. “We both know there’s no way I could take him. Hell, you’re stronger than I am.

 

“Anyway, he pushed me down on the sand and tried to…” Seth cleared his throat and swallowed hard. “I managed to get away before he did anything, but…” 

 

Seth was startled when Summer curled her head down, hugging him. Her hair a veil covering both their faces. She cupped his face and forced him to look at her. “Did he…?”

 

Seth shook his head. “No.”

 

Summer nodded and kissed his cheek before sitting up. “Good.” She looked up blindly across the room before asking, “Does Ryan know?”

 

Seth vehemently shook his head. “No. He just thinks I hooked up with him, that’s all,” he said bitterly.

 

“Not anymore, I don’t.” Seth and Summer sat bolt upright and saw a pale Ryan coming into the room, arms tightly wrapped around his chest.

 

“Ryan, I didn’t…”

 

Ryan quickly moved to kneel down by the bed, gently thumbing Seth’s cheeks with both hands, brushing away tears Seth hadn’t realized he’d been shedding. “I’m so sorry I thought you hooked up with Trey. God, Seth…” 

 

Ryan’s eyes were soft with love, but intense with self-hatred. He tenderly brought Seth’s head closer and placed a kiss on his forehead, pressing his lips to the tender flesh and closing his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Seth.” Rising slightly, Ryan placed a kiss over each eye and another one gently on Seth’s lips. He leaned back and stared intently at Seth. He cupped Seth’s cheek with a palm, fingers trailing slowly down Seth’s face. They stared at each other for a long moment, Ryan gently caressing Seth’s features, before quickly standing up and leaving the room.

 

“Ryan!” Seth yelled, standing up to go after him.

 

Summer shook her head at Seth as she jumped up from the bed. “Stay here.”

 

Seth sat back down and put his head in his hands in misery.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

Ryan was half way down the stairs by the time Summer caught up with him. “Ryan, where do you think you’re going? Seth needs you!”

 

Ryan whirled on her and glared up the steps. “You know, all year, I’ve tried to be a different person. I can’t do that anymore.”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“To settle this with Trey… once and for all.” He stalked down the rest of the stairs and grabbed the keys to the Rover, ignoring Summer’s shouting from the house.

 

The tires screeched as he left the driveway, puffs of smoke in the air long after he’d disappeared.

 

He could barely keep quiet when he’d gone to Seth’s room and heard him tell Summer what had happened with Trey that week he’d been gone. His initial suspicion was way off the mark. Never could he conceive of Trey attacking Seth. And the fact that Seth had kept that from him…? Well, Seth probably didn’t want Ryan to do exactly what he was going to do right now.

 

That bastard came into my life after two years… TWO YEARS of being in jail and fucked everything up within a two month period. The Cohens took him into their house and Trey was stealing from them within a week. Seth tried to help him out by finding him a job and was repaid by being molested and almost raped.

 

Ryan swerved the wheel, almost hitting another car. God! How could I not have known? That explained everything that Ryan noticed but couldn’t put a finger on. All the nervous glances. All the mood swings. Everything. All because his fucking brother couldn’t keep it in his pants. All because his fucking brother couldn’t let Ryan have one good thing in his life.

 

Well, this was going to end tonight. Ryan was going to finish it with his brother one way or the other.

 

He’d asked him to leave once he realized that Seth was just too miserable being around Trey. And if Trey stayed in Newport, then there was a good chance that they would see Trey much more than what was comfortable, so Ryan had asked him to leave. 

 

God, was that only a few hours ago? It was amazing how things changed from one second to the next.

 

Ryan was practically out of the car before it rolled to a stop, banging on the apartment door. “Trey! Trey!! Trey, open the fucking door!”

 

The door opened and Trey peeked his head around the corner before opening it fully. “Hey, Ry.”

 

“I know what happened. I know what happened with you and Seth.” The stood staring at each other before Ryan took one step in, then another. “How could you, man? I would have done anything for you.”

 

Trey stepped back. “Look, man, I was messed up. I was stoned.”

 

“It wasn’t my idea, Trey. I didn’t want to steal that car,” Ryan reminded, getting up into Trey’s face.

 

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t wait for it and you got the good lesson.”

 

“And you had to destroy it?” Ryan pushed Trey in the chest, sending him backwards. “You had to hurt him, huh?!”

 

Trey stumbled back almost loosing his footing before springing for the couch. The next thing Ryan knew, Trey had a gun in his hand, pointing it at his face.

 

“We’re gonna calm down and we’re gonna calm down right now,” Trey stated, cocking the gun. “Okay?”

 

“What’re you gonna do? Shoot me?” Trey’s finger shook over the trigger. “Is that how this ends?” Ryan asked.

 

“No, how this ends is up to you. And whether or not you walk away right now.” Trey now had the gun in only one hand, but he was not wavering. Ryan stood there staring at his brother. When had it come to this? “Walk.” Trey demanded. “Away.” 

 

The stand-off lasted a minute longer before Ryan raised his hands up placatingly. He closed his eyes and turned his head. God, this was killing him, but…

 

He turned to the door and started towards it. He could hear Trey’s shaky breath behind him. Then suddenly, Ryan whipped around and lunged towards Trey, knocking him off balance. Both guys falling to the ground and the gun skirted away.

 

Ryan’s fist pounded into Trey, beating all his anger out on the one man who’d fucked everything up… who’d hurt Seth. His fist smashed into Trey’s face, over and over and over. Then his hand covered Trey’s face and cracked it over and over against the wall.

 

Trey got a hand up to Ryan’s face, but it wasn’t enough to stop Ryan from slamming Trey against the wall. Ryan then placed his palms against the wall for leverage and began kicking Trey in the stomach, over and over. Not stopping. Couldn’t stop. Every flinch Seth had given whenever Ryan was near. Every nervous glance Seth had given him, was going right back into Trey… the son of a bitch who was responsible. His own fucking brother!

 

Between one kick and the next, Ryan found himself flying across the room. Somehow, Trey had managed to get a leg in between them and he kicked Ryan, sending him into the glass-topped coffee table. Trey was on him in an instant; hands surrounding his neck, choking the life out of him.

 

Ryan’s hands were wrapped around Trey’s neck, but Trey had the upper now and was on top of him, forcing his weight onto his throat. Ryan thought he heard a voice in the distance. It sounded like Seth. But, what would Seth be doing here? Why? 

 

“You’re killing him, you bastard!” It sounded like Seth, but the voice was getting further and further away.

 

He was punched twice more but, by this time, he was unable to defend himself. He knew it was over. Trey had told him to walk away and he didn’t. Trey was going to kill him. Seth was his last thought before things faded.

 

Then suddenly there was a sound. A popping sound. Like a car backfiring… or a gun going off. The weight of his brother fell off of him, leaving him gasping for breath. He turned his head and saw Trey motionless on the floor by his side. 

 

Ryan managed to roll over and slowly stand up, his right arm hanging limply by his side. He looked down at Trey, stunned from the beating. Then he turned his head and saw Seth standing by the door, gun still in his hand, unmoving. 

 

Seth’s normally animated face was completely blank. And that scared Ryan more than anything ever could. But it also helped him shake the darkness from his mind and he staggered over to Seth, taking the gun out of his hand, dropping it to the floor. 

 

Seth was bleeding on his temple just underneath the wound he received the night before at The Bait Shop. Ryan gently caressed the bruised flesh, thinking that Trey must have hit him sometime before Seth shot him. Seth blinked and moved his head enough to look at Ryan. There was absolutely no emotion there… no anger, no pain, no fear, nothing.

 

“Seth,” Ryan whispered, leaning into the other boy. He felt Seth’s arm go around his waist, pulling him in tight to Seth’s body protectively, and was thankful for the support. But he was also afraid at the lack of emotion. He had returned his attention to the body on the floor. Seth wasn’t shaking or shivering; he stood like a statue, frozen in place. 

 

Ryan cupped Seth’s cheek, fingers wiping away the blood trickling down from his temple. “Seth?” God, if he could just get Seth to look at him again. “Seth, please.”

 

He watched Seth blink several times, but he still didn’t turn from Trey’s body. Ryan maneuvered his body around to stand in front of Seth, trying to block out his brother’s body.

 

“Seth!”

 

Seth blinked several more times before looking down at Ryan as though seeing him for the first time. He suddenly started to shake. “Ryan? I’m… I’m sorry,” Seth whispered, clutching at Ryan’s waist. “He was gonna kill you.”

 

“Shh,” Ryan soothed, gently brushing blood-matted curls from Seth’s face. “I know.”

 

Seth dropped his head on Ryan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Seth’s weight suddenly crumpled to the ground and Ryan went with him, unable to hold himself up either. 

 

Seth continued to shake, face buried in Ryan’s neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. He was gonna kill you. I couldn’t let him kill you. I’m sorry, Ryan. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t leave me. Please…”

 

Ryan wrapped his good arm tightly around Seth’s shoulders, pulling the unresisting body closer. “Shh,” he whispered over and over in Seth’s ear, trying to quiet the now panicking Seth. “Shh, it’s gonna be all right. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I love you. And I will never leave you. I promise. Shh. Shhhhhhh. Seth, please, shhhhhhh.”

 

Seth stopped muttering his apology and started crying in earnest, fingers clutching at Ryan’s back, pulling him closer.

 

Ryan turned one last time to look at his brother’s body and silently cursed Trey. Even in death, Trey had managed to keep hurting Seth.

 

* * * * *

 

They sat on the floor for who knows how long, Ryan unconsciously rocking Seth back and forth, trying in vain to calm his friend. He could hear sirens in the distance and realized that they needed Sandy there immediately. Digging through Seth’s pockets, Ryan located Seth’s cell phone and dialed Sandy.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Sandy?” Ryan could not keep the panic out of his voice.

 

“Ryan? What’s wrong?”

 

“We need you,” was all he said.

 

“Where are you?”

 

“Trey’s apartment.”

 

“I’ll be right there.”

 

Ryan hung up the phone not waiting for a reply. The sirens were getting closer and closer but he didn’t move. He was afraid to move. Seth was still clinging onto him, fists now gripping handfuls of Ryan shirt, face burrowed in the curve of Ryan’s neck.

 

The first to get there were Officers Joe Scalan and Tim Lewis: the two officers who were called in to baby-sit them during Sandy and Kirsten’s anniversary and who were in on the surprise for Kirsten. When they got to the door, they immediately checked on the boys.

 

Officer Scalan knelt down. “You boys okay?”

 

Ryan looked up and was grateful to see a friendly face, but he shook his head.

 

Officer Lewis went to check on Trey. He looked up at his partner and shook his head. “He’s dead.”

 

Seth whined and grabbed onto Ryan tighter. “’m sorry, Ry, I’m so sorry,” he muttered against his chest.

 

“Shh, shh, Seth, I know. It’s okay. Shh.” Ryan looked up at Officer Scalan, more frightened than he’d ever been. More so than when his mother had kicked him out. And way more than when he’d gone to juvie. “Sandy’s on his way,” was all Ryan said, knowing that he shouldn’t talk to anyone until Sandy got there.

 

Scalan nodded and looked up at his partner. “Better call for the coroner.” He looked down at the boys. “And get an ambulance, too.”

 

Lewis nodded and left the apartment, leaving Scalan behind to stay with Ryan and Seth.

 

About twenty minutes later, the scene outside the apartment looked like a scene from a movie… there were several police cars, an ambulance and a coroner’s wagon when Sandy pulled up.

 

Ryan saw him get out of the car and talk to Officer Lewis before heading towards the apartment.

 

“Wha—?” Sandy began before noticing the blood stains from Trey’s body on the floor. “Oh god.” He looked at Scalan. “What happened?”

 

Scalan shook his head. “They won’t talk.”

 

Sandy nodded. “Can I have a minute?”

 

Scalan nodded as well and directed the photographers and other personnel from the room.

 

Sandy crouched down and got his first look at his sons. Seth’s face was still buried in Ryan’s shoulder and Ryan still had his left arm around Seth’s back. They were huddled together by the door shaking in fear.

 

“Ryan?” Sandy put a hand on the side of Ryan’s face. “You want to tell me what happened?”

 

Ryan looked down at Seth, trying to figure out how much to tell him. He was afraid of telling him the real reason behind the whole thing. He didn’t want Sandy to know that his son had been assaulted by his brother. Doing the only thing he could think of, Ryan took the responsibility. “It’s my fault. I shot Trey.”

 

Seth snapped his head up and started shaking his head. “No, Ryan. No. No. You can’t take the blame for this.” He turned to his father, who gasped when he saw the blood on his son’s face. “I shot Trey, dad. He was gonna kill Ryan. I didn’t have a choice.”

 

Sandy reached out a tentative hand and lightly brushed a few stray strains of blood-soaked hair.

 

“Seth, please,” Ryan started, turning to sit side-by-side with Seth, though keeping him wrapped tightly against him.

 

Seth shook his head and scooted closer, looking up at Ryan. “No, Ry. I’m not gonna let you do this.” With a strange calmness that frightened Ryan, Seth turned to his father and started to explain. “Ryan found out that Trey, um…” Seth looked down. “That Trey hurt me, and came over. When I got here, I found them fighting. Trey was on top of Ryan punching him over and over. I thought Ryan was dead when I got here. He wasn’t moving to protect himself or fight Trey off or anything. I tried to pull Trey off, but he hit me.” Sandy thumbed Seth’s new wound gently as Seth continued. “I fell back and that’s when I saw the gun lying on the floor. I yelled for him to stop, but he wouldn’t. Then he yanked the phone out of the wall and raised it over his head like he was gonna smash it on Ryan’s face. I couldn’t let him do that, Dad. I couldn’t!” Seth’s voice rose steadily, pleading for his father to believe him.

 

“Shh,” Sandy soothed, cupping his son’s cheek. And for the first time he noticed Ryan’s right arm laying limp in his lap. Ryan also was bloodied and bruised all over his face. Putting off the questioning for a moment, he looked between his sons. “Have the paramedics looked at you?”

 

Ryan and Seth looked away.

 

“They wouldn’t let them get close enough,” Scalan answered for them. “They demanded to wait for you.”

 

Sandy nodded and looked back at the boys. “Well, let’s let them check you out and then,” he looked up at the officers. “Then, I’m afraid, we’ll have to go down to the station.”

 

Seth whimpered and grasped Ryan tighter, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he took a deep breath and looked resolutely up at his dad and Scalan. “Ryan shouldn’t have to go. I did it. I confess.”

 

At any other time, Ryan would have found Seth’s declaration amusing. However, this was far from being funny. “Seth.”

 

“I’m afraid we’ll need both of your statements,” Officer Scalan said.

 

Seth looked up at Ryan in apology. 

 

“It’s okay,” Ryan murmured. Seth stared into Ryan’s eyes for several minutes before he nodded.

 

They both started to get up. When Officer Scalan leaned in to help the boys stand, Seth jerked back violently while at the same time, pushed the helping hands away from Ryan. Scalan stepped back placatingly, used to this type of behavior. Sandy and Ryan looked at Seth with concern. Sandy had been ready to assist his sons as well, but froze at seeing Seth’s reaction.

 

“It’s okay, Seth,” Ryan soothed. Sandy stepped forward when Seth gave his father a guilty look.

 

Seth helped Ryan out the door and down the stairs. Sandy close behind them both.

 

They sat on the step at the back of the ambulance as the paramedics checked them over. Seth’s head wound was given a few butterfly bandages as was the earlier wound he’d received at The Bait Shop, which had opened back up when Trey hit him. 

 

Ryan was much more worse off. While they couldn’t be sure, the paramedics thought he might have a dislocated shoulder and placed the arm in a sling. They patched up the cuts and bruises that littered his face before informing Sandy that he should get both Seth and, specifically, Ryan checked out at the hospital before they gave their statements.

 

Officer Scalan came over after the paramedics were finished. “Sandy.”

 

Sandy nodded at him, but asked. “Can’t I bring them in?”

 

Scalan looked over at his partner and nodded. “We’ll follow you.”

 

“Thanks guys.”

 

Sandy herded his boys to his car, settling Ryan in the back seat. Seth, who had refused to leave Ryan’s side, crawled in after Ryan and curled up next to him, wrapping his arms around Ryan’s waist.

 

Ryan’s left arm looped around Seth’s shoulder and Seth laid his head on Ryan’s shoulder.

 

Ryan’s anxious eyes met Sandy’s in the mirror before turning to tiredly lean his head against Seth’s.

 

It was going to be a long night.

 

* * * * *

 

Sandy took them to the hospital first where Ryan’s shoulder was looked at. The doctors popped the shoulder back into place and told him he’d have to wear the sling for a few weeks. Seth was given several stitches to close up both wounds. And during all this time, Seth stayed glued to Ryan’s side. When the doctor tried to move them apart, Seth growled low in his throat at the physician and put himself between Ryan and the doctor. It wasn’t until after Ryan whispered reassurances softly in Seth’s ear that he was able to let the doctor near. And even so, Seth stayed within touching distance… usually closer.

 

After the hospital, they were taken to the station and had given their statements separately. Their stories were, for the most part, identical, at least the important part where Trey had been shot. Between that, Trey’s none-too-stellar past, and even the looks of the two boys, the police temporarily concluded that it was self-defense, but wouldn’t give a concrete answer until the investigation was over. As it was, Sandy was able to bring both boys home.

 

They didn’t arrive home until after five in the morning.

 

Sandy gently woke them up from their light doze in the backseat and helped them into the house. Without even thinking about it, he guided both of them to Seth’s room, needing them close by, but also knowing that they could not be apart. At least Seth couldn’t be alone… or wouldn’t be alone.

 

The boys slowly made their way up to the room and sat exhaustedly on the edge of Seth’s bed. Seth had interlaced his fingers with Ryan’s while at the hospital and hadn’t let go even once they were home.

 

Ryan stared at Sandy like he was in trouble and would be kicked out at any moment, so he clutched at Seth’s hand like a lifeline.

 

“Sandy…”

 

Sandy had knelt down and was untying and taking off their shoes. He stopped and looked up at Ryan, bringing up a hand to cup Ryan’s face.

 

“I had to go over there, Sandy,” Ryan looked down at Seth who had his head on Ryan’s shoulder, staring off into space unblinking. “I had to.” His voice begged Sandy to believe him.

 

“I know, kiddo.” Sandy looked over at Seth and swallowed hard, rapidly blinking watery eyes. “He said he was sick,” Sandy explained before looking up at Ryan. “That weekend when you and your Mom were gone.” Neither paid attention to Sandy’s verbal slip. “He said he wasn’t feeling well and I believed him.” He looked back at Seth. “I believed you.” But there was no reaction at all from Seth. He may be in the room physically, but that was about it.

 

Ryan nodded and looked down at Seth as well. He and Sandy both realizing how much they had let Seth down, however unintentional.

 

When Sandy brushed his fingers lightly over Seth cheek, Seth blinked several times as though coming out of a dream and sat up, looking at his father with wide sad eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

 

“I know, son.”

 

“He was gonna kill Ryan. I couldn’t…”

 

Sandy cupped the side of Seth’s face. “Shh. I know.” Ryan watched as Sandy leaned up and wrapped his arms around both boys. Ryan leaned into the hug and dropped his head onto Sandy’s shoulder. “I’m just glad you’re both all right.”

 

When Sandy moved back a few minutes later, Ryan jerked back and blinked heavily. He had been about to fall asleep on Sandy’s shoulder; and by the looks of things, so had Seth. Sandy finished removing their shoes and stood up. Ryan sat placidly as Sandy helped them both out of their dirty, bloody clothes. Progress was hampered momentarily when Seth refused to let go of Ryan’s hand. But after a calming word from Ryan, Seth let go long enough to pull both his shirt and Ryan’s shirt off before linking their fingers once more.

 

As they stood to remove their pants, Sandy pulled back the bedding, going to the closet to pull out another quilt. When he returned, Ryan had Seth pulled in tight against his left side, Seth’s head pillowed on his chest.

 

Sandy draped the blanket over them and stood a moment longer, staring down at his two boys.

 

“Get some sleep if you can,” Sandy said, leaning over to brush Ryan’s forehead and then Seth’s.

 

Before he could pull away, Ryan grabbed his hand. A gasp of pain hissed through his teeth and he bit the inside of his cheek from the sudden movement of his shoulder.

 

“Hey, be careful,” Sandy admonished gently.

 

Ryan swallowed nervously and cleared his throat, darting his eyes around the room. “Um… could you, uh…” He blinked several times and ducked his head. “Could you stay? Um, at least until…”

 

Sandy squeezed his hand before letting go. He caressed the side of Ryan’s face gently. “Of course.” He moved back to grab Seth’s computer chair to drag it close to the bed before deciding he wanted to be closer and settled down on the edge of the mattress.

 

Ryan blindly reached out and found Sandy’s hand, squeezing tightly despite the pain in his shoulder.

 

Sandy leaned forward and switched off the light with his free hand and waited for the boys to drift to sleep.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

“Ryan!” Seth sat bolt upright, eyes darting around his room, but not really seeing anything. His mind’s eye was still encompassed in the nightmare that had woken him up: Ryan lying motionless on the floor of Trey’s apartment, head bashed in from the telephone that Trey had hit him with.

 

A pair of large palms cupped his face, shaking lightly.

 

“Seth! Son!” Seth blinked and turned his head in the direction of the voice. His father was sitting on the edge of the bed, large worried eyes full of concern imploring Seth to look at him.

 

“Dad?”

 

One hand slid up Seth’s cheek and fingers slipped into Seth’s hair. “Yeah, son, it’s me.”

 

Seth looked around and saw that he was in his room, but Ryan was no where to be found. He turned panicked brown eyes towards his dad. “Ryan?!”

 

“Right here,” Ryan panted, rushing in the room, having heard Seth’s initial yell. His hair was still damp from the shower and he was fighting with the sling, trying to get the strap over the back of his neck. His sweats hung low on his hips and a towel was slung over his other shoulder.

 

Sandy had moved back to the end of the bed when Ryan entered the room, leaving space for Ryan to sit next to Seth.

 

Relief flooded Seth’s eyes and he leaned forward to drop his head against Ryan’s towel-covered shoulder for a few moments before leaning back and helping Ryan with the sling.

 

Seth took a deep breath and look between his dad and Ryan. “So it wasn’t a dream?”

 

Sandy rose and stood between the two boys, resting a hand on Seth’s neck. Ryan shook his head and reached out his good hand to grasp one of Seth’s.

 

The room filled with uncomfortable silence before Sandy cleared his throat. “I’m gonna go down and make some breakfast.”

 

Ryan nodded.

 

Seth shook his head. “I’m not that…”

 

“You need to eat,” Ryan interrupted him. The two boys stared at one another for a few moments before Seth relented and nodded his head. “We’ll be down soon,” Ryan told Sandy. Once Sandy had left them alone, Ryan removed his hand from Seth’s and threaded his fingers through Seth’s hair, rubbing the by-now dry-blood matted strands between his fingers. “But first, I think we need to get you in the shower.”

 

Seth just nodded and slowly got up. He took a few steps towards the door before turning around and looking at Ryan. “Could you, um…” He looked down and picked at a fingernail. When he looked up, Ryan was right next to him, reaching out to grasp a hand.

 

“C’mon,” Ryan said quietly and they made their way to the bathroom where Ryan sat on the toilet keeping guard as Seth took his shower.

 

* * * * *

 

The next month went by in a blur.

 

Ryan had taken to sleeping in Seth’s room; something that Sandy never brought up.

 

Thankfully school had let out for the summer when the Cohens were mourning the loss of Caleb, so Seth and Ryan didn’t have to deal with Harbor High and student gossip. It was bad enough they had to deal with Newport society’s gossip – Caleb was dead, Kirsten was in rehab and Seth had shot a man… poor Sandy and Ryan. Oh and did Kirsten know about her son murdering their ward’s brother? It was enough that Seth and Ryan had barely left the house. They knew that Sandy heard an earful during his ventures outside the house, but he never told the boys what he’d heard and they certainly didn’t ask.

 

During all of this time, Seth never let Ryan stray too far from sight. He didn’t know if it was because he needed Ryan’s reassurance that he, Ryan, was okay or if it was because he was afraid that Ryan would leave him because, you know, he’d killed his only brother. Whatever the reason, he knew it was drawing a lot of concern from both his dad and his boyfriend and Seth hoped it would dissipate soon.

 

And it wasn’t just keeping Ryan in his line of sight that was troubling everyone, including himself. There were also the incidences when, if anyone made any kind of sudden move towards Ryan, Seth would go all caveman and protective. Which was weird since it was usually Ryan everyone associated those qualities with.

 

Case in point: A few weeks after The Shooting, Summer and Zach had come to visit. They had been the only ones who had bothered to check up on them since that fateful night. Marissa had come over once, but only at the insistence of her dad. She was still trying to come to terms with the Ryan/Seth factor and didn’t know what to say or how to act around either one of the boys. Her ex-boyfriend was now in a relationship with another boy and that boy he was in a relationship with just killed someone.

 

What do you say anyway?

 

Well, Summer and Zach undoubtedly didn’t have that problem, as they were over at the Cohens’ many times since it happened.

 

Anyway, Ryan was coming back from the kitchen with a tray of drinks and, although his arm had been out of the sling for a few days by then, his shoulder still gave him problems periodically. As he stepped into the living room, his shoulder gave out and the drink tray started to tilt, sending the drinks on a slide towards the floor. Zach, being closer than Summer or Seth, rushed to intercept the falling glasses. 

 

He snagged the tray in the nick of time. “Hey! You okay?” Zach had asked, reaching out to pat Ryan’s arm.

 

That minimal contact was enough to send Seth flying off the sofa, shoving Zach away, causing Zach, the tray, and the drinks to fly backwards.

 

Everyone stared at Seth in alarm and dismay. Seth was standing in front of Ryan, glaring down at Zach like he was; well, not to use the term lightly, but… like he was ready to kill him.

 

Zach stayed exactly where he had fallen and didn’t move a muscle, frozen in genuine fear. Summer had about to make a biting remark until she saw the danger in Seth’s eyes and snapped her mouth shut; she, too, unmoving on the couch. It wasn’t until Ryan reached out a hand and gently smoothed his palm down Seth’s arm, gaining his attention, that the tension fled the room – Seth turned to Ryan, frowning and blinking rapidly, as though coming out of a fog.

 

“Shh. It’s okay,” Ryan eased, sliding his hand up into Seth’s unruly hair, slowly pulling the unresisting body into his arms.

 

“Huh?” Seth’s eyebrows drew together, before he laid his head on Ryan’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around Ryan’s waist.

 

Seth heard Ryan tell their friends that maybe they’d better go. 

 

It wasn’t until he turned around in time to see Zach painfully start to stand up that Seth realized what had happened. He immediately turned scarlet with embarrassment and moved forward to help Zach stand. When Zach flinched from him, Seth paled – shocked that he had frightened his friend so badly.

 

Zach realized his mistake, but it was too late. Seth had backed away and sat forlornly on a chair, dropping his face into his hands. He felt Ryan by his side in an instant, but it was no comfort for the fear he saw in Zach’s face. Fear of him.

 

“’m sorry,” Seth muttered, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

 

He felt a hand on his knee and looked up into the compassionate eyes of both Zach and Summer, who were kneeling in front of him.

 

“Hey, man,” Zach reassured. “It’s okay.”

 

Seth started shaking his head, knowing full well that it wasn’t okay in any way. When he felt a hand on his cheek, he stopped and looked at Summer, who had halted his head-shaking. 

 

“It’s okay, Cohen. Okay?” Seth opened his mouth to refute her statement, but she placed an index finger over his lips. “It’s okay.”

 

Thick tears dropped down his cheeks and he nodded. Not really convinced, but appreciating her generosity, nonetheless.

 

Zach patted his knee one last time and Summer leaned forward to kiss his forehead before they both stood up. Seth sagged against Ryan, who had pulled Seth close to him after he sat down.

 

“We’ll come back tomorrow, all right?” Summer suggested, looking down at Seth and Ryan.

 

Ryan looked at Seth, silently asking if that was something that Seth wanted. Seth merely nodded his acquiescence and laid his head on Ryan’s shoulder.

 

“Sounds good,” Ryan answered for both of them.

 

“Maybe we could go to the beach or something?” Summer proposed. At the fear she saw in both her friends’ eyes, she amended. “Just the one down here… where you keep your boat.”

 

Seth and Ryan visibly relaxed and nodded. “All right.” Again, Ryan answered for them both.

 

Zach and Summer gathered their belongings and left, leaving Seth and Ryan huddled on the chair together.

 

After several silent moments, Seth raised his head and looked solemnly at Ryan. “I am so sorry, Ryan. I don’t know…”

 

Ryan cupped Seth’s cheeks and leaned forward, tenderly kissing Seth’s forehead. He then moved down and kissed the bridge of Seth’s nose, both cheeks and finally his lips. “It’s okay,” Ryan mouthed against Seth’s lips.

 

Seth shook his head in denial. “No, it’s not, Ryan. Didn’t you see the look in Zach’s face? He was afraid of me. Afraid! I’ve never had anyone afraid of me before. I…”

 

“Seth,” Ryan began to explain. “You just went though something that no one should ever go through. It’s gonna take time for you to get your feet back under you.”

 

“But I could have hurt him!” Seth jumped up and started to pace, running agitated fingers through his thick curls.

 

Ryan stood up and intercepted him, wrapping his fingers around Seth’s biceps. “But you didn’t. You just need some time, that’s all.” He brushed back a rebellious curl over Seth’s right ear and pulled him into a gentle hug. “I promise,” Ryan whispered in his ear.

 

For some reason, that was enough for Seth and he leaned forward, dropping his forehead on Ryan’s shoulder; hands coming up to Ryan’s side to grab handfuls of his wifebeater. “Okay.” 

 

“I love you, Seth. We’ll get though this. I promise.”

 

Seth lifted his head and looked deeply into Ryan’s ocean-blue eyes. He latched onto Ryan’s promise in those eyes and much, much more. He silently thanked his father for the millionth time for bringing home the juvenile delinquent from Chino who gave this Newport Misfit a place to belong. He was thankful everyday that Ryan was in his life. 

 

He would never wish what happened to them on anyone, but he wouldn’t change how his life turned out, either. He had the love of his life right there in his arms and knew that they would, indeed, get though this. It would take time, but it was one promise that would be kept.

 

“I love you, too, Ryan.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips over Ryan’s, sealing their promise with a kiss.

 

 

Finis

7/18/05


End file.
